Author/Child
Once on the Internet, I saw such a question: When did you realize that you were an outsider in your in-laws' house?
One of the replies really stuck to my heart, and it was written like this: After I was out of confinement, my mother-in-law said to me: "You go to find a night shift job, you can also take the baby during the day, just right." ”
It was a simple sentence, but I felt as if I had read a long story, obviously saying nothing, but saying everything.
Why does this sentence, which sounds like a huge problem hidden in the ears of outsiders, seem to be taken for granted to her mother-in-law? Because the starting point is different. I think that as any outsider, including myself who hears this, the first reaction is: If she has to take a child during the day and go to work at night, when will she rest?
However, it is obvious that the point of her mother-in-law's consideration is not here at all, whether this sentence is intentional or unintentional, it can prove that in her mother-in-law's heart, everything about her daughter-in-law has not attracted any attention at all.
The starting point of this sentence lies in two places: first, her mother-in-law wants her to find a night job, which must be to think of her going out to earn money, and then think a little deeper, the mother-in-law wants her to go out to earn money to share part of the family's expenses, and nine times out of ten for the sake of her son; second, let her take the baby during the day, no doubt this must be considering her grandson, hoping that she can take care of it.
Her mother-in-law thought of her son and grandson, but did not think about anything from her point of view, so when she said that sentence, she subconsciously ignored that she was not a robot, could not operate all day, and also needed to rest.
In a simple sentence, the many hidden grievances in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are exhausted.
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a relatively long-standing topic, and many women who enter marriage will more or less face some problems between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Of course, there will certainly be exceptions.
It is really difficult for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to get along well, just imagine, two people who have not had any intersection before, due to differences in age, it is easy to have some differences and discord in their lifestyles, and later they need to think of themselves as family.
Between the biological parents and the child, there is still a need to continue to run in, but also need to experience quarrels, in the years of getting along day and night, do not necessarily have enough tacit understanding and tolerance, let alone between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, there are more unfounded estrangement and suspicion, which often makes the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law easier to become more fragile.
Moreover, if the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law want to maintain a good relationship, what is needed is the joint efforts of both parties, whether it is the mother-in-law or the daughter-in-law, if one of them does not do well, it will certainly not be able to finally form a harmonious relationship.
Sometimes things are so dramatic, and many reasonable mothers-in-law may not be able to meet the same gentle and kind daughter-in-law. At the same time, those daughters-in-law who are down-to-earth may also meet an inattentive mother-in-law.
Only when two people are in this relationship, can do mutual respect, mutual understanding, appropriate distance at the same time, but can also maintain a good relationship between the two people, in order to finally let this relationship, continue to move in a good direction.
In life, I believe that there are many women, when marrying their husbands, their mother-in-law has said such a sentence: We will definitely treat you as our daughter in the future.
In fact, in most cases, just listen to this, don't take it too seriously. Because countless realities have proved that a daughter is a daughter, and a daughter-in-law is a daughter-in-law. As a mother-in-law, there is no need to emphasize that you regard your daughter-in-law as a daughter, because everyone understands that this is basically impossible.
Between the daughter and the mother, is the relationship of the October pregnancy, this kind of blood kinship bondage, is an emotion that many things in this world cannot make up, and even a kind of care and love that transcends human instincts.
In contrast, between daughter-in-law and mother-in-law, there are often more temptations and speculations, examination and measurement, and even more, unprovoked comparisons and opinions.
For example, in this world, there is a kind of mother-in-law, who is afraid that their daughter-in-law has not eaten the hardships they suffered when they were young, but they have enjoyed the blessings they have not enjoyed.
Everyone knows that to marry someone with good character, so that the rest of their lives will be more stable. But in fact, when you decide to be with this person, in addition to examining the character of your husband, the character of your in-laws, especially your mother-in-law, you must consider it carefully.
Of course, the reason why the emphasis is placed on the mother-in-law is because in general, the identity of the mother-in-law often plays a more obvious role in a family.
What kind of person your mother-in-law is, to a large extent, will also affect how your marital relationship is. After all, marriage is not better than love, after marriage is even more impossible not to communicate with the in-laws, if you encounter that kind of thing that likes to manage the son, always regard the son and himself as the mother-in-law of the family, it is easier to add a layer of bondage to the marriage relationship.
In life, because the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good, the situation of choosing divorce in the end is definitely not an individual case, but accounts for a large proportion.
Moreover, at the age of the mother-in-law, a person's personality and thoughts must have been completely frozen and will not change again. At this time, if you have long found that your mother-in-law is not a worry-free person, it is best to stop the loss in time, do not try to use your own good, to move your mother-in-law, or think that marriage is just a matter of the two of you, try to have less contact with your mother-in-law, things are not as simple as you think.
Just like the mother-in-law of the netizen I mentioned above, after she let her daughter-in-law go out of confinement, she took the child during the day and went to work at night, which is enough to prove that there are no small problems in the mother-in-law's mother-in-law view. And this problem will not be alleviated in the relationship, because this is a deep-rooted idea, and it will only deepen this contradiction as the two people get along.
Most of her will not be the kind of mother-in-law who will understand her daughter-in-law, and most of her will not learn to think differently in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but she is clearly selfish, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law cannot be more harmonious under the high probability. And the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will only be a problem that is always accompanied by two people's lives.
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