While chatting with a friend and talking about some women who were unhappy in their marriages, a friend talked about the experiences of her classmates.
Classmates married for the second time, the first marriage brought her a daughter, but the ex-husband's family preferred sons to daughters, and she could not give up, so she took her by her side.
But classmates have limited income, and it feels difficult to raise their daughter alone. In such a situation, she was introduced to her current husband. She thought she had found happiness again, but she didn't want to be in a deep and fierce situation.
The man is divorced and childless, 40 years old, with a salary of 4,000 yuan a month, and does not have his own house.
Under such circumstances, the classmate still married without hesitation and lived in her second-hand house of less than 60 square meters. After marriage, the man has been giving birth, hoping that she can have a son.
So the classmate was confused again, pregnant with a strong pregnancy reaction, unable to work, had to stay at home.
The man is not motivated, eats and drinks with friends after work, a family of several people rely on his little salary, and every time he wants a pregnancy test, his classmates will be scolded for asking for money from men.
Friends said that they really can't stand it, don't understand that a person with a daughter to live, and have a fixed house, the original life is not so difficult, why must remarry, add so much burden to themselves?
In fact, there are some women in marriage who are unhappy for a reason. Not yet figuring out the problems in marriage is like grasping for a life-saving straw and marrying yourself out of it impatiently.
But in fact, will you end up with happiness? The answer is definitely no.
Only after seeing these truths of marriage clearly, no matter who a woman marries, she can grasp happiness.
01 Don't think of marriage as salvation
I often hear some women say that marriage is not because of subjective will, but because of the rush to change the current situation.
Maybe it's because the current life can't satisfy you; maybe it's because at a certain age, everyone around you is married, and you can't stand the eyes and discussion of others so single-handedly; or it's to heal the wounds of the last relationship...
They look for a man who is still reasonable, or thinks he is okay, and marries him in a panic, thinking that he will be the salvation of his life, and he will be happy without having to pay too much.
But where is the truth that it is so easy? Happiness does not fall from the sky, but comes in exchange for your own hands and a little bit of giving, and treating marriage as salvation will largely disappoint you.
In this world, the only thing that can save you is yourself, and it is doomed to be a tragedy to pin the future on others.
If you don't figure out why you want to get married, it's best not to marry easily, let alone have children casually.
You know, marriage is not better than love, only rely on the wind and snow and imagination, can never reach the other side of happiness, a random wind and wave may make you subvert in the ocean of life.
What can create a happy marriage is never the person you marry, but whether you have the ability to do so yourself, and if you are not ready, don't bet rashly.
Only if you think clearly about the purpose of marriage and the difficulties and setbacks that you may face after marriage, you may be able to take the initiative in marriage.
02 You have the ability to support yourself
At any time, do not pin all your hopes of survival on men. This is a piece of advice.
Relying on everyone will run, relying on mountains will fall, only you are your dependence.
No matter what kind of man she marries, women must have the ability to support themselves, even if they do not work, but do not be overwhelmed by sudden changes in life.
Earning more and earning less is the difference in personal ability, and the important thing is to be able to support yourself, which is the confidence in marriage.
There are often some women who are unhappy in marriage, the biggest reason is because they have no money in their hands, first, they have no job and no source of income; second, they are not respected in the family and do not have the economic lifeline.
It is said that the economic base determines the superstructure, and how can it be valued by reaching out for money?
At any given time, women can't live too innocently.
You know, feelings are not strong, and if he loves you today, he will be good to you in every way; tomorrow if he hates you, even if you are good, he will be nothing in his eyes.
Smart women understand that even as a housewife, you must have the skills to make money, this is your own life's job, marriage is never your long-term meal ticket.
Teacher Bao Shishan said that love is not eternal at all, and it will change with many things.
Women must remember that only if they have the ability to settle down and live, they will not be afraid of changes in marriage.
03 Learn to reflect on yourself
Gold has no red gold, and no one is perfect. People have shortcomings, and they will be biased in looking at problems and considering problems incompletely.
Not anyone who walks into marriage can pat their chests and say that they must be able to run well. Marriage is a profound science, and the successful experience of others cannot be imitated, after all, the situation of each family is not the same.
Two people living together can have all sorts of problems and frictions. Marriage is not afraid of contradictions, afraid of a bunch of problems, but do not know how to solve, just escape.
Smart women understand that in marriage, it is not to shirk responsibility, nor to point the spearhead at each other, but to learn to reflect on themselves when encountering setbacks, carefully find the crux of the problem, and solve them one by one.
Only in this way can it be possible to make the marriage live as you want it to be.
04 Find someone who understands
Writer Liao Yimei said that in a person's life, it is not rare to encounter love and sex, but it is rare to encounter understanding.
To understand is to understand, in the vast sea of people, to meet a person who understands you and hurts you, is a gift from Heaven. Life is rare to know oneself, the most difficult to find through the ages, if there is a chance to meet, remember to cherish.
Qian Zhongshu once wrote to Yang Dai: "Before I met you, I didn't think about getting married, meeting you, getting married, I didn't think about marrying someone else." "They have held hands for more than half a century and have always been the most ideal marriage in the hearts of the world."
Mr. Yang Dai said that the most important thing in the combination of men and women is the feelings, the degree of mutual understanding between the two sides, and the depth of understanding in order to appreciate each other, attract each other, support and encourage each other, and only then can the two be happy. The most important thing between husband and wife is the friendship relationship.
Mr. Yang Dai and Qian Zhongshu have a deep affection for each other, saying that she loves her husband more than herself, and is willing to sacrifice herself for the success of his research and writing career, and to give full play to his potential and creativity.
This kind of love is not blindness, but understanding, and the deeper the understanding, the better the feelings. Only by understanding each other can we support each other.
In turn, Qian Zhongshu sympathized with Yang Dai for working until late at night, cooking breakfast for her for decades, accompanying her to the vegetable market, afraid that Yang Dai was too tired, closing the bathroom door and quietly washing clothes...
He is not a man of words, but he understands that the best love for a woman comes from actual action.
Only by marrying a man who understands you can you hold the happiness in marriage.
END.