I have wine and tea, and if you have a story, come to me.
Click "Follow" above, and you are my person.
Anna Karenina: "People live for hope, because with hope, people have the courage to live." ”
Hope, also known as thoughts, is the spiritual force, or spiritual pillar, that supports a person's life.
If this spiritual pillar is given to a specific thing, it will make people more powerful.
For example, houses and deposits, if you give hope to this kind of thing, as a way out, as a chip to deal with difficult difficulties, you will live a confident life, you will not panic and live seriously, do not cause trouble and are not afraid of things, because you can hold on to the worst results.
Since these things are so important, they should definitely be firmly guarded, and they should not be confused and handed over to people, otherwise, it is easy to give them out, it is difficult to take them back, if you do not even have the strength to support your life, you will live in fear.
The reason why the woman below regards her house as so important is because she understands the above truths, and let's listen to her story together.
Hello Mr. Donglin:
When my parents first bought a house for me, they gave the house such a meaning: "No matter what happens, you must guard this house, because it is your way out, it is exclusive to your home." Any time, as long as there is it, you will not panic. ”
I agree with what my parents said, because I've always had an obsession: whether I get married or not, I have to have my own house, so that I will never be homeless or sent under the fence.
Later, the house was used as a dowry room when I got married. I redefined it again: if the marriage is happy, the house is left to my children, or as a tool for value-added; if the marriage is not happy, I am divorced, and I take it as my own way out.
These two meanings make me value it even more, and my husband often jokes that I value the house more than he does.
I thought the rest of my in-laws would respect me as much as he did and not fight my house. But this was not the case, and when our children were born, my mother-in-law began to beat up the idea of my house.
She volunteered to take care of my confinement and help me with my children, and I thought I had met a good mother-in-law. Who knows before long, she began to talk to me about the conditions: "I can't bring you children for free, you have to give me your dowry room, so that I will be mentally balanced and will feel that my efforts are meaningful." ”
I asked her, "According to what you say, shouldn't the mother-in-law who helps with the children ask her daughter-in-law for a house?" What if the daughter-in-law doesn't have a house? Do you have to force her to buy a new house for her mother-in-law? ”
She began to argue with me: "The daughter-in-law does not have a house, of course, the mother-in-law can not ask for things; but the situation of our family is that you have a house, which cannot be treated as if there is no house." Even if I don't help you with the children, I am your mother-in-law, and your dowry room must be given to me, because from the day you marry into the in-laws' house, your house does not belong to you. ”
I said I could give you money, but I would never give you the house: "If you insist on worrying about my house, I will not get a divorce." You pay for me, I can give you the corresponding remuneration, but if you want my house, it is definitely not OKAY, because the house is my retreat, my half life, which means a lot to me. ”
After listening to my words, she directly picked up the pick and asked me to immediately settle the bill with her: "I am not obliged to help you with the child, you give birth to yourself!" ”
I didn't want to argue with her, gave her the money and let her go, and then called my mom over.
My mother was about to settle accounts with my mother-in-law, but I stopped her: "What kind of person she is, I know now." There is no need to quarrel, and no matter how fierce the quarrel is, it cannot change the essence of her person. Turning over the face is just right, saving each of them wearing a mask and pretending to be fake. In the days to come, it will depend on how your son-in-law behaves. If he treats me well, I will live with him well; if he treats me badly, I will divorce him. ”
Once I was, sex was like a fire, if anyone made me unhappy, I would definitely fight with her to the end, until she begged for forgiveness and conceded defeat. But after having children, I changed, and fortunately I didn't become the person I hated.
I think it's good that I've become "measured" so that I can not be afraid of any difficulties and obstacles. I can't be angry with my husband because my mother-in-law is not good to me, as long as he continues to be good to me, I can do it to treat him differently from my mother-in-law.
I think that the relationship between husband and wife and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law cannot be confused, I should pay attention to the relationship between husband and wife, even if the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is completely broken, I don't care.
People always have to leave some hope for themselves, they always have to leave some head for themselves, don't they? If you ruin everything with a lifetime of anger and end up having to rebuild hope, it's a bit too much to lose, right?
Donglin Xiting Emotional Advice:
I think she has a good attitude to life and lives a very thorough life.
Although she did not say what her husband's attitude was later, combined with the situation she described, it is not difficult to judge that her husband and her mother-in-law are not the same kind of people.
She can live so transparently, of course, she will not be confused to choose a man to marry. It must be in the process of getting along, found that her husband is worthy of trust, so she will be assured to marry him.
In this case, there is a contradiction between her and her mother-in-law, and her husband should not blindly favor her mother-in-law. If he were such a person, with her intelligence, he would have found the clues long ago. Since there have been no bad times for her before, there will be no future.
If your marriage is also in this situation, I think the woman's attitude to life is worth your reference. As she said, do not confuse the relationship between husband and wife with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and do not destroy the relationship between husband and wife because there is a problem with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Although there is a voice that says, "Mother-in-law bullies daughter-in-law, all of them get the acquiescence of their sons", but this is not entirely the case. There are many men who do not want the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law more than women, they are also helpless, they can not treat their mothers, they can not be scolded, if they are angered by their wives, they will be very embarrassed.
Don't always say how powerful other people's husbands are, don't always say how a really good husband should be, marriage should always be "on the facts" to look at, blind comparison is meaningless. Only by combining the reality of your own marriage to deal with the problems can you keep the core of marriage, that is, the relationship between husband and wife. As long as this core is not destroyed, the rest is not a problem.