1. My wife went abroad, there are only two people left in the family, my mother-in-law is 48 years old, the long charm still exists, because my father-in-law left early, so my mother-in-law has been single, mine

1. My wife went abroad, there are two people left in the family, my mother-in-law is 48 years old, the long charm is still there, because my father-in-law left early, so my mother-in-law has been single, my mother-in-law is in a company as a financial director, the ability is very outstanding, the income is also very high, so there are many bachelors who want to pursue my mother-in-law. But because my wife was not happy that her mother would find a stepfather for herself, she has always opposed her mother's remarriage. This time my wife went abroad, and many bachelors felt that there was an opportunity, and they all flocked to my house to propose to my mother-in-law. My mother-in-law was embarrassed to face such a scene, so she asked my son-in-law to come forward for her. In the end, I worked out of the shadows, selected the chairman of our company, and let him and my mother-in-law come together. Our chairman promised me that when he retired, the whole company would be taken care of by me. I'm so witty!

2. On the bus, I saw a 16- or 7-year-old girl being held by an uncle, and the girl said: Is it really good that you are a married man holding me, an unmarried woman, have you ever thought about your wife's feelings? The man said: Girl, is it good to save some face for your father! If you hadn't been motion sickness, I wouldn't have put my arms around you!"

3. Son: Mom, give me some money, my girlfriend is pregnant. Mom: Okay! Wait for my news tomorrow. The next day son: Mom, why hasn't the money arrived yet? Mother: Son, the wedding house, the wedding car, has bought the full money! Spot! Bring me back and get married! Your looks are good if someone wants to! Hurry up and get me back to get married!

4. Xiaoming: "This time I go to Sanya, Hainan, you must follow!" Xiao Gang: "Why?" How nice it is to lie down comfortably at home! Bob: "Because you can blow, with you must be cool!" ”

5. The sister-in-law of the old family in Hangzhou is a particularly gentle person, and the eldest nephew is spoiled by her and is particularly naughty. At lunchtime, my nephew had been making trouble at the dinner table. In order to show off her power as a parent in front of her sister-in-law, the mother directly dragged her nephew into the room to beat her. Before the nephew came out two seconds later, the sister-in-law asked in surprise, "Son, how can it be so fast?" The nephew replied: "Grandma took off my pants to beat my P shares, see that my P shares have no meat, and put my pants on me again!" ”

6. Yesterday I went to do business, saw a beautiful woman, and couldn't help but go up and talk to her. We had a great conversation, she kept helping me, and then within two minutes she turned her face to me. Unexpectedly, she actually asked for my bank card directly, saying that no, no. I thought, I can't give her anything! Then two security uncles came and dragged me out of the bank's office hall.

2. 7. The younger brother got too close to the boss lady in the company and was dismissed by the boss. Later, in the introduction of a friend to sell insurance, my brother was the first to fool my daughter-in-law to buy insurance, crackled and said a bunch, the daughter-in-law a head two big. Suddenly, my daughter-in-law pointed to my brother and said, "Okay, you just tell me how he lost more money than you did!"

8. Our department manager is a beautiful beauty who is about to run three. One day she took me to a client, and the client came up and put his arms around the manager with a drink. I just wanted to stop it, the manager made a gesture to show no harm, and then the drunken customer asked: Beauty, why are you so beautiful and not married? The manager said: When I was a child, I cut bananas, and I accidentally cut my hands, and I still have a scar! This brother didn't understand a bit, so he asked: What does the scar on his hand have to do with marriage? The manager smiled: So what does it have to do with you that I don't get married? And then there's an over-the-shoulder fall...

9. Sister Wang next door is a kindergarten teacher, and her son Duoduo is three and a half years old this year. White and tender, silly and cute, the brakes are loved. I gave him a snack and teased him, "How's uncle?" "A lot of sweet mouth, milk said milky: "Good! Good! So I continued to ask, "Where is my uncle?" The little guy was stunned for a moment, showed a silly smile, and said loudly: "Uncle is so good!"

10. Recently, I have inexplicably felt that my hair volume seems to be sparse. Especially when you wake up every morning, you will find yourself with a lot of hair on your pillow. So I quickly went online to find out how to cure hair loss. The girlfriend saw it and said: You should first check how to cure snoring. Me: Is snoring related to hair loss? Her: You don't snore and argue with me, why do I pull your hair? I......

11. Take my father-in-law and mother-in-law on a trip during the holidays, and I am full of dedication along the way. Later, when I went to the mall, my mother-in-law saw a necklace of 88888 yuan. She seemed to like it in particular, but looked at the price and hesitated. Shopping guide: Auntie, you look rich, wearing this necklace is particularly expensive. My mother-in-law looked at me, smiled and said: I am fat because my son-in-law is filial piety, what to buy, I am fat with a wide heart. At this time, the father-in-law could not see it, and said: What kind of heart is wide and fat, you can eat, hurry up.

12. I bought a BMW 7 Series at the 4s store, and today my wife drove a new car to her ex-boyfriend's wedding. I was playing LOL at home, operating the new Yong'en, and my wife suddenly called. She said, "Husband, I have good news and bad news on my side, which one do you want to listen to first?" I said, "Tell me the good news first." Wife: "Okay, I found that the airbag in your car really worked, and it just came in handy and saved my life!" The bad news doesn't need me to say you know it, right? ”

13. After my divorce, I moved out of the house, found a small house to rent, and since then, it is quite comfortable to be free and alone. I didn't expect that the person who rented the house to me was a young woman, she took a fancy to me at a glance, came to harass me every day, either invited me to dinner, or invited me to watch movies, and kept buying all kinds of gifts for me, so that I couldn't help it, and finally I couldn't help it, so I said to her, you want to be my girlfriend, and finally marry me, but you must promise me a condition, she smiled and asked me what is the condition? I said you take five hundred million out, I will be your husband, did not expect that she added my friend, directly transferred seven hundred million to me, I was stunned, there is no way, had to go to marry her!