1. When the car was running out of gas when I got off the highway, I said to my wife: "Do you believe it or not, we go to the service area of the exit to refuel, and we can go without giving money?" Naturally, the wife did not believe it. Add in the service area

1. When the car was running out of gas when I got off the highway, I said to my wife: "Do you believe it or not, we go to the service area of the exit to refuel, and we can leave without giving money?" Naturally, the wife did not believe it. After refueling in the service area, I said to the staff: "I didn't bring money, ask your webmaster to come and see what to do?" After a while, a young man came over, and as soon as he saw me, he said helplessly to the staff: "Let him go, that is my old uncle Lai, I will pay for the oil." ”

2. My sister took her to a beef noodle restaurant to eat when my sister had no food, and my sister asked for a beef noodle. Later, I only saw onions and green peppers, and my sister picked a little beef for half a day and didn't find it, so I heard her shout out very gently: Waiter! A clerk came over and asked: Beauty, what can I do to help you? Sister smiled: Do you have a chef called beef? Clerk: No. The sister shouted: What about the old woman's beef! The brother-in-law could only bow his head and eat silently...?

3. When the flight attendant's cousin gives birth to the child, the child is seriously out of shape. So the cousin forced his cousin to divorce and remarried a naturally beautiful model. One day when my cousin came home from work, my new cousin immediately wrapped herself around him and cried. The cousin was frightened and hurried to ask the reason. The new cousin said: "I used your hard-earned money to support him, buy him food, buy clothes, and let him sleep in the evening, the boy is not only not grateful, but actually said that I am a harem, I want to run away from home!" Cousin: "Honey, don't be in a hurry, see what to do with a child, where has he gone, I will go to find him back!" New cousin: "He said he went to his daughter-in-law's house and looked for another parent!" "The cousin was speechless at that time, this little cub, so young to elbow out, grow up to have to, a beating can not be solved, must be beaten twice!"

4. After work, I was eating at a noodle restaurant and heard a beautiful woman next to me on the phone. She said: Hey, husband, our house is too hot, I heard that Ma Er Daifu is cool, but I don't like many people, you just buy it! My violent temper, at that time, I couldn't listen to it, how could I be so pompous, so shameless, so able to blow. So I immediately pulled out my Apple 11 mobile phone: Hey, Dad, Ma Er Daifu can't sell it, you said you would leave it for me to wash my feet!

5. Since the birth of a son, the topic of chatting with girlfriends has always been inseparable from the child. Chatting with my girlfriend, my girlfriend was very distressed and said: "Our children like to suck their fingers, how can not change, no way, a fierce heart I bought some chili oil to wipe on the fingers." I was stunned for a moment and hurriedly asked, "So have you changed it now?" Unexpectedly, the girlfriend listened, immediately did not hit a place, said: "Don't mention, now this child, no chili sauce does not eat!" ”

6. - In the middle of the night, a couple is at home, hears a knock on the door, and the man asks, "Who?" The outsider replied, "Neighbor, you forgot to pull out the key to your house, and it hangs on the door." The man just wanted to open the door, and the wife said, "Isn't your key on the table?" The man said to the outside, "I'm at home with the key." "There was no movement outside, and through the door mirror I saw three men sneaking away." If the door is opened, the consequences are unimaginable!! "

7. When I left work in the winter evening, I saw a father and son in the bridge hole on the way home. The son and the father trembled in the cold wind and comforted the son: "Dad... Don't be afraid, didn't you tell me that those who have accomplished great things in ancient times must first suffer their minds, strain their bones, starve their bodies, and empty their bodies... It's God who makes us useful! Father was angry: "You little cub shut me up, I failed the exam and was kicked out of the house by your mother, even if you pulled me on the back, told me to hide money, now it's good, no one wants to enter the house!" "I...

8. When my husband came to my house, he found that my family was also very poor, so he tricked me into signing a divorce agreement and eloped with a 60-year-old rich woman. Aunt Wang next door looked at me alone and was very pitiful, so she introduced me to an object. I met at a restaurant that day, and before I could look at the blind date, the other person said: Let's go get a license, right? I couldn't stand such a fast pace at all, and shook my head decisively and said no! The blind date said happily: Haha, I am waiting for your words! I didn't react, he was already driving away.

9. The brother-in-law is the foreman of the contract, and a big project is 100,000. One day, the brother-in-law took 200,000 yuan to prepare to pay the workers, and was robbed when he was about to arrive at the construction site. The brother-in-law did not say a word, and shouted in his throat: Robbery, your salary has been robbed!!! Dozens of migrant workers suddenly picked up hammers, steel shovels, and iron pickaxes and rushed out. The robber was dumbfounded on the spot, and fell to his knees and shouted: Spare your life!!!

10. I have been working in Haidilao for a year and earned 100,000 yuan! For various reasons, all I was sent was cash. I had to go to the bank to deposit it, and the clerk said to me: "Sir, I need an ID card to deposit more than 100,000." "I looked for it and found that the ID card was forgotten at home. I said, "At home, just be accommodating!" The clerk said, "How about that!" This is the rule! More than 100,000 must be ID card! I thought for a moment and said, "Then save 99999.9 yuan." ”

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