1, the neighbor bought two pounds of pig intestines, smell very smelly, she washed the pig intestines at home, actually open the door, so I discussed with him, asked him to wash the pig intestines can not be

1, the neighbor bought two pounds of pig intestines, smell very smelly, she washed the pig intestines at home, actually open the door, so I discussed with him, ask him to wash the pig intestines when can you close the door? But he said very rudely that I am in my family west pig intestine about you, you have to feel smelly, you can also go to buy stinky things to smoke me, then I got angry, ran out to buy snail powder, durian and stinky tofu, and then crouched in front of the neighbor's house, eat a lot of food, and finally I and the neighbor both of them threw up wow, this is really hurt the enemy 1000, self-damage 800 ah!

2, take the dividend just given by the company, take your girlfriend's parents to dinner. If I had eaten well, I would have stepped through the door of my girlfriend's house. At the time of checkout, in order to show off in front of the mother-in-law, he gave the money to the waiter and said that he did not need to look for it. As a result, the waiter came to say that mr. sorry was not enough, and in an instant my expression was so solidified.

3, at night with my parents a few words, angrily threatened to run away from home! My stupid dog, who was lying on his stomach under my feet, suddenly came to the spirit, stood up on the ground, and ran to get my shoes on topsy-turvy! I usually treat it not thin ah...

4, the female manager of our company, before dating a rich second-generation boyfriend as a driver, so she has not bought a car, nor driven a car. But not long ago, her rich second-generation boyfriend found a new love, dumped her, she bought a Maybach drive in a huff, and she couldn't even reverse the car. So I saw the opportunity to help her every day when she had difficulty parking, hoping that one day she would be accepted as the main room. A month later, I finally became her driver...

5, pick up the little niece home from school, the mother took the bag and said to the little niece: Big granddaughter, grandma just ate all your snacks. The little niece thought for a moment and said: It's okay, when I have eaten, let my father buy it for me, buy more and eat with my grandmother. The mother was very happy, and then took out a large bag of snacks from the cupboard and gave it to the little niece to eat. When he was finished, he turned to me and said, "Boy, I've eaten the spicy strips you hid." I thought to myself how the old man could eat this, it must be amusing me, so I said: Eat it, I will buy it again. But when I went back to the house and pulled the drawer, I found that the whole drawer of spicy strips was gone! ......

6, it snows today, it is very cold, and I leave work at night. Fangfang was wrapped in the arms of the second brother and sent to the car to pick her up... Girlfriend Xinxin was wrapped in the arms of the third brother and sent to the car to pick up... What about me? Dad handed me a hot roasted sweet potato...

7, one day on the road met an old lady touching porcelain! You don't have to ask for money to say anything! I'm in a hurry! I think back to the very good skills in the paragraph! So he picked up the phone and pretended to call: Dad! Give me a half a million on the card! I'm going to kill someone. At this time, the old lady slapped me on the ground with a big slap! What is rich and handsome to drive an electric car? And then! I lay calmly on the ground!

8, yesterday, my mother called and asked me to help her clean up. While cleaning up the kitchen, I slipped my hand and broke a large fish plate. Mom asked me to pay her a set of beautiful colored porcelain plates... After a while, Dad handed me less than half a bottle of Moutai and asked me to put it on the wine cabinet. I was just about to pick it up, only to see my father let go of his hand, and the bottle fell to the ground and shattered!! Now, Dad asked me to pay him two bottles of Maotai... Say I don't care about my work! I seriously suspect that the half bottle contains two pots of water!!!

9, to apply for a driver, the boss is a woman, more than forty years old, did not talk about anything, said a little homely, and work experience, and then the boss gave me a bottle of nutrition express, I said not to drink, and then the boss took a bottle of rock sugar Sydney, I also said not to drink, and finally the boss gave me a cigarette, I took over, and then the boss said not to recruit drivers, just invited me away from the office, making me confused

10, in the field of college, it is rare to go home once a holiday. After dinner in the evening, dad asked: Do you want to get rich overnight? I was surprised to think, what treasure did Mo Feizu pass down, and My father was ready to hand it over to me today? Hurriedly replied: Of course I want to! Then that night, I slept with my father in my arms!

11, Xiaoming: "Wow, how did your face swell so much?" Xiao Le: "Alas, when I was rowing with my father yesterday, I was bitten by a mosquito... Xiaoming: "It's so swollen, you must have been bitten by it for a long time, right?" Xiao Le: "It's not very long, it just stopped in my face, and I was killed by my father with a paddle." Bob: "!!! ”

12, see the circle of friends sister sent a dynamic said to accompany a male Oba injection, suddenly feel that the man is so happy, I think more about a disease and then call a girl to accompany me to the injection ah. But God didn't give me a chance at all, think about the last time I had a cold or in the first grade of junior high school, my body is better than a dog.

13. After graduating from the medical school of Zhejiang University, the brother-in-law went to a spiritual hospital as an intern doctor. The brother-in-law asked the dean: How to judge that a mentally ill person has been cured? The dean said: Let the patient go to the pool, give him a basket and a cup, and let him clean up the water in the pool. The brother-in-law surnamed Fen said: Those who are cured will use a cup. The dean looked at the brother-in-law with strange eyes: No, the cured one will pull the plug off.

14, life tips: write your home address and your usual time at home on the card, and then hang it on the key chain. If you accidentally lose your keys, it will be easier for the person who found you to find you and return it to you. 11 weeks J4 years old to learn piano, primary school to learn to write songs, while working while participating in the draft, debut has been adhering to his own unique style of high-quality creation, he can succeed is certainly inseparable from self-discipline. So even someone so disciplined as he can't quit milk tea, how can I quit?