Night reading | you still have to believe in love

It's Valentine's Day in a few days. As if on an appointment, many pairs of star artists announced the news of their marriage on the same day, including the familiar Han Xing Xuan Bin Sun Yizhen. Netizens who are accustomed to seeing celebrity divorces all year round have expressed that they "believe in love again."

There is also news that the marriage registration in many places 2022.02.22 has been full, this day because there are many "2s", which is regarded by netizens as a "good birthday and auspicious day", which means pairs of pairs, known as "the most loving day of 2022".

In the new year, will you meet the TA that makes you want to stay with you for the rest of your life? "When you are urged to get married every festive season", will you choose to bravely enter the marriage?

In the feudal era, the marriage and childbearing system of society was based on the inheritance of the family, and the greatest significance of marriage was to reproduce the offspring and continue the "incense". Young men and women marry and have children under the orders of their parents and the words of matchmakers. Love, which is not necessary for marriage, is even considered completely unnecessary, because "free love has no good results." No matter how much tragedy and misfortune of marriage, people in the past, especially women, have difficulty escaping the fate and arrangement of marriage.

If it is fortunate to be able to meet true lovers in their lifetime, such as Sima Xiangru and Zhuo Wenjun, such as Li Qingzhao and Zhao Mingcheng, the love of their souls has gone through "after one parting, the two places are hanging together, it is said that it is March and April, but who knows five or six years!" The seven-stringed piano has no intention of playing, the eight-line book cannot be passed on, the nine consecutive rings are interrupted, and the ten-mile long pavilion looks forward to the worldly division and barrier, and finally looks at each other and never separates, and only then will it come to the sigh of "willing to have a heart, and the white head is not separated".

Love, thousands of years without progress, nor regression, cycle after cycle, eternal reincarnation, no matter when you are in the world, if you fall into love, what you experience is the same heart vibration, selfless dedication and unrelenting feelings.

If in ancient times marriages were maintained by ethical constraints, how did the modern marriages that stay together to the white head maintain them? Is there really no strife, no adversity, no poverty and disease, no sorrow and no trouble?

Mo Yan said that the things in the world are the most taboo and perfect, and if you look at the moon in the sky, once it is perfect, you will be disgusted; the fruit on the tree, once ripe, will fall. Everything must always be left a little lacking in order to be persistent. Marriage is no exception, if you enter into marriage with pure expectations and fairytale visions, it is doomed to be unsustainable. If you are too worried about the possible problems of marriage and doubt your ability to cope, you will lack the confidence to enter, which is one of the reasons why many young men and women are "afraid of marriage" at present.

However, too idealistic and worrying are not conducive to getting along with the opposite sex for a long time. Being single has the benefit of being single, and marrying naturally has the benefit of getting married. From the perspective of rational choice, when the benefits of marriage are greater than the benefits of singleness, people will choose to get married; and when the benefits of continuing marriage are greater than the benefits of divorce, people will choose not to divorce.

There are many cases where marriages are made at first sight and impulsively, but there are very few people who divorce because of temporary intentions and unhappiness, because all divorces are long-planned discord.

When people survive in society, they will encounter all kinds of contradictions and conflicts, their own inner conflicts, and conflicts with others. Marriage is no exception. We still have many disputes with our parents and brothers, not to mention two independent individuals born with completely different family backgrounds and different ideas. In order to maintain the longevity of marriage, we must first deeply understand and accept the objective fact that there must be contradictions in marriage, and then explore and learn methods and techniques to resolve contradictions.

In the turbulent years of upheaval and displacement, men and women are united under the test of war and life and death, and often cherish the hard-won marriages that have endured all difficulties, and will issue the vow of "unless they die, they will never be born and depart". In today's era of stability and quiet years, it is indeed not easy for men and women to have an enduring and unforgettable soul love.

Today, men and women pay more attention to the proportion of love in marriage than a thousand years ago, and it is almost impossible to accept marriage without love. The more you pursue the love of the soul, the more young people postpone the age of marriage, waiting for the person who moves them.

I never agree with the idea that marriage is a "siege" because no one ever enters a marriage for no reason and flees it for no reason. If you clarify your responsibilities and the meaning of marriage before entering, and have the means and wisdom to skillfully resolve conflicts after entering, then marriage must be a "castle" full of psychedelic charm that makes you want to never stop!