01
You must know that no matter what age a man is, he is always like a child who does not grow up, or a little boy who lives forever in his heart.
Blindly demanding that he take on all kinds of responsibilities, maybe as you wish, but ignoring the nature of the man, means that you will have a hard time getting into his heart.
Men are teenagers until they die.
See if you really entered his heart, in fact, as long as you look at this, he always makes you feel mature, or you can open yourself up and show the most childish side.
Nietzsche said:
"Women know children better than men, but men are more like children than women."
Only seeing men as men is not conducive to the establishment and development of intimate relationships, but it is easy to provoke wars between each other and directly stand against him. Therefore, you should first enter his heart, and then let him rely on this emotion to independently bear the family responsibility and marriage responsibility on his shoulders.
The way husband and wife get along, the way of marriage management, we always hear all kinds of truths and experiences, in fact, the most important point:
You should be the only person your spouse can be willful, and the home should also become the only place where your spouse can be willful.
Establishing a sense of security in the sense of belonging, and then cultivating a sense of dependence in the sense of belonging and security, this is the innermost need of people, first meet the most inner needs, in order to establish the most internal connection.
A happy marriage has never been able to manage it well by indulging emotions and personality. Many of the content is connected to interpersonal relationships and social responsibility, so it is not more than who understands, only earlier than who understands, grasps early, so that half the success.
02
Hearing the experience of a married woman is also the secret, the reason why she can be loved by her husband for a long time, and the brilliance of family life, mainly depends on a little.
"Never think of your husband as a man, think only of him as a child": The Wise Woman.
For example, when the husband is stressed, very lost, confused, depressed, you feel that he is a man, think of a big man can not have a vulnerable side, no matter what happens, should be strong, sunny, and even think he can do everything.
The result? You can't meet his inner needs, and in the long run, you will have the idea of fleeing through questioning.
If, on the other hand, you can comfort a child, encourage him, and support him as you would a child, for him, it is equivalent to being supported by the most generous force in the world.
From now on, the sense of dependence on you will become stronger and stronger, and occupy a unique place in his spiritual world.
So he must be more and more loving to you, surely more and more cherished, and finally form a virtuous circle, because in his spiritual world, your position can not be replaced by anyone.
In ordinary life, we must also think that he is a child, and never skimp on their praise.
Just like for a child, a word of approval, a word of praise, may affect his mood all day, or many days. A happy mood will also make him more active and enthusiastic no matter what he does, do not splash him with cold water.
Even the little things of washing dishes and changing light bulbs, because your praise can make him full of motivation.
The next time he encounters the same problem, he will take the initiative to stand up and solve it, after all, the good feeling that vanity is satisfied is something that no one can refuse.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't do a good job, you can still recognize and praise him when he knows he is not doing a good job, which will make him determined to correct and improve his own practices, because he does not want to lose the honor (top hat) above his head.
On the other hand, he already knows that he has not done a good job, but you still do not hesitate to accuse and count, then even if he knows that he is wrong, he will no longer think that he is wrong, and will immediately become an aggressive reptile, organizing various languages to refute you.
Next time, there will be a kind of angry psychology, can deal with it and is not willing to deal with it, you have to look at your skills, see how well you are doing.
The "praise" of men is the same, the so-called men rely on praise, women rely on coaxing.
The men who hold out are more and more confident, and they will become more and more excellent, and they can continue to improve themselves through your "praise", and dare to try and challenge.
All the children, or men, who are knocked out, will gradually become afraid of their hands and feet, too afraid of being labeled "useless" by you again.
03
Children, have a competitive heart, the more you are strong, the harder he is, the weaker you are, the softer he is. Therefore, as a wife, do not be too strong, otherwise you can only lose both, and there will be endless infighting between husband and wife.
To know how to retreat into the advance, first deliberately show weakness, which can well stimulate men's machismo and heroism.
For example, if you want him to come over and wash the dishes, whenever the tone of the command is used, the effect will be counterproductive, and quarrels will occur from emotions. Even if you can withstand the tone of your command, your heart must be uncomfortable, unhappy, and affect the efficiency of doing things.
What if you knew how to show weakness?
"I'm too busy to come, can you come over and help me brush the bowl out?" I believe most men will be happy.
Because in your weakness, there is an implicit need for him, which allows him to find his sense of existence and value to a great extent.
Even if you can, do the things that come, and want him to help you share the burden, you must show that you can't do it. Considering that you have always shown an omnipotent appearance in front of him, it is obvious that he does not feel that you need him, and naturally will not take the initiative to share.
Especially in the case that you are very strong, ask him to help, he is easy to ridicule you twice, then a quarrel is inevitable.
What men need most is the feeling of being needed. Only unintelligent women will often treat men with a "commanding" tone, which will only make men weaker and weaker, as well as emotionally repulsive and resistant to you.
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