1, just yesterday paid 22,000 yuan of wages, after work to eat the buffet, after the wine and dinner, just about to get up and go, but was stopped by the waiter, had to let me make up the difference. I watched

1, just yesterday paid 22,000 yuan of wages, after work to eat the buffet, after the wine and dinner, just about to get up and go, but was stopped by the waiter, had to let me make up the difference. I looked at the empty table and asked angrily: Sister, I don't have leftovers, why should I make up the difference? The waiter said: Yes sir, you are not wasteful, but! We 19 yuan buffet hot pot, you did not eat anything, came to eat our five pounds of abalone, three pounds of lobster, but also drank two boxes of red wine, a box of yogurt, you said is not the need to make up the difference?

2, the girlfriend's father is an upstart, from childhood especially doting on her, resulting in now the girlfriend can eat, at least three bowls of rice at a time, male classmates are willing to bow to the wind. Once in the class teacher's class, the girlfriend was particularly hungry, so she secretly ate a bite of steamed bread stolen from the canteen. Unexpectedly, I was just seen by the class teacher who had just turned around. He scolded at his girlfriend: A girl, sloppy like this, see who dares to marry you later! Yes, my girlfriend later became the daughter-in-law of our homeroom teacher. It is said that on the day his son took his brothers home, the class teacher stayed outside and hid for a day, and he did not have the good sense to go back.

3. In the evening, I handed the year-end award to my wife, and then my wife praised her one after another: "Husband is awesome, husband is really handsome." While my wife was happy, I hurriedly withdrew my shoes and showed off a pair of tattered socks, eight of my ten toes exposed. I said, "Wife, you see, the brothers are showing their heads, give three dollars, and I will go to the small commodity market at the door to change my socks." The wife's eyes were white, and she turned her face faster than turning the book: "Go away, a pair of socks have only been worn for two years, and you have been harmed like this, and you have provoked the old woman to be unhappy all day long!" ”

4, on the weekend female colleagues asked me to go climbing, I was on, she was down. When I climbed to the upper waist, I saw that the female colleague's cheeks were slightly flushed! Red, small mouth exhale. It's like being tired. I looked at her and said, "If I don't go up, you'll wait down, and I'll go up for a while and then I'll come down, what's the matter?" Unexpectedly, she suddenly listened to the drums and went down the mountain with an unhappy face. I was stunned and wondered, how did I mess with her?

5. After getting married, my uncle's attitude changed significantly. On this day, when I went to dinner, my uncle pulled my brother aside and whispered to me: "Son-in-law, I want to teach you the skill of hiding money from your private house." The brother was stunned and asked: "Then aren't you against your daughter?" The uncle smiled and said, "Think more about yourself!" The brother asked with a puzzled face: What is the connection between the two? Uncle smiled at Mimi and looked at her brother and said, "Hey hey, after teaching you, I'll borrow money from you later!"

6. Aunt next door: "The last time I saw a kitten here, how is it now?" Nannan: "Ah, don't you know?" Aunt next door: "I don't know anything, is it dead?" Nannan: "No." "Did you give it to a friend?" "Nothing." Aunt next door: "Well, I don't understand." What's wrong with it now. Nannan: "It has grown into a big cat." ”

7. My little nephew recently stayed at our house, and my mother helped him with homework at night. Nephew: "Grandmother, what is a hundred times more confidence?" Grandma: "That's what your aunt looked like before she went on a blind date." Nephew: "What is a lost dog?" Grandma: "The virtue of your little aunt coming back from a blind date." Nephew: "Who told you no heart and no lungs?" Grandma: "Your aunt actually went on a blind date." ”

8. When I was a child, my father worked at the State Grid and could get a salary of 12,000 yuan per month. That day, Dad had just paid his salary and spent 18,000 on JD.com to buy an "alien" laptop. I couldn't play at the time, I didn't even know the power switch. On this day, I was playing Plants vs. Zombies on the computer, my brother was watching from the side, he also wanted to play, he quietly pressed the power button down, said the power outage, let me go to the living room to watch TV! I also believed, and then I watched a merriful afternoon of television.

9. After two years of live broadcasting of the game, I did not expect that I was also invited to meet by female fans. Before the meeting, I happened to see a big sister on the side of the road setting up a stall to polish shoes, so I went to patronize it. I was busy, and the eldest sister suddenly asked me: Why don't you smoke? I laughed and said: I don't want you to smoke second-hand smoke. The eldest sister was touched by the hearing, and smiled and said that it didn't matter. I listened to a curious face and asked: Big sister, you also like the smell of cigarettes? The young lady nodded and said, "Yes, especially when you shine your shoes close to your feet!"

10. I have been working in the field for three years and I am home today. I bought a gift and visited my husband's house, and I was shocked when I saw my sister-in-law. The sister-in-law who was originally in good shape and has always been a school flower is now fat like a ball. Seeing my surprised look, the old man said: "What is surprising, there are too many people chasing her, affecting learning, so every day I change the pattern to make food, raise her so fat, now no one chases her, the results are good." ”

11, last night my husband went out, and then was killed by a speeding Rolls-Royce Phantom, the owner is very responsible, said to take care of me for a lifetime. Soon we were married, and he took the initiative to tell me that he was the richest man in our city, and that he had a very happy life after marriage and did not have to go to work every day. Yesterday I went to the park to relax, and when I arrived at the lake, I saw a man with a straw in the water, and a girl standing next to him looked at him coldly. I asked curiously: What's wrong with this, so thirsty, do you want me to buy a bottle of water? The girl snorted coldly: Leave him alone, drink too much wine, you must say that you are the Dragon King of the East Sea, you must suck the water in the pond dry.

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #