1． The professor sat opposite the peasant on the train. When bored, the professor said: I have a problem, if you don't know, give me 5 yuan; If you come up with a question, if I don't know, I will give you 500 yuan, how? Farmers agree. PROFESSOR: How far is the Moon from Earth? The farmer did not say a word and handed the professor 5 yuan. The farmer asked: Three legs up the mountain, four legs down the mountain, what kind of animal? The professor thought hard and helplessly gave the farmer 500 yuan. The farmer took the money and prepared to sleep. The professor asked: what is the animal with three legs up the mountain and four legs down the mountain The farmer did not say a word, handed the professor 5 yuan, and then slept with a low education and high IQ, which was terrible
2． The old man bought 2,000 acres of land with flowers, wanted to plant strawberries in the field, and let tourists pick them once for 80 yuan. But there were no strawberries growing in the field, and the old man was very upset, so he turned the soil over. It took a whole week to turn it over. It turned out that there wasn't even a single strawberry in the field. Ask the old man: How many seeds have you sown, how can you not have strawberries? The old man was shocked to hear this: Do you still want to plant strawberries and put seeds? Aren't there strawberries where there is soil?
3. Eating alone in a restaurant and meeting a buddy I haven't seen in more than a decade. The two of them sat together, chatted and said: Now the physical strength is not as good as before, and the push-ups are not so long-lasting. Dude said: I'm still like before. Me: Wouldn't you? Dude: The stone mill in the yard of my hometown, when I was young, I couldn't move, the other day when I went back, I tried it and still couldn't move, so I can see that I was still like that.
4. A big uncle floated 5 million, one day, saw a beautiful girl. Then he slammed the sister's wall against the wall and whispered: There are only two people in the world who will treat you like me, one is a father, the other is a boyfriend, do you know what I mean? The girl shook her head with a red face, and the uncle took a deep breath: Do you have a boyfriend? The girl said: No. The uncle continued to guide her: Since you don't have a boyfriend, what do you say I want to express? The girl suddenly realized: You want to be my father?
5． My brother was a little insensitive to arithmetic when he was a child, and no matter how grandpa taught him, he just couldn't remember. Grandpa patted the little grandson and sighed and said, "I don't know how to teach, I don't understand such a simple arithmetic, and when I grow up, I am not blamed by my daughter-in-law' pit?" The brother replied with tears in his eyes: "I can herd sheep," Grandpa said, "shepherding sheep?" You know if the sheep are lost, it's also a matter of arithmetic. The brother looked at his grandfather with a dissatisfied face: "Can't I keep one?" ”
6. At night, when I went to play at the home of a female colleague, just when her 7-year-old son was not sleeping, I teased him: "How are the test results?" He looked at me and asked, "Brother, is your girlfriend good-looking?" Is the salary high? Without waiting for me to answer, he continued: "Your girlfriend is definitely not as good looking as my mother, otherwise she would not have come to my mother at night." You certainly don't have a high salary, otherwise you wouldn't be driving a hundred thousand cars. "I was suddenly angry, and he was all right. I was angry, so I teased him, "I'll be your father!" He sneered, "Brother, don't think it's so useless, many people have such thoughts, but...you have to pass this level first!" ”
7． A few days ago, I had a holiday and found a part-time job as a food delivery. Deliver a takeaway tonight, and when she arrives, she's a beautiful woman who comes to open the door with only a T-shirt. I was afraid that she would complain that I was taking advantage of her, so I turned my face and handed her something. As a result, I still got a complaint... She called the customer service and said: What do you mean by this delivery? Don't even look at me, do you think I look ugly!
8． This morning Xiao Tao packed up his bags and ate breakfast and prepared to go on a business trip... Her daughter Duoduo saw that he was leaving, so she ran over to wrap Xiao Tao's legs and said, "Daddy don't go to work!" Xiao Tao said happily: "Then your Barbie doll can't buy it for you, Daddy doesn't work and has no money to buy it!" Duoduo's face changed and she immediately said, "Daddy, bye-bye!" ”
9. When the brother-in-law went to school with the female at the same table, he raised the bar with him every day. Every time the two of them fought red in the face, the two of them quarreled again when they were about to graduate, and finally the two cursed each other: they were single for a lifetime! After many years, the brother-in-law and the girl met each other! The whole process is extremely awkward, like sitting on a needle felt... Later, because of the dinner and checkout, the two actually fought... Now I feel that there is a reason why my brother and sister beat my brother-in-law to death every time!
10. Yesterday I went shopping with my boyfriend on a date, and I didn't expect to meet my father. After Dad saw it, he didn't say a word, pretended not to see it, and left. When I got home, my father said to me: You are wearing the skirt that your father bought for you for fifteen hundred yuan, and you are eating three dollars of fried stinky tofu on the street with the boy, and I have stewed a pot of good meat that has been stolen by the dog! I'm going, Dad, can you describe us both as a little nicer? #Funny Scene of the Year ##搞笑一刻 #
![#I want to make micro-headlines #Unforgettable memories of those years, my table mate was a thief. In the fourth grade of elementary school, there was a transfer student in the class, a boy, who was also very good-looking. No[fig]](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=)