Some argue that it is a legal obligation for a daughter-in-law to take care of and support her in-laws. In fact, this view is not correct, and anyone with a little legal knowledge will understand that the current laws, including the Civil Code, do not stipulate that the daughter-in-law has the responsibility and obligation to take care of and support the in-laws.
The Civil Code provides that during the existence of the conjugal relationship, the spouse of the dependent shall assist the dependent in fulfilling the maintenance obligation. This means that for the care of the in-laws, the son is the main responsibility, and the daughter-in-law only needs to fulfill the "auxiliary" obligation, the same is true for the father-in-law and mother-in-law.
The daughter-in-law's care for and support for her in-laws is a voluntary act of the daughter-in-law, not a moral kidnapping of "you marry into my family, you are born into my family, and death is the dead person in my family".
The law emphasizes the reciprocity of duties and rights, parents raise their children to adulthood, is to fulfill their due obligations, and to accept the care and support of children in old age is to enjoy the rights they deserve. Similarly, children are raised by their parents when they are minors, and it is also an obligation to take care of and support their elderly parents when they reach adulthood.
The daughter-in-law is not related by blood to the in-laws, in fact, if it is not a marriage relationship, there will be no relationship between the daughter-in-law and the in-laws. Although the daughter-in-law and the in-laws are in the same family, the in-laws have not fulfilled their responsibility for the care of the daughter-in-law, and the daughter-in-law cannot legally have the duty of care and support to the in-laws.
The in-laws who were deeply influenced by the feudal tradition had a misunderstanding in their understanding, they felt that when their daughter-in-law married her son, she would shoulder the responsibility of passing on the family lineage, and should obey the will of the mother-in-law and serve the whole family unconditionally. When they are old and infirm, they have the right to let their daughter-in-law and son take care of them together, and in their eyes, the daughter-in-law must obey the interests and needs of the whole family, and it is a matter of course to serve the family members.
Daughter-in-law is raised by their parents to work hard, when they go to society to create value independently, because they are married, they are used by their in-laws as tools to continue incense, clean up the housework, and call around, but also to work hard and complain, can not complain, the in-laws have not only got the name of their parents, but also enjoy the daughter-in-law's unpaid care of the truth, and at ease, the daughter-in-law is slightly sluggish or makes mistakes, she is put on the hat of filial piety by the in-laws, which is obviously a cheap and tyrannical mentality.
If a daughter-in-law marries only to serve another family for free, to pass on and take care of her in-laws who are not related to her by blood, and to be called as a maid, then what is the point of her marriage? And not the Virgin.
Let's look at two cases with different endings.
1. The in-laws refuse to take care of their daughter-in-law's pregnancy and childbirth, resulting in the daughter-in-law parting ways
Ms. Liu's husband is the only son in the family, and the two lived with their in-laws after marriage. The in-laws are proud of their hard work in raising their sons, and they are unwilling to pay anything to the family, even before and after Ms. Liu's childbirth, the in-laws are hiding outside and playing in the mountains and enjoying themselves. Ms. Liu usually not only has to work, but also pulls her young son and undertakes all the housework, and her husband often travels for business because of his work relationship, and rarely asks about family affairs.
Ms. Liu's forbearance did not exchange for her husband's touch and understanding, after the in-laws were old and weak, the husband pushed the obligation to take care of her parents to Ms. Liu on the grounds of busy work, Ms. Liu worked during the day, took care of her in-laws at night, tutored the children's study, tired and physically and mentally exhausted. Unable to bear it, she quarreled with her husband, but the in-laws tried their best to protect their sons, accusing her of filial piety, and Ms. Liu, who was heartbroken, was no longer willing to take care of her in-laws, and finally parted ways with her husband and husband.
"Take it in advance, you must give it first", for the in-laws, if you want your daughter-in-law to treat yourself well in the future, you must first treat your daughter-in-law well in the present, and give your daughter-in-law care and help in the case of your ability, and your daughter-in-law can help your son to take care of and support them in the future.
2. The mother-in-law treats the daughter-in-law like a biological daughter, and the daughter-in-law is willing to saddle the front and back of the sick mother-in-law
Unlike Ms. Liu's situation, Ms. Zhang's father-in-law died early, and her mother-in-law pulled up her husband and brother alone. Ms. Zhang lived with her mother-in-law after marriage. The mother-in-law is industrious and kind, treats people sincerely, and loves Ms. Zhang like her own daughter.
Once Ms. Zhang had a cold and fever, her husband could not rush back from other places, and her mother-in-law waited in front of the bed and took good care of her for a day and a night. Usually take the initiative to cook and take care of the grandson to do housework, for Ms. Zhang to reduce a lot of burden, for which Ms. Zhang is grateful to the mother-in-law, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along well, close as mother and daughter.
Mother-in-law is weak after old age, often bedridden, because the husband often works overtime, Ms. Zhang has been waiting carefully in front of the bed day and night, when the mother-in-law is sick, Ms. Zhang has been accompanied by her mother-in-law from the hospital to the discharge, and she has been inseparable, so that the mother-in-law is very moved. On the day of Ms. Zhang's fortieth birthday, her mother-in-law took out a family heirloom gold bracelet worth 100,000 yuan and personally put it on Ms. Zhang's hand.
"Give people roses, hands have residual incense", there must be a return for paying, in a mutual respect and mutual love, harmony and friendly family, it is not about legal responsibilities and obligations, but about family affection and responsibility. Although the daughter-in-law has no legal obligation to take care of and support the in-laws, if the in-laws are sincere and friendly to the daughter-in-law and do not treat her as a nanny, a fertility machine, or an outsider, the daughter-in-law takes the initiative to help her husband take care of the in-laws, which is also a very common behavior in China.
The wife's dedication and responsibility to take care of and support her in-laws must not be an excuse for the son to avoid fulfilling his obligations, and the son should assume the main responsibility of taking care of and supporting his parents in order to live up to the parents' nurturing grace.
In addition to the affection for the in-laws, the wife takes care of and supports the in-laws, but also the love and understanding of the husband, in other words, it is to take the initiative to share the burden on the husband, to exchange hearts for hearts, to exchange affection, the husband should also take the initiative to help when the wife's parents need to be taken care of, in order to live up to the wife's affection.