1. The first time I slept with my boyfriend, I was shy and hid in the bed and didn't dare to come out. My boyfriend saw that I was unwilling and embarrassed to force me, so we fell asleep at a long distance

1. The first time I slept with my boyfriend, I hid in the bed and didn't dare to come out. My boyfriend saw that I was unwilling and embarrassed to force me, so we fell asleep at a long distance. At night, suddenly the boyfriend said that this life is so short. At that time, I slipped into his arms and asked him shyly: Have you ever fought for anyone? As a result, the boyfriend came to say: My stomach has been frozen for an hour, and I don't cover the quilt anymore, and I guess I really have diarrhea.

2. A young man was in a car accident on his way to find a job. Before reincarnation, I had a doubt in my heart, and asked Meng Po: "I can't find a job that suits me, I am depressed and unhappy, so I hope to point out." Meng Po chanted a song to forgotten Chuan: "There are thousands of talents in the Central Plains, a few people in the country can be officials, the lonely clouds on the mountain go with the horses, the east return to the long road is difficult, finding a way out will be far away, the blue field is snow in October, and the wind in Xiangfeng is cold in October." The young man had an epiphany: "Are you telling me not to be too ambitious?" Meng Po: "Listen carefully, this is a Tibetan head poem." ”

3. The family found me a job as a security guard, and yesterday I received a separate training from my uncle, the captain of the security team: "This is not a small company that is not in the flow!" So! As long as you don't know, no one is allowed to come in. Got it? Strictly abide by this rule! If you can't, take the electric baton and burst him! Do you understand? "Got to know the old uncle!" I said confidently. The next day I was on duty, except for my uncle, I was all suddenly knocked down!  

4. The buddies often go on blind dates, and on this day the family introduced another one. After arriving at the place, the introducer introduced them to each other and went out, leaving them to talk alone. Dude said: Just now the introducer said that you are 23 years old, I don't see you as old as this. Without waiting for the girl to speak, the buddy continued: A girl of your age, who would wear such an old-fashioned dress... Then the girl went straight up and slapped the buddies and left.?

5. At the train station, there are many people, and there are people sending off and traveling everywhere. When the train was about to start, the conductor suddenly found a beautiful woman blocking the door of the carriage and talking to another beautiful woman. "Hurry up, girl," cried the conductor, "the door is closing." Stand back. The beautiful woman shouted, "Wait, I haven't kissed my sister yet." "Rest assured, I'll close the door first," said the conductor, "and I'll take care of the rest!"

6. I'm at the front desk at the Hillton Hotel and the lobby manager is my boyfriend. On Valentine's Day, my boyfriend proposed to me in front of my family, kneeling down on one knee with a rose in his hand. Affectionately said sweet vows, let me marry him. I was particularly excited when I was about to agree, when I suddenly found that there was no ring. Ask him about the ring, my brother said next to him: Everyone is willing to marry you, but do you still care about the diamond ring?? Stop dreaming, wake up soon!! Then, I really woke up.

7. Since marriage, Xiao Ke has been a unique wife and my brother's grace, combining family finances. What my brother wants to buy, as long as Xiao Ke does not agree, my brother will not dare to buy. Yesterday I went shopping, my brother said to Xiao Ke: Husband, this big pants is only thirteen yuan, buy you a piece. Xiao Ke immediately objected: Wife, I have only worn that one for five years, it is very new, I can wear it for another three years, no need to buy it.

8. Daming's home has just been renovated, one day, his wife was cleaning the bathroom, and suddenly shouted: "Honey! Our new washbasin is cracked! Daming rushed over to look, and sure enough, there were two black cracks on it. Fortunately, it was still in the replacement period, and Daming immediately dialed the after-sales telephone. Soon two repairmen arrived, breathlessly carrying a new basin. But when they dismantled the basin, they stopped and stared viciously at the little two mouths. Daming and his wife were puzzled: "What's wrong?" Only to see the maintenance worker pick up the two black "cracks" and angrily said, "You have looked carefully!" That's two hairs! ”

9. The cousin stole his uncle's private money and bought a new mobile phone. Today, when I went to work, my cousin set up a desktop with a broken screen on his mobile phone and then joked with his colleagues. The colleague wanted to use his cousin's mobile phone, and the cousin deliberately fell on the table when he handed it to him. He picked it up and looked dumbfounded, and the screen showed a fragmented pattern. The cousin smiled and leaned forward and backward, took the mobile phone to replace the desktop, and was surprised to find that the screen was still broken!

10. On Sunday, when I had enough to eat and drink at noon, I was woken up by the quarrel of my parents when I first entered the sweet sleep. So I got up and saw what was going on. My dad said, "It's really angry, I can't sleep from your purring every night, and I don't let people clean up at noon." The old mother also said urgently: "How normal is it for women to snore, and now many women are snoring, and I can't control it." My dad jumped up and said, "I know you snore when you sleep, how do I know about other women." ”

11. The brother-in-law eloped with an old woman in order to drive a Lamborghini. My sister was particularly upset, so I took her out to play and relax. As a result, after arriving at the playground, my sister was constipated, squatted for half a day without results, and the paper ran out, so we continued to play. Playing happily, my sister suddenly became anxious again, but there was no paper. I flipped left and right, then pulled out a few sheets. As soon as I had a stroke of genius, I asked my sister to give me 100 yuan in exchange. After returning home, the mother punished cooking, washing dishes, sweeping the floor, watching the children, a week!

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