1. The eldest sister-in-law is divorced and lives in my house temporarily. It happened that my wife was on a business trip, and I was at home with my eldest sister-in-law! I didn't want to cook at night, so I said to my sister-in-law, or we should go out

1. The eldest sister-in-law is divorced and lives in my house temporarily. It happened that my wife was on a business trip, and I was at home with my eldest sister-in-law! I didn't want to cook at night, so I said to my sister-in-law, or let's go out for a hot pot, I'll treat you. The eldest sister-in-law shook her head and said, how do you mean to let you entertain, come to your house to disturb you, I have not been too bothered to go, tonight this hot pot I invite you. I smiled and said, don't be so polite, everyone is a family, you come to my house, then I will do the landlord's courtesy. She insisted that today I would like to please. I also insisted, or I please. The two of us argued for one night. Until 12:00 p.m., we were both very hungry. So I said. Why don't we eat some instant noodles first? Then go on with the hot pot thing at night. She nodded and said, Okay. I said, then I'll go cook instant noodles for you to eat. She quickly stood up and said, "I'll cook it." I shook my head and said. You came to my house on the first day of today, of course, I cooked noodles for you. She insisted, no, no, no, I'm your sister. Of course, I do the cooking of noodles. So we argued all night over the matter of cooking noodles. At 8:00 a.m. the next morning, we were already dizzy with hunger. Both collapsed on the couch, and no one had the strength to speak. Trembling, I took out my mobile phone and dialed The Doctor, hoping that the doctor would come to treat us both in time.

2, my husband stole my ID card and borrowed 1200 yuan and bought two soft Chinese. After I knew it, I was particularly angry and had a fight with my husband. By dinner the next morning, my husband and I ignored each other. My son immediately said to me, "Mom, did you quarrel with your father last night?" Don't be angry, I'm on your side, remember, the son is helping you, you can't learn from others like that, you can't win the child's anger! ”

3. Studying at Tsinghua University, the living expenses of 5,000 a month are simply not enough for me to spend, so I have to borrow money from my roommates to eat every day. In the middle of this month, I borrowed money from a roommate again, and the roommate asked incomprehensibly: You were not like this before, why did you spend money so quickly recently? I breathed a long sigh of relief and said, "Alas, I've been sick lately, gynecological disease, the kind that can't be cured." The roommate said: Speaking of people, what gynecological disease do you have as a big man? I said: Online shopping!?

4. A girl got on the plane and saw a man sitting in her seat. She checked her ticket and said politely, "Sir, are you sitting in the wrong place?" The man took out his ticket and shouted: "Look clearly, this is my seat, are you blind?" The girl looked at his ticket carefully, stopped making a sound, and stood silently beside him. After a while the plane took off, and the girl bowed her head and said to the man easily: "Sir, you are not in the wrong position, you are on the wrong plane!" "There is a kind of forbearance called making you regret that it is too late, if howling can solve the problem, donkeys will have ruled the world long ago!" 」

5. Today I met a monkey child in the car, and a young man came up on the car. At that time, he was playing with his mobile phone with his head down, and he did not lift the front of the car to prepare for coinage. Then the monkey child said in standard Mandarin: "Hello dear passengers, please coin when you get on the bus, and please get off after the coin is coined." "I saw that this guy really turned around and got out of the car after throwing the coin...

6. When I came home from work one day and walked to the underground garage, I saw a lady reversing the car. When I saw it, I enthusiastically stepped forward and commanded, "Down! Good bye! Good bye! Finally the car slammed into the wall. Then the lady came to me angrily, and I politely took out my business card and handed it to her: "Hello, I am from the auto repair plant opposite, and my name is discounted!" ”

7, some time ago I was sick, a few days of injections, today finally back to school! Dad saw that I had some long hair and had a sudden whim, and wanted to cut my hair himself... Looking at the big bald head in the mirror and the two bloody openings on the top of my head, I couldn't help but cry. Dad comforted me and said: This is also good, so no one will see your face!

8. After sending a small school break, he opened a noodle restaurant at the entrance of the community and found a sister as a waiter. One day, I went to the store to have a show. Fa Xiao pointed to the girl who was mopping the floor and quietly said to me: I see that there is no ??? But be diligent. Later, the two people fell in love for a long time and got married!!! When I went to the store again, it became a small hair mopping the floor, and the sister sat on the chair and said: Be diligent, there are still bowls that have not been brushed!!!?

9, my husband took advantage of my bath, peeked at my mobile phone, and found a text message: "So-and-so hotel, room 306." I came out of the shower and said, "I'll go out to the party in a moment and come back later." The husband smiled and said, "Okay, I see." Just as I was singing a happy birthday song with a group of friends around the cake in the hotel room, a strange man wearing a mask and holding a kitchen knife suddenly kicked the door open, then calmly walked over, cut the cake open, and said: "This is the service provided by this hotel for free, I wish you a happy meal, happy birthday!" ”

10, take the son to get a preventive injection, see the nurse crying, desperately struggling, helplessly had to say: "Baby is good, it is the father who wants the injection, not the baby injection." So it was quiet, the nurse took the opportunity to quickly wipe the alcohol, inject, push the medicine, pull the needle, in one go, the little baby has been very quiet, and then looked at the nurse with a blank face and said: "Auntie, you seem to have made a mistake, right?" ”

11. My sister-in-law wanted to look better when she was a camera anchor, so she went to the beauty salon and cut her double eyelids. Accidentally during the operation, the knife directly cut through the eyeball, so he became blind. The beauty salon compensated 4.5 million yuan, and my brother took this money and divorced my sister-in-law directly. He spent 20,000 yuan to study at Tsinghua University, mainly to seduce his sister. The brother took a fancy to a schoolgirl who every morning a pack of heart-shaped cookies and a bottle of milk. After two months of doing so, I finally chased the girl in my hand. In the morning, my brother went to see his girlfriend with a heart-shaped cookie. The girlfriend asked happily, "Where did you buy this cookie?" I went to a lot of supermarkets and couldn't buy this shape at all. The brother said triumphantly: "Of course you can't find it, this is all eaten out by me..."

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #