1. Today, when cleaning my mother's room, I accidentally turned to the diary that my mother wrote when I was born, only to see that it said: "Strange and ugly, it is difficult to accept!" I didn't want to see the baby the moment I did

1. Today, when cleaning my mother's room, I accidentally turned to the diary that my mother wrote when I was born, only to see that it said: "Strange and ugly, it is difficult to accept!" I didn't want it the moment I saw the baby. Turning back was the diary written by my father: "The baby was born, oh my God, so small, ugly makes me so sad." "Me: ...

2. When I was six years old, I was already very sensible. One weekend, seeing that my parents were coming home from work, I decided to start cooking my first meal for my family, and my plan was to make a scrambled egg first. I poured oil into the pan and beat in a few eggs, and my mother came back. She came to the kitchen, staring straight into the pot, unable to speak for a long time, but her tears of excitement were already like a spring. I smiled and said, "Mom, did you see that I grew up and understood things, and you were touched by this?" Mom nodded and said excitedly, "Well, Mom is not only touched by you, but also heartache, poor me half a pot of oil!" ”

3, the brother-in-law is running a taxi, one night he worked overtime with a girl wearing a red dress and long hair fluttering on the side of the road to take a taxi. My brother-in-law was a little scared, asked for the address and drove quickly, and did not dare to look behind along the way. When I got to the place, I looked back and saw that there was no one in the car, only a large rag doll. The brother-in-law immediately abandoned the car and fled. The next day at work, his colleague said to her: "The passenger complained to you, saying that she had not gotten into the car yesterday, and that she had just thrown the rag doll into the car and you drove away." ”

4, a man after marriage, the wife and him quarreled all day, he really has no way to solve this problem, he often went to the old mother-in-law's home to complain about distress, once, the mother-in-law was not in a good mood: "This little thing runs to our house all day, is the product manufacturer still responsible for a lifetime?" The man was a little aggrieved: "Then you must also do a good job in after-sales service!" ”

5, with the daughter-in-law is hanging out in the supermarket, suddenly heard the supermarket in the radio shouting: please Zhang Jialin's parents immediately come to the front desk to claim your child! As soon as the news came out, I saw a young couple rushing to the front desk, presumably their children. Suddenly, the woman stopped the man and said, "Husband, now that someone is helping us look at the children, let's go buy some clothes, so it's easier!" Unexpectedly, the man also nodded his head in agreement, and then they walked into a clothing store. Seeing this scene, I smiled and said to my daughter-in-law: That child was definitely born to them!

6, medical school teachers define the role of doctors in this way: all of us are destined for the crematorium, all in the queue, the role of doctors is to prevent people from cutting in line, from time to time to carry people out of the queue to the back of the line, of course, some really can not move can only follow him! Sometimes he had to be beaten up when he was carried to the back! God defines! 7, before going out to get on the car, my boyfriend suddenly stepped in front of me and lowered his head to approach my face! I thought he was going to kiss me! My heart was beating super fast, and I thought to myself so many people! As a result, he half-crouched and looked at me from the bottom up and left. Me: What cao does? Boyfriend: Check your nostrils for nasal shit! I:???

8, there is an uncle to go to the bank to do business, suddenly want to go to the toilet, so he asked a bank security guard, where is the bathroom. The security guard looked at him and said, "Come with me." Then, he took the uncle to the bathroom in the lobby. When I arrived at the bathroom door, the uncle praised happily: "I have been to many banks to do business, and I count the best and most adequate services of your bank, and even the toilet has arranged special guidance." Thank you! Unexpectedly, the security guard replied, "I also want to go to the toilet." ”

9, the way to destroy a good song is to use it as an alarm, the way to destroy a good book is to put it in the scope of the exam, the way to destroy a crush is to confess to him, and the way to destroy a place of longing is to go there at eleven!

10. The father came home and saw that the child was looking at something, and then the father took advantage of the child's lack of attention to grab the notice from the child's hand and read it. It has a comment written by the teacher: "Shoot a slingshot in class, put worms in the pockets of classmates... Parents are invited to talk about it. The father roared angrily: "You did this in school, what can you do when you grow up?"?" "Daddy, this is not my notice, I found it in your old box." ”

11, today's mood is not good, want to find a reason to scold the husband, look up, he is cooking and sweeping the floor, he threw 100 yuan into the vase, (want to frame him for hiding private money). Then throw the vase to the ground. Actually threw out 500!

12, today and once had a crush on the female classmates to visit the mall, met the wife face to face, just do not know how to be good, the two goods wife actually came to the sentence: "The little two go shopping." I just wanted to explain that I didn't expect the female classmate to lean on me, and replied with peach blossoms: "Well, yes, why didn't your husband accompany you?" ”

13, today the store discussed the problem of sleeping position, some people said that the left side of the bed is good, do not press the lungs, breathe smoothly. Some people say that the right side lies well, does not suppress the heart, and so on. I weakly asked next to me: Does it depend on the Lp sleeping there? Suddenly, quiet...

14, a buddy is very funny, one day spent 10 yuan to buy a thick gold chain to hang around the neck. One day when he went up to the street and saw a man on a motorcycle galloping toward him, he was so frightened that he quickly threw the thick gold chain into the grass on the side of the road, and the motorcycle stopped and ran to the grass to find the gold chain, and he rode the man's motorcycle