1, because my brother looks too ugly, my father had to go to the hospital to do the identification, the result was completed, everyone laughed all night. Because when I went to the hospital for an appraisal, the doctor saw my father and my brother

1, because my brother looks too ugly, my father had to go to the hospital to do the identification, the result was completed, everyone laughed all night. Because when I went to the hospital for an appraisal, the doctor saw that my father had taken my brother and asked, "Are you planning to do a paternity test?" Dad said to the doctor, "Of course! As a result, the doctor left his father speechless with a single word. The doctor said, "It should be biological, you two look like a mold!"

2, I have a cousin, she is very good, is very good at life. Selling vegetables in the vegetable market, a bunch of green vegetables, the leaves are yellow and reluctant to throw away, and no one wants three dollars. The cousin came back from work, stripped off all the yellow leaves, and snatched up five pieces and a pound. Cousin education cousin: This dish is like a woman who needs to lose weight and dress up, weight loss and dress up is worth it, if you were willing to spend money to make a fuss, why can you be cheap enough to marry me? How much is the bride price worth? The cousin thought it was a loss, spent more than five thousand to buy cosmetics, and the cousin regretted it...

3. When I was working in a Xiaomi factory, I secretly took a Xiaomi 10Pro and gave it to my girlfriend. As a result, the supervisor found out when he counted the inventory, and then fired me in a fit of rage. I didn't want to go out and look for a job, so I spent all day at home playing LOL, eating, drinking and having fun. Sleepy at noon on this day, I took a nap in my bathrobe. In the confusion, I suddenly heard a knock at the door, opened the door and looked at it, it was a big brother who delivered a courier. The two of us looked at each other with a confused face for three seconds, and the courier brother eased up and said: I'm sorry, I went to the wrong floor, the brothers are in good shape. Me: Big brother, this is the first floor.

4, the brother-in-law in the Internet café to play the game black, suddenly came in 6 a suit bald head. The noisy Internet café suddenly became unusually quiet, and everyone thought that these people had come to make trouble. The atmosphere did not dare to breathe, only to see that the 6 people drove a few machines and opened the dark there. When it was almost 10 o'clock, the Internet café rushed into a bald head dressed in monk's robes again, slapped the bald heads of the 6 bald men in suits in turn, and shouted: Hurry up, and then play the temple door and close. In an instant, 6 bald men in suits ran out of shadows.

5, the old man got into the car, I immediately got up and said: "Uncle, you come to sit here!" Uncle smiled and said, "Thank you boy, no need." I: "Respecting the old and loving the young is a traditional virtue of the Chinese nation. Uncle Pushed back and said, "You are quite tired at work, you sit and you sit." Just when we were humble, the driver said: "Can you stop pulling?" The car is full of us. ”

6. Today I went to the buffet myself, and when I looked up, I found two girls watching me. I thought about it carefully: Aren't two girls coveting my peerless appearance? Want to add me to WeChat? When I think of this, I can't help but change the problem of swallowing and eat it slowly and methodically. After an hour, the girls were almost finished eating, got up to leave, although I only ate half of the usual amount, I also got up and followed, while walking, I wanted to hurry up and ask for my phone, to call me. After coming out, one of the girls looked at me and said to the other: I am really not used to coming to this place for the first time. Thanks to the study with the man, otherwise I wouldn't know how to eat! Another: It's okay, I'll know next time I come back! After we have time, we will come and gather. I haven't eaten enough, can I go back and eat it again?

7. The girlfriend unit has a dinner, and a male colleague sends the girlfriend home. When they got home, the girlfriend found that the coat was still in the car. This morning, the male colleague stood at the door of the unit with an angry girl. The male colleague gave his coat to his girlfriend: You explain to my girlfriend that the clothes were dropped on my car. His girlfriend: Explain what, I still don't believe your vision. What does that mean?

8, the girlfriend's family is very poor, but she is also particularly vain, everything to use the brand. Some time ago, I bought lv bags, borrowed two thousand from me, and said that I would pay it back this week. This didn't just happen to happen, so I asked my girlfriend to ask for it! When my girlfriend heard that I wanted money, she immediately coddled me, and I raised my hand to stop her from saying: This trick is useless! Give money ~ Girlfriend's eyes turned and said: Otherwise, I will not accept your gift money when I get married, and this money will not have to be repaid! I'm going to..."

9. During the summer vacation, my seven-year-old nephew was playing with his mobile phone at home every day, and I felt that it was not good, so I took him out shopping. My nephew was sweating profusely, and I gave him ten dollars to buy water to drink. He bought me a bottle and said, "Aunt, I don't drink water, can I give me the remaining five dollars?" I hurriedly said, "What are you saving money for when you are young?" Need money to tell your aunt! My nephew approached me and whispered, "I have a classmate who helps someone write summer homework professionally, 40 yuan for two courses, I am still 5 yuan is enough..."

10. I bought 99 million yuan of color drifting seeds, and went to Tianjin parallel import to buy Maserati. When I checked out, I was told by the manager of the 4S store that I had been checked out by a man! Curious to look at the past, it was actually a big handsome guy I didn't know, and I couldn't help but bump into the fawn in my heart: It seems that the spring of my sister is coming. So, I went over with a red face and said hello: Hello, handsome man, thank you for checking out for me... The handsome guy glanced at me: The manager, not her, I checked out for the beautiful woman who bought the Porsche 911 behind her!

11, the sister brought the little nephew to the house to eat, the sister sadly said that the little nephew is on vacation, it is time to consider applying for the tutoring class. After eating, my nephew, who was in elementary school, dragged me to go shopping. From time to time, he took out a piece of paper to take notes on some shop phones, and I asked him what he was doing. He said: "Tomorrow these cram schools are going to work, and I will use my mother's mobile phone to block them tonight!" ”

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #