1. Female colleagues went to withdraw money, took ten thousand and vomited fifty thousand, she looked up at the monitoring! Counted ten thousand in the bag, and the rest was put on the cabinet and left! Half a month later, I received the head of the legal department of the bank

1. The female colleague went to withdraw the money, took ten thousand and vomited fifty thousand, she looked up at the monitor! Counted ten thousand in the bag, and the rest was put on the cabinet and left! Half a month later, I received a call from the head of the legal department of the bank, saying that I had gone to the court to sue him! The roommate scornfully said: "I just passed the judicial examination this year, I didn't take the money, and I have no obligation to keep it for you!" The supervisor was silent for a moment: "What you took away is the ten thousand of our bank, and the ten thousand that remains is yours." ”

2. Because I was ugly, I decided to study well and change my fate with knowledge. During the college entrance examination, I scored more than 700 points and went to Beijing to study as I wished. When I got out of class this day, it was raining heavily, and I saw the girl on the side throwing her umbrella into the trash can. Walking over to the male god shyly said, "I don't have an umbrella with me, can you take me with you?" "How can I bear this kind of thing, I immediately picked up the umbrella and handed it to my sister." Then he said, "Sister, it's not easy for your family to earn money, so how can you throw away an umbrella?"

3. After the girlfriend broke up with her boyfriend and found out that she was pregnant, my wife and I decided to let the girlfriend give birth to the baby. The wife spent 20 yuan to buy three native chickens that can lay eggs and put them at home to raise, ready to supplement the nutrition of the girl. Recently, the weather has become hot, and one chicken has not laid eggs for a week and is still in low spirits. So I called and asked the veterinarian buddies, is this chicken suffering from heat stroke? He said to come and see what was going on after work. In the evening, he took a knife and carried wine and said that he had come to help my family chicken cure the disease!!

4. Yesterday it was late from work, and I walked slowly to the canteen of the unit to eat. When I went to the canteen to prepare for dinner, I found that there were only a few people in the canteen. When I finished eating, it suddenly rained heavily, and I looked up at the sky, and I estimated that I would not be able to stop for a while and a half. I grumbled: It rained so much, if any woman gave me an umbrella, I would give myself a promise. After a minute, the canteen aunt packed up and prepared to leave work. Seeing that I was still sheltering from the rain, he said: Boy, this umbrella is for you, I will pay it back tomorrow, I still have a raincoat on my motorcycle.

5. The brother fell in love with his sister-in-law at first sight, and finally flashed the marriage and returned from the honeymoon, and the two of them made a big fuss about the divorce. Mom said, "As for divorce, how big a deal?" Brother: "She hid the past!" Mom said, "Huh? Have you ever been divorced before? Brother: "Worse than that!" She won awards in taekwondo in the province! Mom also said helplessly: "Why did you go earlier!" ”?

6. After graduation, I didn't find a good job, so I went to deliver food. A few days ago, my colleague took an order, and there may be any conditions, so I went to find the lead. After careful consideration, the leader gave me the single. I looked at the notes and fell into despair. Remarks write: I am not at home, to the girlfriend to call the takeaway, please send the ugliest takeaway brother to send, I am afraid that the takeaway is too handsome to hook up with my girlfriend! Remember to be the ugliest! Otherwise bad reviews!

7. The next-door neighbor is a girl who gives a special assistant to the boss at a large company. Usually, when her things are broken, she will ask me to help repair them. Today the water pipe in her house was broken, and I was operating there, and she took the tool to assist me. I reached out and said: Hammer. She handed me the hammer, and I reached out again and said: Tongs. She handed me a fifty piece, I was confused at the time, such a stupid girl, do I want to chase her in the end!!

8. This morning I was in a hurry to work when I was suddenly slammed from behind and fell to the ground. Climbing up and looking back, a bicycle overturned and fell to the ground. Lying next to a girl, she endured the pain while standing up and apologizing to me: I'm sorry, I just fell asleep and didn't see you. Me: Sister, how sleepy you have to be, I am embarrassed to be angry with her when she falls asleep.?

 #Funny##Funny paragraph# #今日笑料 #