Went to the female colleague's home as a guest, there is nothing to take, I brought some specialties over, Feitian Maotai two boxes, Huazi five. The female colleague's parents smiled after receiving the gift, and they were attentive to me.

Went to the female colleague's home as a guest, there is nothing to take, I brought some specialties over, Feitian Maotai two boxes, Huazi five. The female colleague's parents smiled after receiving the gift, and they were attentive to me. After a while, the husband of the female colleague returned from work, carrying a bundle of green onions in his hand, and the parents of the female colleague directly rolled their eyes. During the meal, the female colleague's father asked me: "Boy, is there any object?" I see that you have such good conditions, there should be a lot of girls chasing you! "I subconsciously glanced at my female colleagues, most of them, but she didn't allow me to touch them." The female colleague glared at me and kicked me from under the table, I was angry, kicked back, and kicked her mother. Her mother gave me a blank look and didn't say a word. The husband of the female colleague felt that the atmosphere was not right, and some dull smoking, said: "Dad, you have smoked Chinese?" Have you made a fortune? The female colleague's father was not angry and said: "You are waiting for me to get rich?" You can't honor me a few times!" The female colleague's husband smiled awkwardly. The mother of the female colleague said: "These are all brought by Xiao Qiang, you look at the people Maotai, Huazi. ... When you first came to mention the relatives, you didn't take so much." Hey, my daughter got married early! The face of the female colleague's husband was suddenly wrong, he got up and slammed the door, and the female colleague's mother took the opportunity to say: "Boy, what do you think of my girlfriend?" Her father also said: "True love doesn't care about the second marriage, right?" The female colleague said: "What you said when you were naughty, how to say it now!" I suddenly found that there was no good person in this house, and I got up to say goodbye, and the female colleague snorted, came over and pinched me, and said: "Load, you will install it for me!" Say, marry an old woman or not? "I was afraid that their family of three would beat me, but I was a principled person, and in order not to be punched in the face, I said yes." Then, after tonight, I regret it again, what can they do?

2. The boss bought a box of Handi Moutai wine to put in his office, and found that he lost a bottle today. At the noon meeting, the boss said this seriously. He hopes that the person who stole the drink can take the initiative to admit his mistake and return it, so that he can not blame the past! Finally, the boss said: "In fact, fingerprints can be found on the box." "The boss went back to the office after lunch, and even the box of Handi Moutai wine was missing!"

3. My girlfriend and I talked for over a year, and because of his parents' disagreement, we separated. Just a year after the breakup, she suddenly met her father on the street. Although I didn't mind when I was there, I politely handed over a Chinese cigarette. Her father took two sips and said: You can be so successful, I really did not expect ah, I calculated that your boy is a life to eat, afraid of my daughter's suffering, so I will not let her follow you. But I never expected that I would make so much money now!

4. During today's self-study class, I was idle and bored and played brain teasers at the same table. The same table was very confident and said: You can ask at will, there is no brain teaser in this world that I can't solve! I asked: Angel, Magic Jewel, Stupid Headmaster, Wise Leader in a house, and now lost money, who did it? Before the table could answer, the class leader who passed by said: Stupid Principal, the other three do not exist at all.

5. On the weekend, a male colleague gets married, please go to the party. He specifically told me that his daughter-in-law had invited many female friends. So early in the morning, I went to the barbershop and trimmed my suit head. As a result, the master tossed me for half a day and said: Do you want to ignore an inch? I looked up, forgot it, and recognized it. As a result, after a while, the master said to me again: Light... Bald head into not? Look up again... I:......

6. In a chemistry class at school, the teacher did an experiment on the podium, and carbon dioxide would make the clarified lime water turbid. After doing it, I inadvertently found someone sleeping in the corner of the class. After letting the table wake him up, the teacher said: I just used a straw to blow air into this cup, why did the water become turbid? The classmate was stunned and said: The teacher's tone is poisonous!

7. The neighbor's big brother has a 6-year-old girl, one day the big brother asked his girl to look for a tape measure, and five minutes later the little girl said she was not looking for it! The eldest brother said: What can you do every day when you are so big? How far are you from being silly? The little girl took out a tape measure from her pocket and measured the distance between her and her eldest brother and said: 32cm! After the little girl finished measuring, she ran away, and the neighbor's big brother chased after her.

8. After drinking some wine, I went back to my hometown, got into the car and fell asleep, and woke up to find myself lying on the window of the old single stick in the village. The old bachelor said he saw me lying at the entrance of the village and picked me up and brought me home. Finally he asked me, "Dadong, are you looking for a girlfriend?" I said weakly, "No hurry! Like me so good, a table of talent, are you afraid of not finding it? I saw the old bachelor take a deep look at me and said, "Thirty years ago, I thought the same thing!" ”

  #Funny# #搞笑段子 #