Friend's surname is Hu, he recently got a son, and he was promoted to be a father. His wife and son went to his mother-in-law's house these two days and are about to return. So he sent a circle of friends and said: On Wednesday, he will take Niangniang and the prince back to the palace, pre-

Friend's surname is Hu, he recently got a son, and he was promoted to be a father. His wife and son went to his mother-in-law's house these two days and are about to return. So he sent a circle of friends and said: Take Niangniang and the prince back to the palace on Wednesday, and expect to return on Friday. A friend commented: Okay, Hu Gonggong, the matter of decay will bother you

2, pay attention to her for a long time, she is wearing a cool sitting on the side of the road drinking, you can see that she has a heart, I want to know such a mysterious woman, and she also drank a lot, looking at the people around the chunchun, I feel that I can no longer hesitate, plucked up enough courage to go forward and asked: "Girl, do you want the wine bottle you have drunk?" ”

3. A club has won the lols10 qualification, and the team must bring a substitute. But the substitute was afraid of carrying the pot, so he didn't want to go to the game, so he lied that he was suddenly blind! The coach put the Australian lobster in front of him and asked, "Can you see it?" The bench replied, "No! The coach angrily said, "Still lying? The saliva is flowing out, and you still say you can't see it? ”

4, There is a profession in New Zealand called "sheep supporter". Australian sheep really get wet with rain or stuck in branches because their wool falls, and they can't get up when they fall, and they need someone to help them up. Sheep oil that everyone likes to buy in Australia is actually a kind of oil secreted on wool, which has a certain waterproof effect.

5, last night on a whim, went to the barbershop and shaved his head. Unspeakably cool, sell breakfast this morning. The beautiful lady came to buy breakfast: "Bald brother! I want an egg sausage powder and a small half bowl of white porridge, ah! How did you go bald again overnight! "Then the people who came to breakfast didn't ask what breakfast was for today, they all came to ask me how I went bald overnight...

6, saw a girl run to the breakfast restaurant and said a long paragraph to the boss. The boss gave me five buns, three beef, a leek egg, a chicken juice soup, and a cup of purple rice porridge, remember today to give me a straw ah, yesterday did not give me a hot SI, forget it, replace the beef with three fresh bar, oh the shuttle is coming, I don't want it! "Before the boss could react, the girl was gone!

7. Why is there no love in fairy tales? Because the prince is fighting the city management, the princess is defending against yamaki. Frogs are all cooked in Sichuan restaurants, and witches fail to compete for jobs and are taken away with brooms. In the end, the prince finally defeats Ultraman and lives happily with the little monster. Seven dwarfs dug coal in Shanxi and did not catch the wedding.

8, my mother urged me to find a girlfriend every day, there was really no way, I handed her a photo of Fan Bingbing and said: "This is my girlfriend." She grabbed the photo, looked at it carefully for half a minute, frowned and said, "If you don't look for it, don't look for it, why should you lie to me with the photos of my youth?" ”

9. Junior high school students have just been exposed to physics classes and find physics difficult to learn. The physics teacher was teaching physics learning methods in class when suddenly a student let out a fart. The teacher listened, frowned and said: "Students, physics is difficult to learn, but you can still learn well, don't be discouraged!"

10, my boyfriend and I plan to get married, I asked my parents how much bride price I want him to pay, my parents only said to do what they can. I hesitated and said, "The conditions in his home are average, is the 500,000 dowry OK?" Dad frowned when he heard this, and Mom immediately narrowed his smile. I quickly added: "He is planning to start a business, and it is precisely when he needs money, and the 500,000 bride price is already very reluctant." Can't you be considerate? Just said to do what you can, how to regret it in the blink of an eye? Dad coughed twice, looked at me strangely, and he solemnly said, "Daughter, our family can't take money with bad conscience!" On your terms... I don't deserve it! ”

1 I finally became a father, and my wife asked, "Is the child's birth certificate ready?" I replied: "It has been done, you don't know that I was still worried when I did it, you said that our marriage certificates are wrinkled like that, I am afraid that others will see the joke." Then the wife asked doubtfully, "What about later?" I replied: "I see that the brother's marriage certificate in front of me has become a puzzle, which makes me feel relieved, and I guess those two mouths are not less tossed!" ”

12, usually I especially like to brush the circle of friends, forward various articles and other things, the frequency is still very high. Once ate at home, after eating, I sent ten circles of friends in a row. My dad saw it and frowned and said to me: Girl, don't send something nutritious all day long in your circle of friends! I was very unhappy to ask: Dad, can't your circle of friends stew big bone broth every day?

13. In ancient times, when a foreign emissary came to the mainland to offer treasures, the emperor asked, "What is the offering?" The messenger said: "This object is a rare treasure of the mainland ' three-colored jewel'" The emperor "What is a 'three-colored jewel'" The messenger carefully and respectfully offered the treasure, explaining: "If this pearl is cut with a knife, the outside is brown, the middle is white, and the inside is yellow-red." Therefore, it is called 'three-colored jewel', which is extremely rare" After the emperor ordered someone to present it, he looked at it carefully for half a day and smiled: "This is not a salted duck egg!" ”

14, we once engaged in the jewelry industry business giant crocodile, and now has been diagnosed with advanced cancer. He had two sons, and he was very relieved, and just when he was dying, he just called two of them and brought a box of jewelry. Then he said to the two of them: You two should distinguish between the real and false jewels, and whoever picks out the real jewelry will give it to whomever is multi-property! Early in the morning, Da Erzi began to carefully select, and Er'erzi also went after carefully studying the jewelry identification treasure. In the evening, sure enough, the two sons chose more. The rich man thought for a long time and said to ererzi: The family property is given to your eldest brother, anyway, you are so capable!