My girlfriend asked me to hurry up to a party and said that there are many handsome guys... This paid off, I was very popular, only to see where there are handsome guys all a bunch of old dishes, girlfriends eat there, I punched her arm: what about handsome guys? She swallowed the lobster in her mouth: I'm sorry to eat here alone, I'll be relieved when you come here...
2. I still remember when I was in school at polytechnic university, I had a crush on the pure little sister of the next class. Once, the pure little sister of the next class suddenly found me and said: I also want to participate in the literary and artistic performance organized by the school, playing a princess, and there is still a boy, are you willing? I was flattered and said, "Yes." She said, "Thank goodness, I've finally made up enough seven."
3. After work with colleagues, go to the restaurant for dinner together. After eating and getting ready to check out, I took out my phone and said, I'll come! I have a V-letter. The colleague took out his wallet and said, I'll come, there is cash in the bag, it's all the same. Just when the two of us were arguing, the boss said: If I don't come, I will order two lamb kebabs in total, three dollars, and pay for this ink!
4. The reporter interviewed Zhen Huan: "Have you ever longed for freedom outside the palace?" Zhen Huan: "That's nature, countless nights, I yearn for the sky outside the Forbidden City, I want to climb over the wall, and then, one night..." The reporter quickly asked: "What happened to you that night?" Zhen Huan: "I climbed over the wall..." Reporter: "Great! So is it freedom outside the palace? "No, it's ya's moat!"
5. When the reporter interviewed a successful person, he asked: "Sir! Can you tell us the secret to success and prosperity? Successful people calmly replied: "That year, I failed to start a business!" After drinking, I walked alone in the business district, and then fell drunk on the pedestrian street; when I woke up drunk, I found that there was change all around me! I counted, there are more than a thousand dollars! In this way, I successfully opened the mode of getting rich..."
6, today's single beautiful colleagues in the office complained to us. She said: "I can't understand why girls now have such a request, as soon as they get married, they must have a car, a suite, and a deposit." I quickly echoed: "It's, too realistic." She continued, "Isn't it good to be a pair?" No matter how you want to have two cars, two suites and two deposits! "I wanted to chase her, but now it seems to be forgotten."
7. Today, taking the subway, the young doctor of the department suddenly called and asked me to use penicillin for an emergency patient, 1.6 million units? I said aloud into the phone: 1.6 million is too little, you give him 8 million at a time, give him twice a day, less does not work! The passengers in the car were stunned! No way, if you have money, you are willful!
8, today take the second goods boyfriend to meet relatives, mahjong table to see people's hearts, boyfriends usually rarely contact mahjong, but the sixth sister called to sit down and play a circle. I whispered to my boyfriend to let them, the first round of good luck directly came 4 second tubes, when the boyfriend sent out 4 second tubes the moment I knew that something was going to happen! "Bomb"! The boyfriend also leaned his head over and whispered, "Is it too obvious to release the water?!" ”
9, today go to the canteen to eat snail powder. The cute sister paper in front of me said: Uncle, I want a three-fresh one. I was in the back of the line and suddenly the egg hurt, you know that I have always called the boss as the big brother, how to hook up with the older generation! Weighing it up again and again, I also squeezed out a cute gesture: Uncle, I also want a three-fresh. The boss looked at me and said: Big brother, don't break it. If I don't read your book, I'll call you uncle." The one in line laughs! Forget it, don't eat it later!
10, today with the boyfriend's discount card to invite friends to eat together, when checking out, the front desk sister said that you need to check with the card owner to use. So the front desk dialed the boyfriend's phone: Hello sir, there is a lady who wants to pay for your membership card, do you know? Boyfriend: Is she a round-faced girl who is a little short, a little fat, and has acne on her face? The front desk couldn't help but look at me with a smile and said: ... Well, it should be. Boyfriend: That's right, my girlfriend gave it to her. Friends who come to dinner together listen to the hilarity, which will be humiliating.
1 Aunt looked at the homework written by her cousin, a "dog" wrote a piece of paper, and the aunt had some headaches after seeing it. My aunt asked my cousin: Your "dog" is also too untidy, big big, small and small, to be the same big to look good, look at this big than the small two are bigger, this is not OK! The cousin scratched his head, and then said doubtfully: But the five dogs we have are all different big, some are big and some are small, and the big one is bigger than the three small ones! My aunt smiled and said: It seems that you must be given a complete childhood!
12. According to statistics, we are constantly surrounded by various notifications. On average, we get about 65 notifications a day. This means that we receive a notification every 16 minutes when we are awake, and each notification has the potential to interrupt you and drain your willpower. If you are interrupted while you are studying, it usually takes an average of 25 minutes to fully focus on the task at hand. On top of that, when we're distracted, we're 3 times more likely to make mistakes on tasks that require attention. If we receive a new notification before we readjust, then we will not be able to concentrate all the time.
13, looking at the girl who just joined the work scrambling to sort out her own tools, carefully proofreading the work process, smiling and signaling me to wait a moment, I was amused by the girl's cuteness and youth, but I thought that this girl was about to needle me as a trainee nurse, I couldn't be happy in an instant.
14. Customer service: "How many seats do you want?" Passenger: "How many classes do you have?" Customer service: "Premium, first class, second class, wait, wait a little longer." Passenger: "I'll see, wait a minute." Customer service: "Don't wait, wait any longer." Passenger: "Then wait for this." "How many seats did passengers end up buying?" A special class B first class C second class D wait E wait first class F and then wait first class G class H class
![#I want to make micro-headlines #Unforgettable memories of those years, my table mate was a thief. In the fourth grade of elementary school, there was a transfer student in the class, a boy, who was also very good-looking. No[fig]](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=)