1. When driving back to his hometown to visit the tomb during the Qingming Festival, he accidentally killed a sheep. The farmer asked me to compensate him for 3,000 yuan, and I knew that I had lost money and handed him the money. He took the money, and I did

1. When driving back to his hometown to visit the tomb during the Qingming Festival, he accidentally killed a sheep. The farmer asked me to compensate him for 3,000 yuan, and I knew that I had lost money and handed him the money. He took the money, and I said that the money had already been lost to you, so I would take it away. The farmer said indignantly: No! I wondered: the money has already been given to you, why don't you let me take it? Farmer: So if I drive your wife to death, can I take her away after I lose the money?

2. On the bus, I saw a 16- or 7-year-old girl being held by an uncle, and the girl said: Is it really good that you are a married man holding me, an unmarried woman, have you ever thought about your wife's feelings? The man said: Girl, is it good to save some face for your father! If you hadn't been motion sickness, I wouldn't have put my arms around you!"

3. At noon and my wife are taking a nap, suddenly someone knocked on the door, I woke up at once, picked up my clothes and pants and hid in the cabinet, hid in and found that the shoes forgot to take, only to see my wife use her foot to gently kick my shoes under the bed and kicked to open the door, open the door to see that it is her father, I suddenly realized that this is not my home, why do I hide in the cabinet, and then go out to continue sleeping.

4. I remember the first Chinese class of the third year of high school, the teacher said: "First introduce yourself, everyone open the second page of the textbook, find the deputy editor-in-chief, that is my name." Then everyone was stunned, and they couldn't imagine that this attached middle school actually hid a dragon and a crouching tiger!" The teacher smiled mysteriously: "I can't imagine it, we both have the same name ~" And then for a whole semester, I never saw the teacher carry a textbook when lecturing.

5. When waiting for the red light, a big aunt rode a bicycle and ran a red light straight from next to me! Almost hit by a taxi. The big aunt even felt as if she was reasonable, and still theorized with the driver. The driver said: Big Mom, the red light is hit, you will only have to lose 20,000, the green light was hit, the loss was 100,000, in order to get more than 80,000, you wait for a few more seconds or it is worth it! After saying that, the big aunt rode straight away on the bicycle.

6. I have a cousin who is very nice and is very good at living. Selling vegetables in the vegetable market, a bunch of green vegetables, the leaves are yellow and reluctant to throw away, three dollars all clear no one wants. The cousin came back from work, stripped off all the yellow leaves, and snatched up five pieces and a pound. Cousin education cousin: This dish is like a woman who needs to lose weight and dress up, weight loss and dress up is worth it, if you were willing to spend money to make a fuss, why can you be cheap enough to marry me? How much is the bride price worth? The cousin thought it was a loss, spent more than five thousand to buy cosmetics, and the cousin regretted it...

7. Last night my wife went out to play mahjong, and she suddenly sent me a message saying: Brother-in-law, call me quickly, and say let me go to your house for dinner! I knew it was her usual trick to get out, and it had been like this before, so I pulled it out decisively. After 10 minutes, the doorbell of my house rang, and when I opened the door, my wife's sister and brother stood at the door, smiling and squinting: Brother-in-law, you made me come to dinner! Thanks! I'll go! This routine of rubbing rice and sleeping is simply invincible!

8. After graduating from Northeast Normal University, I went to work at Power Resources. Not long ago, a new female intern came to the office. After getting along day and night, everyone is familiar with it. On this day, seeing that she had a bottle of Coke on her table, I took a bag of desiccant from the cabinet and said to do a magic trick for her, and the girl stared wide-eyed and waited for me to perform. I mysteriously tore the desiccant and poured it into the Coke, shaking it, embarrassingly not spraying. At this time, I listened to the sister calmly say: Give you two choices, either you drink this Coke, or hurry to buy a new bottle for the old woman! #Funny Paragraph# #Funny # #Winter Life Punch Card Season # #Laugh Dead Not Pay# #Cold Joke # #Hot # #今日头条 #