1, last night's company party, female colleagues drunk, I drove her home. Carry her to bed and see that her coat is stained with wine, so I plan to take her coat off! Just pulled open the zipper,

1, last night's company party, female colleagues drunk, I drove her home. Carry her to bed and see that her coat is stained with wine, so I plan to take her coat off! Just as she pulled open the zipper, her mother pushed the door and saw it. I hurriedly explained, "Auntie, I...", and her mother smiled and closed the door: "It's all right, you continue!"

2. The old man used his life savings to buy a Pagani sports car and went home and parked in the most conspicuous parking space in the community. As a result, I woke up the next morning and found that the car had been scratched by a small ass child riding a bicycle. The old man immediately caught the child and asked him for his parents' mobile phone number. The old man called over: "Hello, your child scraped my car, you come over." The child's father: "What car do you drive?" The old man: "Pagani! The child's father: "Huh? Kids we don't want it anymore! "Toot..... honk..... Later, the old man couldn't answer the phone no matter how he called, so he had to let the child go... Isn't it just a Pagani! That child's father is also true, not even his own own children!

3. After graduating from college, I went to work for a well-known company. Once I accidentally did something wrong, the supervisor yelled at me: He also said that he would complain to me, and he said that one day you would be fired. All this was just seen by the female manager who passed by. The female manager said to me: It is inevitable that young people will make some mistakes, and they will pay attention next time. At that time, I was really moved, only I knew that the female manager was my aunt, and the chairman of the company was my good father! Or in a word, be low-key.

4. When Xiao Qiang took the train, he squeezed out one slipper, so he threw away the other slippers. The people around him asked doubtfully: Why are you like this? Xiao Qiang replied: One shoe is useless, but if someone picks up two, he can wear them. The person next to him seemed to understand something and nodded. Then he asked Xiao Qiang: Then why don't you throw your own?

5, just issued a salary of 22,000 yuan yesterday, after work to eat the buffet, after drinking and eating, I was about to get up and go, but I was stopped by the waiter, and I had to make up the difference. I looked at the empty table and asked angrily: Sister, I don't have leftovers, why should I make up the difference? The waiter said: Yes sir, you are not wasteful, but! We 19 yuan buffet hot pot, you did not eat anything, came to eat our five pounds of abalone, three pounds of lobster, but also drank two boxes of red wine, a box of yogurt, you said is not the need to make up the difference? "

6, in the Us group to deliver takeaway, the female supervisor menopause arrived, every day to find my stubble, so I am ready to aspire to her. Later, I pretended to chase her, bought her breakfast every day rain or shine, gave gifts every festive season, and asked her to watch movies when there was nothing wrong. A month later we both got better, and less than three days later, I broke up with her on the grounds that I was tired. As soon as she listened, tears flowed down her cheeks. Then she stood up and threw an over-the-shoulder !!!! Dare to be a practicing family, I will compare with him. Who knew that she was already a black belt, beat me up and said to me: This time when you are joking, the next time if you break up again, the consequences will be at your own risk...

7. When I was working in an electronics factory, I fell in love with the female supervisor of the factory, she was a white rich beauty, and the family was very rich. I wanted to confess to her, but I saw her driving the Mercedes e600 off work, and I rode the Yadi electric car, and I lost confidence in an instant. After the mother knew about this matter, she advised: Son, what are you afraid of, although you are very bad, but you have the opportunity to contact such a good person, it shows that she is destined to have this fate, you follow the destiny is. After listening to my mother's words, I was instantly full of confidence!

8. On this day, I accompanied my girlfriend who was 182 tall and just came out of the gym, and my girlfriend pulled me to her house. I'm curious what's going on. Girlfriend said: When I didn't get up the window in the morning, I had a fight with my husband, and I was afraid... Me: When have you ever been afraid? Besides, you have learned taekwondo, what can your husband's little arms and legs do to you? Girlfriend: No... Me: So what's the fear? Girlfriend: I'm still angry with him, I'm afraid to go back in case I do it, he gets hurt!

9, my husband bought the volkswagen cc that my father married to me, and got 160,000 yuan. After the money in the bank card arrived, my husband directly threw the card to me and said in an atmospheric manner: "Take it yourself, spend it as you like!" I asked, "What is the password?" The husband said, "Your birthday!" "I was touched and immediately went to the Dior counter and chose a lot of cosmetics. As a result, when checking out, the password was not correct twice. The third mistake was about to lock the card, I quickly returned the card, called my husband: "The password is not right, it is not my birthday, right?" The husband was stunned for two seconds, and Yu Yu said: "I remember wrong, it should be your mother's birthday!" ”?

10, I have been frantically looking for a job recently, this mood we should all understand, after I submitted a special number of resumes, I waited for a long time! finally! There's a company that asked me to go for an interview today! Brother: How's it going? Dude, did your interview work out? I said: It's so disgusting that they actually read the wrong resume!

11, I have a cat at home, I suddenly found that the cat is also very good at acting, once accidentally stepped on the cat's foot. The cat barked in pain, and I gave it a small dried fish as a gift of apology for several days. In the morning, I accidentally touched it again, but before I stepped on it, I immediately barked a few times, and then ran to the small dried fish and sat down and watched me quietly. I..."

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #