One day I had a quarrel with my husband, and I said: I tell you, now I want to divorce you, no one can stop me! Since that day, I have not been able to find my marriage certificate and household registration book. If

One day I had a quarrel with my husband, and I said: I tell you, now I want to divorce you, no one can stop me! Since that day, I have not been able to find my marriage certificate and household registration book. If it is useful, the husband will take it out, use it and hide it! Once, when I accidentally saw where I was hiding, I heard Erzhu muttering: I have to change places again.

2, the wife is a Sichuan girl, especially like to eat spicy, I follow her every day to eat hot pot skewers. Recently, it has been on fire, and the flesh of the teeth is swollen and painful, and even eating has become a problem. Suddenly remembered that a buddy had done the same before, and used a kind of folk remedy the next day. So I called and asked: "My tooth is swollen and painful, how can I get rid of the swelling as soon as possible?" The brother said busily: "Drink brandy, yes, attack the poison with poison, and soon the swelling will be reduced." I've been cured by this method. "It turns out I was wrong and I shouldn't have asked an alcoholic!"

3, three fools, shopping back to see a bubble of cow on the street. The big fool said: Giggles, it seems to be cow. The second fool walked over and grabbed it with his hand, looked at it and said: Giggling is estimated to be cow. The three fools walked over and grabbed it with their hands and tasted it with their mouths: Giggling, it is indeed cow

4, rainy days, the aunt in charge of the warehouse of the unit said to me: Xiao Liu, aunt sent you an umbrella. Red, yellow and blue three colors, you choose one. I said it was all the color of the girls, the aunt said that the blue was good, the boys used it, I happily took it downstairs, and after going out, I was speechless, and the seven degrees of space a few big characters sparkled on the umbrella Ah...

5. When laughing at the train, one shoe slipped off the car, and he immediately grabbed the other and threw it down. The people around him asked doubtfully, "Why are you doing this?" He smiled and replied, "One shoe is useless, but if someone picks up two, he can wear them." The person next to him seemed to understand something, nodded his head and said yes, and after a while he asked and smiled: "Then why don't you throw your own?" ”

6, today I went to the supermarket to see two handsome guys looking at sanitary napkins there, thinking that it was for women's tickets to buy or make a base. Just go to their shelves to see things and eavesdrop on them. As a result, they were heard saying, "This thing is very good to use, get some cold water when you have a fever, stick it on your head, it's good fast." "I knelt for them too.

7. Chat with a sister in the office today. I asked, "Do you know how many bones a man has?" "It's like 206!" "But I have one more than you now." The girl was stunned, then blushed and slapped her hand and said, "Hate! I quickly explained: "I have a fish thorn stuck in my throat!" ”

8, a man went to an African construction site on a business trip, and the local construction worker who received him was a black man. He communicated with people in English, and the black man didn't make a sound. Then he spoke again in French, and the Negro still did not speak. Then he used his hand to draw. The Negro finally spoke: "Blind gaha, the whole site is Chinese. 】

9, since my mother remarried, I have been living in the school dormitory, rarely go home... Today my mother called me and said, "Is the money enough?" I calmly said: "Mom, you don't have to give me money in the future, I live broadcast every day now, a kind uncle brushes gifts for me every day, I can now support myself..." The mother said: "The next time that uncle brushes gifts for you, you remember to call Daddy Oh..."

10, what's going on, how come there are still batteries in the pot? Waiter: "Sir, didn't you order spicy hot pot?" Me: "What does this have to do with batteries?" Waiter: "We ran out of peppercorns, thinking that the battery's electricity would be numb, so we replaced it with a battery..."

1 The girl walked to the goldfish stall: "Look at the fate, if you only use it once to catch a goldfish, I will consider being your girlfriend." The boss took the boy's ten dollars and took out a stainless steel colander for eating hot pot from behind: "There is no change to find, you use this to fish." ”

12, one day the teacher asked Xiaoming: Xiaoming, what do you want to do when you grow up. Bob: I grew up making a lot of money and selling an airplane. Teacher: Ambitious. Bob: I'll let you fly without buying a ticket in the future. Teacher: Xiaoming, you are really good to the teacher, and I have not wasted my name to teach you for so many years. Bob: When the plane was halfway through, I checked the ticket, you didn't have a ticket, and then I let you roll down.

13, last year's double eleven, the husband saw his wife's Taobao shopping cart full of things, a clever move, the money in the bank card are transferred to the mother's card, the wife if you want to ask, just say that the mother is anxious to use the money, after a while to transfer the money back. After the husband transferred the money, he was secretly proud, and his mother called, and she said excitedly on the phone: "Oh, or my son filial piety, I am worried about the double eleven, your father will not give money to buy things!" ”

14, today when I came home from work, my husband made me angry, tried all kinds of methods to coax me, and asked me what I wanted to do? I just don't say it, and when the time is almost up, I will throw him a box of sets and say that I will not forgive you unless I use it tonight. As a result, when I came out of the shower, he pointed to the balloon on the ceiling and said: Wife, it is used up, do you look romantic or not?