01.
On the Internet, there is a hot post: "I am a daughter, should I share the pension with my brother?" ”
The owner is 36 years old, she has an older brother, her parents are good to both brothers and sisters, she has good grades in reading since she was a child, and her parents have always taken money for her to study.
At the university and graduate level, there are scholarships for the paster's excellent grades, and her parents do not need to give other money except for living expenses, but compared with girls of the same age, she feels that her parents have done a good job.
But compared with her brother, the owner still has a sense of loss, before she went to the fourth grade of primary school, she was wearing her brother's old clothes, super ill-fitting styles, which made her feel inferior at one time, and she went home earlier than her brother during the holidays, and her mother only made home-cooked dishes, delicious ribs and chicken, fish, etc., and needed to wait for her brother to come home before doing it.
After growing up and getting married, the relationship between the sister-in-law and her parents was very bad, the father was seriously ill in the hospital, the brother did not call, and when the father was almost dead, the brother came back and took turns with his sister for 3 months.
The father was very disappointed in his brother, and advised the mother to live with his daughter in the future, worried that the son would not be able to filial piety to the mother, the father died, in front of the relatives, the brother said that he wanted to take the mother to live in his own home, he was willing to support the mother, and the mother agreed.
As a result, not long after, my brother and sister-in-law offered to buy a car, and my mother gave me the money to watch them drive back to visit the grave, and my sister felt very uncomfortable in her heart, feeling that her brother was showing off.
Later, the brother also proposed to transfer the old house to the nephew, the sister thought it was too early, the mother was angry: "Why do you still want to fight for the house?" ”
The mother finally could not get by at her brother's house, she had a conflict with her sister-in-law, and the mother called and proposed to live in her daughter's house, so that the brothers and sisters took turns to support themselves, and the family lived for 8 months.
She took her mother to her side and found that her mother's attitude was different, although she would also help her with the child, but she needed to wait for her daughter to return to buy things, and at her brother's house, the living expenses were taken by the mother, and she felt that her mother still regarded herself as an outsider, no matter how she treated her mother, the mother would leave the property to her son.
She was unbalanced in her heart and felt very heartache, why was it that children who were also parents were also required to support the elderly equally, and their mothers still treated them differently?
02.
Below this post, the attitude of netizens is divided into two types.
The first is to make it clear to the mother.
Some netizens said: "The mother is a son preference, my family is also this situation, no matter how good it is to the mother, she only has a son in her heart, you do not need to be aggrieved, directly put it forward, call the relatives over to notarize, if you want to share the pension equally, divide the parents' property equally." ”
This answer was praised by many people, and the attitude was clear and firm, leaving the question to the mother.
But if it does, it can be expected that there will be a quarrel, because the brother will not think that he has taken advantage.
Favored by his mother for many years, he has become accustomed to taking, just like Su Mingcheng in "All Is Good", he believes that his parents' property should be his own, and filial piety to his parents needs to be shared equally, because you are all children raised by your parents.
On the day of sending off his mother, Su Mingyu drove away, his mother's ashes were scattered on the ground, and his father Su Daqiang closed his eyes in pain, perhaps he had foreseen a tragic end.
The daughter does not suffer from poverty, uneven suffering, even if the family is poor, the parents can treat their children equally, she is willing to support the parents, otherwise, she will feel wronged.
Because everyone's heart has the need to be loved, without love, there will be emptiness in the heart.
The second is nothing less pretentious.
Some netizens said: "Parents are good enough for you, when you are in graduate school, your mother also helps you wash your clothes, there are several mothers who can do it, and the mother is not a penny that has not been given to you, but it is less, she comes to you and helps you with your children, is it not to reduce your burden?" You should not argue with your mother, who is not perfect, and you must also be filial. ”
This part of the netizens is very kind, the thinking is more traditional, based on goodness, filial piety as the root, there is no fault.
But there is another saying that goes like this: "Do not persuade others to be good without suffering." ”
There is no way to empathize with each other, standing in the perspective of bystanders, they all hope to see the beautiful picture of fatherly love and filial piety, but those who really experience it, the grievances of favoritism for many years, are really not something that can be smoothed out by a few words.
03.
Among the many answers, one netizen said that it was very emotionally intelligent.
"I am also a daughter, my parents' preference for sons and daughters ruined my life, it turned out that I didn't want to die, now I want to open, you don't want to compare with your brother, your brother and your mother are single-line contact, you and your mother are also single-line contact, your mother's relationship is not through each other's introduction, you will return your mother's efforts to you to her." Everyone cultivates each other, there is no need to compare, understand? ”
This is really comfortable, it makes sense to savor it carefully, and people's grievances come from comparison.
As long as there is comparison, there are highs and lows, and it is difficult for anyone to level a bowl of water.
Parents are not perfect, they have their own values, thousands of years of traditional concepts can not be changed at once, let alone because of your quarrel, she will reflect.
Maybe in the mother's mind, she has not done anything wrong, compared to other parents, she is much better for her daughter, but the property still has to be left to her grandson.
The daughter does not want a house, but she is not accustomed to the mother's unreserved dedication to her son, and coupled with the fact that the sister-in-law does not get along well with the mother, it is inevitable that she will have some worries.
From each other's point of view, everyone is reasonable, and who can't convince anyone, then, you may as well change yourself and do your part.
When it comes to parental eccentricity, some people think that it is a preference for sons over daughters, but in fact, it is not entirely due to gender, and it is also related to personal feelings.
In "Dream of the Red Chamber", Shi Shi has two sons, Jia Yu is a concubine, but he did not inherit the family property, and his younger brother Jia Zheng inherited, he was also unbalanced in his heart, and also told stories at the Mid-Autumn Festival banquet to allude to his parents' eccentricity.
You will find that even if they are sons, parents will favor one over the other, some children are sweet,that is, they can make their parents happy; some children are introverted and rarely communicate with their parents, and parents will also make some preferred actions towards a child according to their own inner preferences.
If it is not too excessive, the children do not have to dwell on it, you can't let go, the only thing that hurts is yourself.
Parents can only manage the first half of their own life, and your efforts can determine the second half of their lives.
As for the brothers who are favored, give time to prove that how much we get is not ability, and it is the ability to earn it back by our own efforts.
Give yourself a thumbs up! What do you think about that? Do you think your daughter should share alimony equally with her brother?