1. The landlady's Apple mobile phone has some cards, let me clean up for her, is cleaning up the files, someone on WeChat spoke to her: "I miss you, do you miss me?" "I was jealous at once,

1. The landlady's Apple mobile phone has some cards, let me clean up for her, is cleaning up the files, someone on WeChat spoke to her: "I miss you, do you miss me?" I was immediately jealous and replied, "Who are you?" Don't talk nonsense. The other party responded for a while: "Hey hey, I'm his daughter-in-law, I'll just try it." I said, "I'm her boyfriend." The other person replied, "Really? Then let's add a WeChat separately. "Then, we added WeChat to each other, and I saw her circle of friends, which was a beautiful woman, and I was very happy." After cleaning up the phone after a while, I deleted the WeChat chat history. The landlady took the phone, called me over, and said, "Who did you talk to... How do you add the WeChat of the daughter-in-law. "I don't admit it, the landlady handed me WeChat to show me, and the other party took a screenshot of our previous chat history." I was so angry that I replied with my phone: "Idiot, I don't know how to delete the chat history." The other party replied: "I am her husband..."

2. The wife noticed that her husband had recently had some bad breath, so she took the time to accompany him to the hospital. The doctor stopped her outside the clinic, pale and lowered his voice, saying, "The examination shows that your husband died three days ago." The wife was stunned, turned her head to see her husband coming out of the examination room, naturally stepped forward to hold his hand, and said as usual, "The doctor said that you have been a little on fire recently, and I will give you soup later." Do you prefer winter melon ribs, or carrot corn? ”

3. Shortly after the younger brother got his driver's license, he sent the goddess home, and the goddess's family lived in the alley. It was hard to send the goddess home, and when the goddess went upstairs, the window was also lit, so let's go home. But found that the car could not go out, the emergency, after calling a brother to come and dump the car out to count the end. The goddess was so moved to death that she said that my brother was so nice that after sending her home, she was stunned that she had been guarding under the window of her house for two hours before leaving.

4. The chairman of my company is my husband-in-law, and after getting married, I was promoted to general manager and often traveled with him. Arrived in a small town yesterday and there were not enough hotel rooms and we had to sleep in the same place. When I was talking to Bill with my laptop leaning on the head of the bed, the old man said, "The screen of the notebook is too bright for me to sleep, so you better go to the living room and surf the Internet." So I ran to the living room with my notebook. After 5 minutes, I only heard my father-in-law shouting inside: "I can't sleep, you better go to the bedroom and surf the Internet." "I was weird and asked what was going on. The old man sighed and said, "I am very uneasy that you are chatting on the Internet behind my daughter's back!" ”

5. Graduated from a famous school and was assigned to a large industrial and mining enterprise, and the treatment was not bad. The manager was very welcoming when I first went. Once the manager suddenly turned around and asked, "By the way, what's your last name?" I said with great pride, "My name is Wang!" The manager said to the personnel commissioner: "When assigning dormitories, remember to divide his dormitories with my family farther away." ”

6. A person who does not learn no skills, but pretends to be learning from the East and the West, and brags everywhere. One day, his neighbor came and asked the man to read a tablet. The man pretended to look at it for half a day, but in fact no one knew: Where did the letter come from? His neighbor: It was sent from the south. The man sighed: "No wonder I don't know, the letter was written in the Southern language."

7. The old man and I played with chicken, and the mother-in-law asked him to help sweep the ground. The mother-in-law was angry, and for 3 days she did not pay attention to the old man, and the old man really couldn't stand the cold violence. Just say to your mother-in-law: "Can I help you empty your Taobao shopping cart?" Don't get angry! "The mother-in-law agreed! I took a look at the old man, 50,000! The old man was furious and said, "What do these bad ladies buy a day!" 50,000 pieces! Later, we took a closer look, and 49 of the 50 things were bought for me and my husband: "Slippers, pajamas, blindfolds and so on!" "The mother-in-law just bought her a 39,000 bag...

8. Today's company dinner, the boss invited me to eat turkey, waited for a long time, and then the steaming steamed chicken was served, and I volunteered to tear the chicken. I grabbed the chicken leg in one hand and cut it with a knife in the other, and the big chicken leg was of course given to the boss. I tore off the chicken leg, and I was going to hand the chicken leg to the boss, but I didn't pay attention and extended the knife to the boss: "Boss, do you want to eat the chicken leg?" The boss looked at the knife and was stunned: "You eat, you eat." "Then the next day I was fired for stepping right foot into the company . . .

9. After work, the little uncle was just about to leave, and the day before yesterday the sister was going to take his car home. Without saying a word, she took her directly, and when it was almost time for Tomson Yipin, she said to the little uncle: Handsome brother, thank you so much today, or let's have a meal together? As soon as the beautiful woman said this, a picture quickly appeared in the little uncle's mind: eat a big meal together, and then she ordered a good and expensive dish, drank some wine, and finally had a lot of money at the checkout. The little uncle carefully tasted the consequences of this is really terrible, and immediately replied: No need to really use, if you are hungry, then get off the car quickly.  

10. My son is eighteen years old and has grown up, and his sensible son celebrates his mother every Mother's Day. However, the son has never remembered Father's Day, so the father is quite lost. On August 8 this year, a father was sitting at the dinner table eating with his family, and suddenly his son went to the refrigerator. When he opened the refrigerator and took out something, he suddenly said casually, "Dad, do you know how many months and days it is?" The father secretly rejoiced in his heart, thinking that his son might surprise him, so he replied happily: "Today is August 8th." The son said a little disappointedly: "Oh, the milk has expired!" ”