1. In the New Year, the son-in-law came to his father-in-law's house to visit relatives, and at that time, the brother-in-law asked: Brother-in-law, when can you give my sister happiness and let my sister enjoy the beauty of life. Aren't you going to buy a bigger house in your lifetime? The brother-in-law said: There is no money now! But I have a beautiful and lovely daughter, and when I grow up, I will find a rich husband to marry, and then I will be able to live in a big house with your sister. My father-in-law said unhappily: I thought the same thing at the beginning...
2, Qingming Festival came back, saw a colleague with a forehead injury, so I asked him what was wrong. A colleague said: My father was not in good health a few years ago, so every year I went to the family grave by myself, and this year my father was better, so he went with me. Me: It's good that my uncle is getting better! Colleague: The problem is that he found that the clan grave that I had been worshiping for several years belonged to someone else's house, and our own family was buried in the grass, so he asked me to prostrate myself in front of the clan grave until it was bleeding.
3, at night to eat the daughter-in-law is nagging again, pointing fingers at me, looking like a family man. Unable to bear it, I threw away my chopsticks and said loudly: You are a female man, can't you be gentle, considerate, and sprinkle me with some pampering? The wife said: "Okay, I'll just spoil, cao up a bottle of things on the table and throw it on my head, and my scalp hurts." I touched it down and looked, oops, wild pepper!
4, girlfriend is a housewife, but recently found that she gets up at five o'clock every day to send a circle of friends. I felt strange and asked her why she was up so early? Girlfriend: I don't want to wake up, but the man next to me wakes me up on time every day. I was surprised and said: Have a boyfriend? Girlfriend: A few days ago, A son was born next door, and every day it was at that point when I cried on time...
5, meet with the female weather forecaster, after a conversation, the boy asked the girl: "From tomorrow onwards, I will be very busy, can not date you, will you miss me?" Girl: "Tonight to tomorrow daytime a little miss you, it is expected that tomorrow afternoon will continue to think of you, affected by the prolonged low mood, tomorrow evening will turn into a big to violent thoughts, the mood will be reduced by 5 degrees, it is expected that this kind of weather will continue until I see you." ”
6. The father-in-law lost more than 200,000 gas for a sudden cerebral thrombosis and was sent to the hospital for rescue. When he woke up, the doctor prescribed him a pair of medicines and said to him, "The effect is twelve hours." The father-in-law nodded after listening, and then laughed all the time inside the hospital bed. I thought my father-in-law was stupid, so I asked, "Dad, what's wrong with you?" The father-in-law said, "What kind of medicine did this doctor prescribe to me, I had to laugh for twelve hours, and I was almost exhausted from laughing!" ”
7, in elementary school, the little fart children are ignorant of ah, the heart likes who is not very good at expressing, they know to make bad. I remember liking a girl and bullying her a lot, and once I lit her hair with a lighter and covered her head with a coat. She kicked me with a flying leg, grabbed my ear, and shouted, If you dare to flirt with the old woman again? Now that I think about it, I really regret it, I should tease her again...
8, eating, biting my tongue, a scream of pain is too painful to speak, and then my good friend ran to me and asked, "What's wrong with you?" I pointed to the rice, then to my mouth, and spit some blood on the ground, and the two goods jumped up and shouted: "Don't eat it, the rice is poisonous!" ”
9, take the son to take the bus, when buying a ticket, the son needs to measure the height, just 1 meter 2, the conductor said full ticket. I was ready to buy a ticket, and my son said: Wait a minute. Only to see my son take off his shoes, spit a little saliva into his hands to smooth his hair, and said: Measure again! The result was almost 1 meter 2, and the conductor obviously had a twitch in his face.
10, the drowsiness at night is like a sudden guest, you must immediately and carefully greet it. It is not enough not to immediately throw away everything in your hands and receive this great master wholeheartedly. If you drag it out a little, such as taking a shower, reading some books, and eating a supper. It immediately turned its face, turned around without a trace, could not call back no matter how much it called, and then could only open its eyes until midnight...
11. Before graduation, a girl sold books at the entrance of the canteen and wrote in large characters: Buy books and send them to her sister. A student pretended to turn over the book and asked by the way: Can you really send books to your sister? Sister replied: Yes, tomorrow night at 8 o'clock train, remember to send sister ah!
12. Once, when I went to Shanghai on a business trip, the students working in Shanghai invited them to dinner for the best of the landlord. I took a taxi from the hotel at two o'clock, turned seven times, all the way to the red light, and when I touched the agreed place, it was nearly five o'clock in the evening, and I was exhausted from this meal. At the dinner table, classmate Hai Kan: "In this place of Shanghai, if you have a vendetta against anyone, invite him to dinner, and make sure to toss him to death." ”
13. "What is romance?" What is money? "For example, if you have a birthday, a romantic and rich boyfriend will take you to a candlelit dinner for 8,000 yuan; a romantic but no-money boyfriend will light a candle for you but no dinner; and a boyfriend who is not romantic and has no money will only take you to the bun shop to eat buns." 」 "What about an unromantic but rich boyfriend?" "Oh, he'll take you to the bun shop and eat 8,000 bucks of buns."
14, these days are a little cold, so in the evening to call a few small partners to eat hot pot together. After a while, the water in the pot was a little boiling, so I called the waiter to come over and help reduce the fire. Because it was a little busy, the waiter came over after a long time, and I just threw a piece of hot tofu in my mouth, and I was a bit vicious in the face and grinned. The waiter was terrified! Then he looked wary: "Brother! We have something to say, but don't bite people! ”
![The vigorous love affair between husband and wife has passed, the sweet honeymoon has also passed, and the next step is to methodically enter the period of living at home. During this period neither zhang[fig]](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=)