1, the eldest sister-in-law came to my house to take a bath, and the daughter-in-law was afraid that I would peek, and drove me out of the house. I thought to myself that my wife didn't trust me too much, am I that kind of person? I came to the park in a huff and sat down on the stone

1, the eldest sister-in-law came to my house to take a bath, and the daughter-in-law was afraid that I would peek, and drove me out of the house. I thought to myself that my wife didn't trust me too much, am I that kind of person? I came to the park in a huff and sat on a stone chair and smoked! Just then a beautiful woman came up and sat down next to me. I also ignored her, smoking a cigarette with my own care, but I didn't expect her to take the initiative to talk to me, why are you so unconscious, sitting here smoking, didn't you see anyone next to you? This beautiful woman is really thick-skinned, I sighed, took out a cigarette and handed it to her and said, OK, ok, give you a cigarette, you take it and smoke it, don't say that I am not conscious of exclusive cigarettes. Unexpectedly, the beauty patted open my cigarette, snorted, and went straight away. This beautiful woman has a really strange temper, and I don't know if I can find a husband in the future, so I shook my head involuntarily and sighed again.

2, a friend died in a car accident for two years, his WeChat has not been deleted, suddenly one day, on a whim sent him a message: ""Are you okay over there"? After a while, two words popped up in the message box: "It's okay." "Scared I threw away my phone, I couldn't get back for a long time!"

3. In order not to let the brother-in-law only know how to nibble on the old man, the mother-in-law and the old man have not told him that the family is very rich. Recently, my brother-in-law just graduated from college and had to work in an electronics factory because he couldn't find a job. Last night my brother-in-law invited me for a drink, and I looked at him quite depressed and asked him what was wrong. He lit a Chinese cigarette and said slowly: Now that I have graduated, I have found that there is no better place than school. Me: How do you say that? Brother-in-law: You think, a few hundred yuan a year's rent, water, electricity and heating are free, you don't need to sweep the toilet, there are three dollars around you can wash a bucket of clothes in the laundry, fifteen yuan can eat a day of restaurants, you can live with your best friends, and so many single beauties! After listening to my brother-in-law's words, I think he said it very reasonably!

4, on the way, my girlfriend suddenly said to me: Break up. I've never seen such a childish boy as you. I'm a big man. You actually call me childish. The girlfriend turned to go. Me: Don't move. I stepped on your shadow. I can't walk. immature. You still don't let go. I still have business. Not really. I took the stone and pressed him down. I'll go first!! immature. Can't I just take it away.?

5. When Wu Dalang found that Pan Jinlian was sullen and unhappy after returning home, he asked with concern: "Lady, is it uncomfortable?" Jin Lian shook her head, and Da Lang's face was full of doubt. Pan Jinlian lay on the bed and whispered, "Because I love someone I shouldn't love, my heart is full of scars!" "What's wrong with you?" Da Lang was puzzled. "Because I made a mistake that I shouldn't have made, my heart was full of regret!" Da Lang hurriedly said loudly, "You really make me wonder how to be good!" ”

6, the college entrance examination played very stable, admitted to a 211 college in Shanghai, when the admission letter came down, the mother was happy to sleep all night. I am also very surnamed Fen in my heart, so I quickly played a few games to calm the mood of this surname Fen. Suddenly my mom asked me, "Why don't you go on a date on the weekend?" I looked ugly and said, "No woman likes me!" The mother comforted: "If there is a woman who likes you, what are you willing to do for her?" Without hesitation, I shouted, "Anything! The old mother smiled and said, "Son, your mother likes you, you go and help your mother wash the dishes!" ”

7, our company more women and fewer men, handsome guys on me, I wonder, I came for three months no one chased me? I went to complain to the landlady, and she smiled: "Who dares to touch my people?" A domineering declaration of love, I was touched at the time. But there was a real question, I asked: "What about your husband?" The landlady said: "I am negotiating, I plan to give him the company." Woman, so tired. "I refused when I heard her say this, for the simple reason that I didn't want to work hard anymore. When she went out, she said, "Fool, I have a deposit" You say, I regret it now, can she still want me not to??

8, my wife has a special habit, especially like me to call her "silly daughter-in-law". On this day, my wife asked me: Honey, you see I graduated from graduate school, business executives, family finance, housework, your daily life I arranged in an orderly manner, right? I nodded yes. The wife asked: Then why do you call me a stupid daughter-in-law? Is it in your eyes that I will always be a little girl who doesn't grow up, needs your pet, needs to care? The wife's face turned red as she spoke, and her appearance was very delicate and lovely. I listened to a cigarette silently and shook my head: "That's not true, have you heard it, there is a saying that the more a man lacks something, the more he emphasizes something...?

9. Yuyu learned to dance, learned for 5 years, and often received some performances. Me: How much does this kind of performance cost? Yuyu: You are too vulgar, I tell you, just don't give money, everyone can seriously watch my performance, I am happy in my heart. When Yuyu said this, I felt a pang of shame in my heart. Yuyu: When performing, what if which local tycoon and boss under the stage looks at me? I:......

10. A woman encounters a robber on her way home. She knelt down and said: Big brother, my hotel sends leaflets, the salary is only 1900 wages, can you not rob the money? The robber cried and said: Sister, I also send flyers in the gym, because now there is no performance to come out to rob, all of them are with you. The woman packed up her clothes and was about to turn away. The robber said: Take this leaflet of mine, or my other colleagues will stop you from robbing!

11. There is a new bar in my house, recruiting several employees. The entrants were enthusiastic, and there was a common question in the form: Why would you want to do this job. Several of them answered very differently. One read: Insomnia at night. One replied: In order to let the wife accompany the children to do homework at night, do not rub mahjong. One woman said: I hate my husband for snoring at night.

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