1. The third aunt was hit by a Bentley on the road and became a vegetative person, and the owner lost more than 6 million yuan. After the third uncle got the money, he immediately got along with a 25-year-old flight attendant. Two people now

1. The third aunt was hit by a Bentley on the road and became a vegetative person, and the owner lost more than 6 million yuan. After the third uncle got the money, he immediately got along with a 25-year-old flight attendant. Now the two have been dating for more than half a year and plan to have a wedding. The flight attendant's parents said: Then the bride price is set at 600,000! The third uncle also agreed, and on the day of the engagement, the third uncle looked at both families with a dowry of 600,000 yuan: Isn't this dowry money from our family? Why do your parents also have 600,000? The flight attendant said with special grievance: My mother said that I married you to accumulate eight lifetimes of virtue, and you married me to pour eight lifetimes of mold, and the bride price can not let you out.

2. There is a young woman in the unit who is divorced, when she leaves work this night, she secretly stuffed a card for me, I walked to the place where no one was, it was a hotel room card. My heart skipped a beat, and I thought to myself, is this the legendary peach blossom luck? At this moment, the boss stopped me and told me to make a plan, which I would have tomorrow morning. I was resentful, but there was no way, who made her my boss? The boss Shi Shiran left the company, I thought for a moment, and found another female colleague, Ame, who has strong business ability, and if she is asked to help me do this plan, it will definitely be no problem. Ame smiled and said, is there a date at night? I smiled and said nothing, Ame nodded and said, if you want me to work overtime to help you, you give me two thousand yuan. I didn't say a word, and directly transferred two thousand yuan to her. She patted me on the shoulder and said, you go, the plan is handed over to me.

3. I found that the university was not very peaceful during this time, and there was a new project that needed to be clarified by the sociology research team. Their new question is: Why do so many successful men have lovers? Is it that successful men can't stand up to confusion? After a full year of survey sampling and anonymous interviews, they finally came to a conclusion. In fact, men can hardly stand to be confused, but women rarely confuse unsuccessful men.

4. When I brushed the short video today, I saw a comment that men wear women's clothes to show more body, I want to try. I secretly took the skirt that my daughter-in-law had not worn for many years and put it on my body. As a result, as soon as I turned around, I saw a shocked daughter-in-law! The daughter-in-law said that I chased her and married her to take advantage of her, for another purpose! No matter how I explained it, she beat me to death!

5. Since her sister-in-law got married, her weight has been increasing. Yesterday I asked my sister-in-law to have dinner together, and I was shocked to see her 200 pound figure. I couldn't help but say: "Before you got married, you only had 100 pounds, and now you are 200 pounds, are you going to be fat all the time?" The sister-in-law said, "Alas, I blame my husband for this!" I asked curiously, "You look so fat, is it related to your husband?" Sister-in-law: "When we got married that year, the average price of our bride price there was 30,000, and my father asked my husband for 100,000 yuan, and he felt very bad!" Me: "What does that have to do with your weight?" Sister-in-law: "When I grow to 300 pounds, won't he lose money!" ”

6. Son: Mom, I seem to be the worst of the few friends we grew up with! Wife: What's wrong? Son: Today we write homework together, in the same time, Xiaomei writes the most, Xiaoqiang arithmetic has the most, and Xiaoli has done the most handicrafts! Only I am behind in everything! Wife: Son, in fact, you have more! Son: Really? How did I not know? Wife: You have a lot of food, compared with a few of them, in the same day, you eat the most, and you pull the most!

7. The wife changes her number, calls her husband, and deliberately changes her voice: "Guess who I am?" ”

When the husband heard this, he immediately became happy and said, "My good sister, you are Xiaomei, right?" The wife was furious and restored her voice: "Who do you say is Xiaomei?" ”

The husband was shocked, and quickly changed his tone and said, "You guess! Who am I? ”

8. The pregnant wife wants to eat hairy crab, and I am constantly in the sand to the seafood market. The uncle who sold hairy crabs took a room scale and weighed it, immediately took it down, and said that he wanted 138 pieces. But I could clearly see 135 blocks on the scale. Anxious to go home to get food for his daughter-in-law, he did not argue with the uncle, so he took 150 yuan to the uncle. Uncle actually found 25 yuan, I think God opened his eyes, took the money and hurried away. When I got home, I gave myself a slap because the hairy crab forgot to take it!

9. After getting married, I bought a new house, and just moved in today, I invited my girlfriend to come and see it together. I was afraid that my girlfriend would not see it, so I opened the window, picked up the big fluorescent red panties of my husband who was basking on the balcony, waved them while shouting, look here, look here. After a long time, many people downstairs came to watch. I didn't see my girlfriend stop their car. It also caused a group of big aunts to talk about it at the bottom.

10. Yesterday I asked my wife for 200 yuan to buy a double foot to build, and my wife did not give it. The son next to him said, "Mom, the school will pay 200 yuan for books." "The wife gave it directly to her son, and then went to take a bath." My son stuffed the money into me and said, "Dad, this is what I lent you, and if I grow up and get married so badly, you must not forget me!" ”

11. Today is my big wedding day, the best hotel in our city. I was dressed in a luxurious custom suit of Zegna, and I was very emotional when I looked at her beautifully dressed in the same way. On the day of the blind date, she took her sister with me, and I took my eldest brother with me. As she was reminiscing about the past, she said, "Brother-in-law, treat my sister well, or I won't be able to spare you." I quickly said: I will definitely, thank my sister-in-law for coming to my wedding in her busy schedule.

12. When I was in high school, my dormitory especially liked the English teachers who had just arrived. In our dormitory, there is a rich second-generation brother who died in the house, and the family has set him a doll kiss since he was a child. It is said that the other party once helped his father when he was in trouble, even if the woman is now four or five years older than him, people don't mind. For three years in high school, he refused to show it to us. After the college entrance examination that year, he went home to inherit his father's business, and a year later he informed us that he was getting married. On the day of the drink, all the students stayed, and the bride was our English teacher! At the beginning, I was in the dormitory with yy English teachers, and this product also said the most and the most excessive!

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