"I'm away, I'm definitely leaving!"
"Xu Zheng is a person on the surface, but in fact he is a wolf.
I had two previous girlfriends, both of whom had been beaten away by him.
The reason why his parents accepted Xiao Jie was because Xiao Jie was divorced and was five years older than him and could tolerate him. ”
The hit drama "Xiao MinJia" is finally about to usher in the finale, and Liu Xiaojie, who is distressed by netizens, has also made up his mind to divorce.
And this is not the first time.
Flash marriage, flash divorce, flash marriage, and flash divorce, this is the marital status of Liu Xiaojie, played by Tang Yixin, in the TV series "Xiao Min Family".
Her first husband, a mother-in-law man, had no own opinions and listened to her mother's words in everything;
Her second husband, who was extremely controlling, confiscated her cell phone, computer, and even imprisoned her at home.
Is Liu Xiaojie's life too unfortunate? Always meet scumbags.
I think it's more because she never got to know someone well and rushed into marriage.
As Liu Xiaojie's mother said in the play:
"Have suffered a loss once, have not remembered sex, marriage such a big thing, you can be sloppy, first cut and play later, you don't forget, and you are closest to me and your sister." 」
We always say that marriage should be slow and divorce should be fast.
It is to remind us that we should leave time for ourselves to understand a person, rather than being urged by our relatives and age to step into the besieged city of marriage.
You know, in marriage, who you are with is really different.
Being with the wrong people not only consumes our emotions and body and mind, but also carries unpredictable risks.
Therefore, I still want to say that before starting a marriage, please slow down a little, if you do not understand the other party's 3 points, do not easily enter the marriage.
I have heard a saying: "To see if a person is suitable for marriage, go to see his parents more." ”
When you think about it, it is.
After all, parents play a very important role in our lives.
Their habits, education styles, and even personality traits will have an indelible impact on us.
Just like Liu Xiaojie in "Xiaomin's Family", her first failed marriage has a lot to do with the man's parents.
Liu Xiaojie's first husband, Tong Bing, met when playing games, and it didn't take long to get married.
After marriage, Liu Xiaojie found that her husband was a mother treasure man, who had no opinion of his own, and listened to his mother's words in everything.
The words that often hang on the lips are: "My mother said", "My mother told me how to do".
It is said that behind every mom and man, there is a mother who is controlling and unwilling to let go.
As it turns out, it is.
Liu Xiaojie's former mother-in-law not only interfered excessively in their conjugal life, but also instructed her son to steal private money.
Liu Xiaojie, who couldn't bear it, chose to divorce.
Just a few days after the divorce, her ex-husband Tong Bing asked Liu Xiaojie for a wedding ring, on the grounds that "my mother wants me to come back." ”
What is even more excessive is that without Liu Xiaojie's permission, they broke into the room without authorization, rummaging through boxes and cabinets and searching for valuable things.
After being bumped into by Liu Xiaojie, the former mother-in-law also said with a straight face: "I take my son's things, the police can't control it!" ”
American family therapy guru Satya said:
"A person's personality characteristics, three views of life, and way of thinking are deeply influenced by his original family."
Yes, a person's performance in marriage is hidden in his original family.
Therefore, if we want to know whether a person is suitable for marriage, we may as well go to his home and take a walk.
Go and see his parents, to understand his parents' patterns of getting along, and how he got along with them.
Because, a woman chooses to marry, not to marry a person, but to marry a family.
The quality of the family will affect the harmony of marriage and the happiness of each other.
There is a law of attraction in psychology, which is simply:
What kind of person you are, you will attract what kind of people; what kind of people you are close to, you will become what kind of people.
That is to say, people often say, "Things are clustered in groups, and people are divided into groups."
What a person looks like, you can judge it by looking at his circle of friends.
So, to get to know a person, you can first see how his friends are.
If he is often with friends who pursue self-motivation and are reliable, then he will also pursue the future, and his character will not be too bad.
If, around him, is a group of friends who are not enterprising and lazy, then he is likely to belong to this type.
There is a question on the Internet: "Do you have fox friends around your husband?" ”
One of the answers goes like this:
"Don't know his people, look at his friends first." Your husband has fox friends, in fact, there is a high probability that he himself is also such a person. ”
To confirm this, she shared her story.
She said that she hated her ex-boyfriend's fox friends, who had no culture and would only eat, drink, gamble and smoke.
But her ex-boyfriend said at every turn that this is all his small hair, the relationship is particularly iron, and there is no way to break off the relationship.
Later, she found out that her ex-boyfriend was like those who were small, gambling, singing k, clubbing, nibbling on the old, and everything did not fall.
And she never worried that her current boyfriend would be like this, because her current boyfriend hated this kind of person more than she did.
The ancients once said, judge their friends and argue with others.
The more you experience, the more you will discover:
A person's circle of friends is actually a reflection of a person.
What kind of person you are, you will be attracted to what kind of people, and you will take the initiative to choose what kind of friends.
I believe that every woman hopes to find a partner with good character, steadfastness and kindness, and walk hand in hand for the rest of her life.
So, instead of blindly searching and betting on his character, it is better to understand his social circle and how his friends are.
Because what kind of person he is, his circle of friends is like that.
There is a saying like this:
"When a woman is young, she wants to marry love, and when she is a little older, she hopes to marry a rich person, and then when she matures, she knows that what she wants to marry is character, responsibility, and responsibility." 」
Yes, when you are young, you yearn for romance, and you can do it for love. But after being hurt several times in a relationship, I gradually understood:
Character is a man's biggest hole card.
Men with good character will not regard feelings as a child's play, will not hold on to the past, will not disturb the life of the ex, and even say bad things about the ex.
Some time ago, my cousin went on a blind date.
The other party is a courier, although the income is not high, but the job is at least stable, it looks quite suitable for life.
In the course of the chat, my cousin asked about his mate selection criteria.
He said that girls who don't like too material things only have money in their eyes and nothing else.
Immediately after, he talked about his ex-girlfriend.
In his description, the ex-girlfriend not only has a bad temper, but also loves money, spends his money all day, let him send red envelopes at every turn, and makes trouble with him without sending red envelopes.
The reason for the breakup is also because the ex-girlfriend thinks he is poor, for money, abandoned their feelings for more than 3 years, and got along with a rich second generation.
My cousin was a little disappointed after listening to it, and after the meal, she broke off contact with him.
Regarding the predecessor, the host Meng Fei said a classic passage:
"Both sides should not go around saying bad things about their predecessors after turning the page, and they are particularly bad, and I think the most important point is not to denigrate them."
It would be nice if we were done, but you don't want to say in any of the opposite sex or the common circle how this person is. ”
Many times, we often can't do it, and then make friends after breaking up.
But at least you can let go, let go of the people of the past, let go of the things of the past.
Not speaking evil words, not arbitrarily slandering, and remaining silent is a kind of decency, but also a kind of respect.
Because a man's attitude towards his ex is the embodiment of other people's character.
And any feeling to the end, the test is also the character.
In addition to the above, I would like to share a few tips for understanding each other's personality:
1. Look at his attitude toward strangers.
Strangers and their interests are not related, attitudes toward stakeholders depend on IQ and emotional intelligence, and attitudes toward uncorrelated people depend on quality and cultivation.
A person's attitude toward strangers reflects both his upbringing and his character.
2. Look at his attitude towards his family.
Angry with outsiders and irritable with relatives, such a person's character will not be much better.
If such a person is your partner, then he will do the same to you. After all, the family will not leave easily, so no matter how big the temper is, there will be no concern.
3. Look at his attitude towards money.
How good a person's character is, depends on when he and you have a conflict with money. He is a ploy, calculating everywhere, or a quotient, not greedy, not calculating.
The attitude towards money can often truly reflect a person's character and pattern.
Sukhomlinsky once said: "When you marry in a hurry, you are willing to risk becoming an unfortunate person." ”
Before deciding to marry, every woman should polish her eyes and see the character of her lover.
Don't just focus on the beauty of love, don't rush into marriage when you don't know each other.
We can slow down a little, and slow down a little more slowly, than blindly start a marriage.
A quote from the collection:
"In this life, people will encounter countless times of love, and it is the right way to choose the one that is most suitable for themselves from these countless times."
Marriage is a lifelong event for a woman, or slow down and give yourself some time to choose.
To get to know each other's parents, to understand his circle, to understand his character, and finally decide whether to hug each other together until they are old.
If you are not prepared, if you do not fully understand each other, do not easily enter the palace of marriage.
Because, the more afraid of trouble to understand the marriage, the more time is wasted on each other after marriage.
Don't settle down, don't dwell on it, have expectations for marriage, love for life, be gentle for the rest of your life, and be happy and beautiful.
The author | Carrie's sister, who has never given up love and freedom all her life.
The anchor | Xia Meng, warm your bedtime time with my voice.
Pictures | Visual China, Network (if there is infringement, please contact to delete)