I don't know if you have found a helpless phenomenon, there are more and more elderly unmarried young men around us, especially in rural areas, which has become a common phenomenon.
A while ago, I accompanied my husband back to my hometown to attend a wedding, the son of a relative got married, and the family conditions were counted in the village, but I didn't marry my daughter-in-law until I was 28 years old.
When I inquired about the bride price, it was simply shocking, but this was also a consummation, a few big and small guys of the same age as relatives and sons, and several people who could not find objects, several nearby villages, just a few boys playing bare sticks.
This is also the result of the general outbreak of the sequelae of son preference in previous years, desperately giving birth to boys, that is, the boy's marriage has become a major difficulty.
The demographic problem is actually a marriage problem
In recent years, the birth rate of the mainland population has continued to decline, and everyone feels that it is caused by small couples who do not want to have a second child, but being able to get married and have children has been the biggest norm, and there are two kinds of people, which also directly reduce the birth of children.
In fact, the population problem is a marriage problem, some people can not get married, either can not find a partner, or face the high cost of marriage is prohibitive, and some people, do not want to get married, hold celibacy for a lifetime, do not marry where the children come from, which has become a more difficult problem.
The more boys there are, the easier it is for girls to marry? The answer is no
Statistics, in the future, there will be 30 million men left on the mainland, some people say that there are more boys in society, and the boys around girls grab a big handful, isn't it easy to get married? But it turns out that the girls around us are also getting more and more difficult to marry, what is the reason? There is also a direct relationship with too many boys.
1. The criteria for female mate selection have changed
With the further establishment of equality between men and women, coupled with the development of productive forces, we have long passed the era of male farming and female weaving, and the social role of men has slowly deteriorated, resulting in women's dependence on men becoming weaker and weaker.
Nowadays, the marriage market dominated by women, coupled with the role of star demonstration and guidance, girls' education level is getting higher and higher, and the requirements for the partners around them will become higher and higher, when reality and ideals cannot stand on the same level, girls will prefer to be lacking.
They are not married for the sake of marriage, nor are they trying to satisfy their parents' wishes, they are more for their own sake, they do not want to be in the unwanted marriage, and therefore, while there are still more and more boys left, there are more and more women leftovers.
2. Raise the cost of marriage
I have to say that it is more and more difficult for boys to marry their daughters-in-law, before it was a boy to a girl, now it is two boys to a girl, and more monks and less porridge will inevitably be expensive in Luoyang, which directly leads to an increase in the cost of marriage.
Once this trend grows, it will upset the balance of the marriage market, making many ordinary families daunted, and marrying a daughter-in-law has become a risk of ruin, but with it, the divorce rate has increased.
Therefore, girls hold the idea that things are rare and expensive, and boys are afraid, not because they don't want to marry, but because they can't afford to marry, but once the bride price standard is lowered, the parents of their daughters also feel that they have suffered losses, and they have worked hard to raise their daughters to grow up, so why should they reduce their self-worth? The two sides formed a confrontational situation, and the girl's marriage was also difficult.
3. Conceptual infiltration
The emergence of a large number of unmarried young people will stir up unmarriedism to a certain height, they preach the benefits of singleness, exclude the trivialities of entering marriage, if a girl has several such friends around, then he is also very likely to be rendered, meet parents to urge marriage, but also do not want to get married.
Compared with the many hardware conditions that men need to enter marriage, women pay more attention to the quality of marriage, and the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along after marriage, the daily life with children, the sharp decline in income and the reduction of appreciation space, which also makes girls more and more reluctant to get married.
How to solve the problem at the root?
1. Completely reverse the situation of son preference
The emergence of leftover men is not temporary, it must have been accumulated for a long time, if you want to break this imbalance between men and women, you must start from the concept, but the effect has been very significant, the pressure of having a son has overwhelmed many families, but also experienced the benefits of having a daughter, if you have children with the idea of going with the flow, it means true equality between men and women.
2. Reassure women
The reason why women are reluctant to enter marriage and are unwilling to have more children is very obvious, first, they are not pleased, and they are taken care of at both ends of the work family, and they are not recognized by their families.
If you want to be a stay-at-home mother, you still have to be despised, and you live a life of reaching out for money and being blinded, which educated girl is willing in her heart?
Second, at the end of the workplace career, women get married and have children, energy and work motivation will decline, employers will also consider, appreciation space is blocked, for some women with ideals and ambitions, this is not worth the loss. Therefore, the problem is fundamentally solved, so that girls are more willing to enter marriage.
3. Men improve their sense of responsibility
The emergence of leftover men is not only unable to get married, some boys are spoiled by their parents, living a life of dressing to stretch out their hands and eat to open their mouths, being accustomed to being served, and marriage is as always, making many girls prohibitive of married life.
Therefore, from an early age to cultivate the boy's sense of responsibility, improve the consciousness of doing housework, the happiness of marriage will be higher, in the future view of marriage, the requirements for money will gradually decrease, but the personal quality of men will be improved, a sense of responsibility and self-motivated boys, there will be no lack of appreciation around.
4. Combat high dowry
Marriage requires costs, the small two need life start-up funds, but the bride price should depend on the situation, according to the family conditions of the two families, should not blindly pursue high, and ignore the man's ability to bear, the woman's parents should also pay more attention to the boy's character and development potential, which is the root of a lifetime of happiness.
So men appear "wife shortage", girls do not want to get married, the result is that everyone does not have a baby together, this is not a good thing, a family and a country, need to have a new life, but fundamentally solve the problem, need you and me and his joint efforts.