He Suohuan, a writer of sexual affective psychology, writes love stories, interesting strangers, and material knowledge.
In any relationship, when the other party gets along with you, the three words "dislike you" are on their faces, then it means that your relationship has come to an end.
What does it mean to disguise you unabashedly?
It means that he is too lazy to even pretend, he has a clear card in front of you, and the broken jar is broken.
It is so obvious that if you do not leave him, he will wantonly hurt you, testing your bottom line again and again until all your dignity is drained.
In marriage, when the husband dislikes his wife, there will also be some obvious manifestations.
-01
Devalue all your efforts
There is a type of personality called "blame personality" that occurs in many relationships.
It's just that the most common is in married life.
When your partner faces you, show a "pointing" look.
Whatever you do, he has to point fingers;
Whatever you say, he picks a prick;
No matter what you give to the family, he doesn't care.
In order to work, you earn more money, work overtime until late to return home; Instead of being considerate of you, he also complained to you: "If you feel tired, you won't work overtime, did I make you tired?" ”
You pay for the family, do housework, cook and take the children, but he says: "I work hard, what is there to be pretentious about doing this work?" ”
Devalue your grades and look down on the effort you put in.
Such a man does not know gratitude, let alone how to run a marriage has always relied on two people working together.
Living with an "accusatory partner" will only constantly undermine your confidence, make you feel inferior, and even have "self-doubt".
-02
Look down on your mother's family
Mrs. Chen recently quarreled with her husband because of the New Year gift.
Mrs. Chen plans to wrap 2,000 yuan in red envelopes for her mother's family, buy some gifts for a few uncles and uncles, and sit at the door.
All of them add up, and it costs about four or five thousand dollars.
She felt that every time she returned to her mother's house, these relatives were very polite and had a good relationship with each other, and this gift was necessary.
But the husband felt that he was spending too much.
The husband said: If you spend so much money on your mother's family, then I will also spend so much money on my parents, fair.
What annoyed Mrs. Chen was:
Every time her husband secretly gave her in-laws living expenses, she found it several times without saying anything.
And she married out of town, and she went home twice a year, and she spent this little money and was scolded and scolded by her husband for talking endlessly.
"Won't live"
"Elbow out"
"You are a married girl, what are you doing with so much money for your mother's family?"
In an intimate relationship, when a man dislikes you and looks down on you, he will definitely look down on your mother's family.
He can spend a lot of money on his parents and doesn't care if you agree or not;
And if you want to spend a little money on your mother's family, he has to talk about it for a long time.
Why did he do it?
At the end of the day, I still look down on you.
If he cares about you and respects you, he will definitely communicate with you on how to give gifts to the elders on both sides and give an answer that is acceptable to both parties.
In other words:
If your mother's family is very strong, the conditions are very good, and can help you a lot, men can't wait to run to your mother's house every day.
There are benefits, talents have motivation; If there is no benefit, he will look down on you.
-03
Machismo, who is unwilling to communicate with you in everything
This brings me to a consulting case.
A lady left me a message saying:
She has been married to her husband for 6 years and has always maintained the habit of AA system.
From resistance at the beginning to numbness now, she is used to it.
Her biggest expectation now is: the child will become an adult soon, and when the child goes to college, she will immediately divorce her husband.
the amount of her husband's monthly income is not shared with her;
How much money the family has, basically all of it is in the hands of the husband;
She was pregnant and gave birth, and during the two years when she was at home with a baby, her husband was also AA.
In the end, she couldn't bear it, she filed for divorce, and her husband was not so excessive.
It's just that now that the children have grown up, the husband is still going his own way and becoming more intense.
machismo, many things are not discussed with her;
Don't respect her opinion and don't take what she says seriously.
Have you had a similar experience?
Don't doubt that if a man looks down on you and dislikes you, he will definitely not respect you.
He doesn't support your decision;
The opinion you give, he thinks you are wrong;
What you want, what you buy, you can, but he won't give you a penny.
Even if it is the common property of both of you, he is all in his own hands.
Always treat you as an outsider and always guard against you.
It is clear that they are husband and wife, but they have lived a relationship of "roommates".
Such a marriage is undoubtedly crushing and suffocating.
To run a marriage, it is important to have these factors:
Sense of responsibility, ethics, participation, gratitude and contentment, respect and understanding.
Without either factor, the marriage suffers.
How many people's feelings can go smoothly for a lifetime, without contradictions?
All husband and wife relationships are groped step by step, and then find a suitable mode of getting along with themselves.
But in any case, only a marriage that respects and gives to each other can go further.
Today's Topic:
Are you satisfied with your feelings in the moment?
(Article with picture source network)