I'm a courier, and there's one thing I have to say! The girl who lives on the 7th floor of the No. 2 compound paper, you have been noting on the list: I am pregnant please deliver to the door. I've sent you the whole thing

I'm a courier, and there's one thing I have to say! The girl who lives on the 7th floor of the No. 2 compound paper, you have been noting on the list: I am pregnant please deliver to the door. I've been delivering you home deliveries for a whole year, and I want to ask you: Are you pregnant with Nezha?

2. At the moment when the high-speed rail started, one of the shoes of the second generation of the rich seat next to it was squeezed off the high-speed rail, and then he picked up another shoe and threw it out. I asked FuJidai, "What are you doing!" Fu Er Dai said: "Anyway, it is useless to leave a shoe, all thrown away by others to pick up and a pair of shoes to wear." I said, "I mean! Why are you throwing my shoes!" ”

3, go out with your girlfriend, two people selling cold skins on the side of the road quarrel. The man took a glass of water and spilled it out, and it all spilled on himself. The girlfriend quietly pulled down me and said: Does the man want to prove that his leather coat is waterproof? I couldn't stop laughing: he must be an idiot. I'll go! The words were heard by the man, who was stunned to carry a pot of boiling water and chased me for three miles!

4. Seeing my little nephew's college entrance examination results reminds me of my high school life. At that time, I had always been a well-known bully in my class, and everyone thought that I could successfully enter Tsinghua University. Who knew that all this was shattered on the day of the college entrance examination, and looking at my college entrance examination results, I cried into tears. Suddenly a scum hugged me, and wow also cried: "Woohoo! I was not admitted to Tsinghua Peking University! I was in a better mood and said, "Can you please give me a little more seriousness!" Scum: "I was admitted to Stanford, that's the one who spent 5 million to get on!" ”

5, the mother-in-law was hospitalized, I bought some fruit to visit the hospital. When I came out, I saw my ex-girlfriend's mother and hurried in. So I stepped forward and asked, "Auntie, do you remember me?" Who knew that she had a look of disgust: "I don't know if I know or not, I'm not free now!" I immediately panicked and pulled her aside and asked, "Is there something wrong with her?" She couldn't break free, pointed at my nose and angrily exclaimed, "Today you are going to hurt me to pull in my pants, believe it or not I killed you!" ”

6, a friend made a sweater for his boyfriend, very beautiful, who sees who praises. After a few days, he didn't see it, asked him why, he said: The girlfriend used the rest of the wool, and then knitted a piece for her puppy, and when the dog was slipping, someone always said "couple shirt".

7, today saw an old man fell, so I went to help, did not expect him to grab my hand, I hurriedly said: monitoring will return my innocence! The old man said: Hey hey don't be stupid here there is no monitoring! I kicked straight over. TMD did not monitor and dared to hang like this. His son appeared in time and said, We recorded the video of you kicking people on the side. I sneered and showed the certificate of acute transient mental disorder provided by Nanjing.

8, Valentine's Day has no lover, so I plan to pick the roses I planted in the small garden to accompany myself to celebrate the festival. When I arrived, I found that my little garden was bald, and there was not a single flower left. Just wanted to scold people, the little nephew jumped back, holding back the fire and asking the little nephew who picked it? The little nephew raised his face and said innocently: Today's Valentine's Day, I gave it to Xiaomei next door. As soon as I heard it, I was on fire, chasing my nephew while shouting: I dare to fall in love at a young age, see if I can't teach you a good lesson today! At this time, my mother ran over to beat me with a broomstick: you are a dead, no one is chasing you, see your nephew has a girl like you and you are still red-eyed!

9, Ah Guang traveled for a week, came back without entering the house to inquire to the apartment administrator: "Has anyone come to my wife during my business trip, especially a strange man?" Administrator: "No, only one who delivered the newspaper came the day before yesterday." Ah Guang breathed a sigh of relief: "It seems that I am worried." The administrator said, "But he hasn't come down yet!" Ah Guang: "xo... xo*&^...”

10. After school, my son came back with a big heart. He said to me, "Mom, the teacher is unreasonable." I asked, "What's wrong?" He said: "There is a question that asks 910 students to cross the river only one boat, a trip can only take 3 people, how many times can it be carried?" I said 304 trips, and the teacher said 303 trips. I thought the teacher was right and said, "Isn't that right?" The child asked me, "Mom, don't the boats want people to come over?" ”

1 high school at school, two roommates do not know why quarreled, quarreled fiercely, two people close to the body spray, seeing that it is going to fight, I do not know how to think, go up to a hand a head to the middle of a press, mouth to mouth kiss, one second murderous, the next second each find a cup of water to gargle

12. Collective life is an important driving force for the development of the child's self towards the path of socialization; Necessary for the normal development of the child's psyche. A child who is unable to attain this normal development may remain a tragedy for the rest of his life. --Tao Xingzhi

13. Several summer vacation disciples are responsible for washing the clothes of the monks of the whole monastery, and in order to encourage them, the abbot often says: As long as you are willing to work hard, the laundry can also be greatly repaired. But gradually the other disciples were tired, and only one young disciple always remembered the abbot's teachings and washed every piece of clothing with his heart. The kung fu paid off, and finally the abbot was touched by his carefulness and promoted him to deacon. The attentive young disciple found several long hairs in the abbot's robe.

14, this morning was very cold, and then with a shiver to get up, endured the pain to go to the toilet to wash your face, wash your hair and brush your teeth, and smeared some hand cream to dress up beautifully, and when I was preparing to go to work, I found that this was actually just a dream! I rub it, then I have to get up again! Oh my God, you still kill me...