1, a sister walking in the park, met a man and said: 'Beauty gives you 100 pieces, can you see your breasts?' The girl did not say a word and received 100 yuan, and then looked at the man no

1, a sister walking in the park, met a man and said: 'Beauty gives you 100 pieces, can you see your breasts?' The sister received 100 yuan without saying a word, and then looked at the man and said dismissively: Are you ready? The man smiled triumphantly and nodded his head in response, "Mm-hmm, okay, okay!" Then the girl picked up the branches on the ground and slammed the man, while smoking, she said: Really TM perverted, actually like to see me fierce!

2, in the past when I was in school, I had pimples on my face, during class, I took a mirror to squeeze acne in the house, and as a result, my teacher saw it, and I said strongly that I peeked at the girls behind me, and I directly said angrily: I just looked at it, I looked at it again, you dropped me, I also looked, the teacher didn't react, the girl behind me directly gave me a slap!?

3, I play games all day without a problem, but I know a beautiful woman in the game. She was very beautiful and we met in reality and established a relationship. Drinking with friends this day, holding a picture of his girlfriend and asking in a show-off manner, "Is my girlfriend pretty?" A friend looked at my triumphant smile and said, "If I were to describe her as a bird, she would be like a swan!" If I had to describe her as a vegetable, she would be a good cabbage! If I had to describe her as a flower, all I could say was that she was a flower! ”?

4, mom's Nokia phone is broken, I took her to the store to buy the latest listed iPhone 12. After the mother got her hands on it, she took pictures everywhere, happy like a 200-pound child. When I got home, my mother showed me my phone: look at you I took! I exclaimed: When did you shoot it? The old mother was secretly proud: take advantage of your lack of attention, so that it is natural. Me: Ugly dead! The old mother said solemnly: But it is ugly and natural.

5, the most painful thing is not to get drunk, twenty drinking and doing stupid things friends to help you remember. In the evening, the brothers drank wine and ate skewers at the stall. Drinking and drinking, Xiao Zhao wanted to urinate, so he ran to the edge of a small tree not far away to solve it. After finishing the work, I couldn't go anywhere, so I fell asleep there. When I was about to leave, I found one less person, so I found it, and found it by the side of the small tree, and it turned out that this cargo used a belt to tie itself to the small tree!

6. Girlfriend: "Boss, add some coriander to the soup!" Boss: "I'm sorry Ha, there is no coriander, or put some green onions for you!" Girlfriend: "Okay, then the green onion will do." Boss: "I'm sorry, the green onions are gone!" Girlfriend: "Nothing, what do you say you have?" Boss: "Or, do you want to add some vegetable leaves to you?" ”

7. After arguing with her husband, I went back to my mother's house and complained at home that my husband was poor and not romantic. My mother persuaded me: What is this, I think when your father went to work in the field, he came back with a fertilizer bag and said excitedly, wife and wife, you guess what I caught you. Mom looked at the squirming bag, the little bunny? No! kitten? No! After guessing for half a day without success, Dad opened the bag and scared Mom directly into crying, and inside were three small snakes! After hearing this, I was also relieved.?

8, the cousin went to his girlfriend's house to propose, the cousin's future father-in-law was very satisfied with the cousin, and finally told the cousin: "Child, you have to promise me, no matter what the circumstances, I feel that I will not beat my girlfriend!" Can it be done? When the cousin heard this, he immediately took off his shirt, pointed to the fist mark of Wu Qing on his chest and said, "Uncle, do you see the authentic seven wounded fists that your girlfriend hit?" The future father-in-law also took off his shirt and pointed to the black green on his chest: The is the most authentic! ”

9, like female colleagues for a long time, today's salary I borrowed a lot of money to buy her a necklace, I finally plucked up the courage to confess to her! The female colleague looked at me for a long time and said, "Give the necklace back to you!" My heart was cold: "Don't you like me?" The female colleague smiled and said: "After all, it is a family, and it is very expensive to return the necklace." "Haha, happiness came so suddenly! Finally, I have a sister-in-law!

10. An editor got drunk and asked the editor-in-chief why his article had not been published. The editor-in-chief was not angry, but patiently asked him to open the magazine for the day. The editor-in-chief asked, "Do you see any blank space in the magazine where your article is published?" The editor replied, "No. Editor-in-Chief: "That's why it wasn't published!" ”

11. Today I worked overtime in the unit until the early morning, and it was late at night when I got on the elevator in the community. Just when I pressed the floor came up a girl, very cute. I decided to have some fun, to scare her, and said grimly: Little sister, can you see me? The little girl looked at me and said, "Uncle, you're so fat, how can I not see you, is it not your mother?" I'm going, aren't you alone? I was so scared that I went home and immediately changed my pants... ??

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #