There is a saying that goes: "Mother and son are related by blood, and between mother and daughter-in-law is a social relationship." ”
If you want to get along well with your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, you need to be humble and caring for each other, and if either party is narrow-minded, it will cause a lot of contradictions.
On the Internet, after watching the marriage of Ms. Peng and Mr. Cao, I really have a feeling, the two went from love to resentment, it only took 3 years, the mother-in-law forced her son and daughter-in-law to divorce, what did they do wrong?
01. Mother-in-law takes care of children, with its own spy effect
Ms. Peng and her husband are free love, both of them are working hard in the provincial city, and the common language brings them together.
After getting married, the two spent a down payment to buy a small house, in order for the child to have a good living environment, Ms. Peng has been insisting on going to work after becoming pregnant.
After the birth of the child, the husband asked his mother to help with the baby, which opened the prologue to the contradiction.
Originally, There was no contradiction between Ms. Peng and her mother-in-law, the two had only met a few times, and the time they spent together was not long, how many contradictions could there be?
But the mother-in-law has a habit that makes it difficult for her to accept, that is, to love to supervise herself, for example, Ms. Peng will still have work after work, sometimes customers call over, she must answer, worried about affecting the mother-in-law and children in the living room, just stand at the stairwell to call.
The mother-in-law will hide next to listen, listen to whether the other party on the daughter-in-law's call is a man or a woman, what exactly is said, how long the phone is said, and then tell her son in 1510, in ms. Peng's words, the mother-in-law has a talent for spies, and the observation is really meticulous enough.
If it is nothing to pass on, the key is that the mother-in-law adds oil and vinegar, once Ms. Peng talked to the customer about a project, and she was very happy, so she asked the other party to eat, said that she wanted to invite guests, asked the other party whether there was time on the weekend night, and sat together.
This is a very normal social, the result of the mother-in-law wanted to deviate, immediately scolded the daughter-in-law for not keeping the woman's way, behind the back of her son out of the date, the words are very ugly, Ms. Peng felt incredible, she directly slammed the door out.
I thought that after a while, the mother-in-law could calm down, but the mother-in-law told her son about the matter and asked her son for a divorce, Mr. Cao listened to his mother's words, lost his temper with Ms. Peng, and the couple had a big fight.
Such a lot of things, Ms. Peng feels very tired, the mother-in-law's request is that the daughter-in-law can go to work, but after work to come back to do housework, accompany the child, can no longer answer the phone, especially the phone of the gay man, must hang up, these requirements, Ms. Peng can not do, in the workplace, the customer is the gold lord, she can not afford to offend, sometimes the customer a phone, she must also open the computer overtime.
The mother-in-law was very dissatisfied with this and said to her daughter-in-law: "You divorce me, what conditions do you have to tell me?" I don't think you're a good person, calm and calm after divorce, and then think about how to be a qualified wife. ”
Originally, the mother-in-law wanted to scare the daughter-in-law, she felt that the daughter-in-law could not leave the home, but the daughter-in-law agreed, and the mother-in-law panicked.
02. Loving children is the mother's instinct, and a sense of proportion is the wisdom of getting along
If the mother-in-law crossed the line and made Ms. Peng angry, her husband's inaction made her angry.
Originally both of them were busy at work, and when they returned home, they wanted to have a relaxed environment, and the mother-in-law helped to take care of the children, and it was also to reduce the burden on the little two, so that they could have time to focus on work.
As a result, because the mother-in-law was talking in the middle, the two did not relax at all when they went home, and often quarreled.
As long as there is a contradiction between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, the son will stand on the side of the mother, thinking that the mother is tired with the child, and can no longer make the mother angry, what happened to the wife to let the mother-in-law?
For the absurdity proposed by the mother, the son did not comfort his wife, but mocked: "You really have nothing to do, my mother can lie?" ”
Ms. Peng is tired, she feels that her husband should believe in herself, especially when she encounters problems, her husband does not ask the reason, directly define the attitude, let her feel very irresponsible, she is unusual, take the initiative to propose divorce, this husband and mother-in-law are not willing.
The mother-in-law and her son Mr. Cao discussed that a woman already has children, where can she run, use divorce to scare her, and let Ms. Peng know how to take care of the family in the future.
As a result, Ms. Peng wants to divorce, which is not their real idea, because it is not easy to marry a daughter-in-law, and children cannot be without mothers.
To this end, the mother-in-law asked the mediator to help, wanted to let the daughter-in-law change her mind, she said that she will no longer care about the affairs of her son and daughter-in-law in the future, as long as the daughter-in-law does not divorce.
Mr. Cao also promised to change his attitude, let his wife stop being stubborn, and live a good life for the sake of her children.
Ms. Peng's sister also advised her sister that in order for her children to have a complete home, learn to be patient, where there is perfection in life, as long as the problem is solved, do not let the child live in a single-parent family.
The child called her mother on the phone, and Ms. Cao burst into tears, but refused to agree, saying that she had broken her heart and had no confidence in marriage, and was worried that hidden tolerance would be exchanged for more grievances.
03. What should I do if I encounter a mother-in-law who can't figure it out?
Should Ms. Cao get a divorce? Let's discuss it later, and first look at the problems in her marriage.
First, the mother-in-law has no sense of proportion.
The mother-in-law loves her son in a self-righteous way, but there is no standard for judging things, deliberately distorting the facts, just to confirm her own conjecture, this selfish idea is the source of contradiction.
As a mother-in-law, you must understand that helping your son and daughter-in-law with children is to reduce their burden, do not add trouble to them, if you really see something wrong, you can also talk to your daughter-in-law privately to avoid misunderstanding.
I believe that the mother-in-law thinks about the daughter-in-law's transposition, the daughter-in-law can also understand the hardships of the mother-in-law, the two sides understand each other, even if there is a small contradiction will not be put in the heart.
Second, the son did not take responsibility.
Partial listening and partial belief are the problems of many sons.
Sons recognize relatives, mothers are for their own good, even if there are shortcomings, the younger generations must forgive.
But ignored, the position is different, the idea will be different, from the perspective of the daughter-in-law, it is difficult to have a good feeling for a mother-in-law who adds oil and vinegar, if the son can not distinguish between right and wrong, it will only paint the problem more and more black.
If you want to solve the problem, you must learn to have something to say to your face, rather than whispering to your mother behind your wife's back, the more you uncover the problem, the easier it is to resolve the contradiction.
Third, don't get angry.
No matter what kind of grievances you have suffered, you must pay attention not to anger innocent people.
For example, some people have a fire at work, and when they go home, they hate the bad taste of food, which is anger.
Ms. Peng is also angry, she put the anger towards her husband and mother-in-law, inadvertently transferred to the child, the child is young, of course, hope that the parents do not divorce, she will not answer the son's phone, which is actually a kind of cold violence against the child.
If not guided, the child will be inferior and sensitive, he will feel that he is not good enough, there is no way to prevent his parents from divorcing, this harm is long-term and hidden, parents really pay attention.
Write at the back:
In fact, everyone has their own values and their own criteria for judging things.
But home is not a place of reason, but needs some tolerance and love.
If you only look at the problem, every couple has a hundred reasons to divorce, and the reason why they choose to give up is mostly for the sake of children and the future, because in the people you hate, there are also advantages that you appreciate.
Therefore, we must also learn to jump out of the problem to see the essence, if everyone is willing to change, but also has recognized their shortcomings, may wish to change a way of life, and then give each other a chance, life is a process of continuous running, perhaps experienced pain, more understand the meaning of cherishing it.
Give it a thumbs up and go! Do you think Ms. Cao should divorce her?