1, at night, invite the husband to go to KTV to sing, play too hi, sleep in KTV - accommodation. I woke up early the next morning looking at my phone and there were 105 missed calls, all from my wife

1, at night, invite the husband to go to KTV to sing, play too hi, sleep in KTV - accommodation. I woke up early the next morning— looking at my phone, there were 105 missed calls, all from my wife! Frightened, I quickly asked the old man, "What should I do?" The old man thought about it, decisively turned off my mobile phone, and pulled out the SIM card and broke it in half. Then the old man said to me: "I will go out to get a new card, and tell my girlfriend that your mobile phone card is broken, so I changed to a new number!"

2. When I was studying at Shandong University, I worked part-time as a network manager in an Internet café. One night on the night shift, three people came in the middle of the night, a man and two women, one of whom was a couple. After a while, the man played the game as if he had killed 5, and a woman came to buy milk tea to celebrate. I had just made two cups and the woman said to me: Wait, give me milk tea!! I said: I haven't sealed it yet!! She said: It's okay, I'll add something and seal it again!! Then I saw her take a bottle of old mom out of her bag, pour it into one of the cups and say: Show your love!! Show your love!! After finishing it, he handed me the milk tea and said, "Okay, seal it!"

3. Every time I had to lose weight at home, my father and brother objected. My dad always said to me: I like your baby the most. To this day, my dad's phone can't be found, and he asked me to use my phone to call his phone. Finally, his phone was found in the crack of the sofa. As a result, when I saw his mobile phone, my note turned out to be, dead fat! I said, "Dad, am I biological?"

4, the daughter-in-law asked to quit smoking, I hid a box in the corner of the bathroom, secretly smoking one at a time. That day I took it out again and found a note she had written inside: Thirteen! I had to put it back in a sad way. After a few days, I was in a hurry, smoked half of it, and then inserted it in front of it with a toothpick, put it in the cigarette box to level it, and sure enough, I didn't see it. Yesterday the old man came, and the daughter-in-law took out the box of cigarettes and went to wash the dishes. The father-in-law took out a cigarette butt with a toothpick, and took out a few more as it was, and slammed the box into his pocket. I think men really need tacit understanding...

5. The chairman bought a hibiscus king and put it on the desk, and I stole two boxes after seeing it. After the chairman later adjusted the monitoring and found out, he directly dismissed me. After two months at home, I couldn't find a better job. When the sister-in-law came to my house to play, she said: Now the stall is very popular, you have good craftsmanship, you can go to a stall to make a supper. I think there is a drama, busy asking: what to do? Sister-in-law: Fried squid! I:......

6. I have been working for a company for five years and have now climbed to the position of manager. Colleague Xiao Zhang asked me for a few days of leave, saying that he was going back to his hometown to be a relative. Xiao Zhang came back a week later, and I was very curious to ask him: "Is it booked?" Xiao Zhang smiled awkwardly and said, "I'm sorry, people want five pounds, I have money!" I was stunned, smiled and said, "Isn't hardware normal?" If you can't spend a few dollars, what do you not want? Xiao Zhang looked at me and said, "It's not the hardware you said, it's a hundred yuan and five pounds!" ”

7, Dad went to KTV to sing and couldn't grab Mai, so he kept drinking. After drinking too much, I came back and took my hand and said: Daughter, I only have one daughter like you, after my money is left to you, I will buy what I like, and after saying that I stuffed 5,000 yuan for me, and then I slept. This morning I got up the window and saw my dad rummaging through boxes and cabinets, saying: I remember hiding the money here, why is it gone??

8. Eight months pregnant, I finally unloaded the goods and gave birth to a very cute son. Now my son is a month old and often falls asleep surprisingly quietly. At this time, I would quickly use my hands to find out if I was still breathing, and my husband laughed at my nervousness. Tonight, my husband's purring was so loud that I couldn't sleep, so I had to twist him. The husband laughed and said, "What's so bad about snoring?" Let you know I'm alive!" ”

9, my boyfriend asked me to go to the beach to play, before going to the supermarket to buy a bottle of yogurt, to the beach, the first time I saw the sea I was still a little excited. So I held a newly bought mobile phone for 7998 in one hand and drank yogurt in the other. After a few minutes, the yogurt was finished, so I handsomely threw it into the sea. The boyfriend was stunned, looked at the yogurt bottle in my hand, and yelled: You threw it wrong! I've never littered again...?

10. A man goes to a woman's house to fool around when her husband is not at home, but the woman's husband returns home early. When the doorbell rang, the man was frightened, but the woman said calmly, "Don't be nervous, get dressed and wait a while." Then, she took a bag of garbage from the kitchen and walked to the door, opened the door and said, "Honey, before entering the door, will you take this bag of garbage out and throw it away?" Then by the time her husband entered the door again, the man was already dressed and left safely. On the way home, the man thought, this woman is so smart.

11, I smoked a refrigerator worth 20,000 yuan in the company. I wanted to give it to my mother-in-law, I called, and my sister-in-law answered. I said there was a gift for them and asked her to guess what it was. My sister-in-law asked me to give me some tips, and I said it made people feel cold. The sister-in-law asked again: Heavy or not?? Me: One person can't carry it. The sister-in-law said in fear: You want to send your sister back??

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #