Mom said that a few days ago, Grandpa slapped himself again. I heard the tears of pain.
"Grandpa is because he has Alzheimer's disease, he can't take care of his grandmother, and he feels that he is dragging down his children, so he punched himself in the face." I asked Mom.
"I think so." Mom said.
The cause of the matter is very simple, it starts with a quilt. Mom found that the quilt was missing, and she didn't find it for a long time.
Mom asked Grandpa if he had seen it? Grandpa said he hadn't seen it.
But later, when my mother was cleaning up the bed, she found that the quilt had been put away by the industrious grandfather and put it in the quilt cover.
Mom said inadvertently, "I'll just collect things later." ”
So Grandpa got angry with himself, felt useless, and beat himself up.
When people are old, it is natural for children to take care of them in their old age. But Grandpa was so stubborn that he hoped that he would not drag his children down, as if aging and forgetting had lost their dignity.
Such a grandfather is heart-wrenching. He had an eraser in his mind, and he was afraid that one day he would forget himself, forget the lover he had hurt all his life, forget his children.
"What is the point of people living and forgetting everything?" He fights himself in this way. Because of similar things, he beat himself up more than once.
What I want to say, however, is that being alive is meaning in itself. As long as you are alive, your children will have a home to return to; as long as you are alive, there will be a reunion during the Spring Festival; as long as you are alive, your grandmother will be able to see you again...
Grandpa was still doing farm work
Grandpa was tall, masculine, modest and capable, kind and generous, optimistic and upright. Grandpa loves to laugh, never has to be arrogant to people, and he will never ask others for what he can do.
Grandpa's life, flowing with the blood of simple rural laborers, shines brightly on us descendants.
I am middle-aged, and I have seen the world in love. But Grandpa's love for Grandma is the template for all the love I've ever seen, and I can't find a better love than them.
My vision of love also began with my grandfather's love for my grandmother, and having such a man in my life, treating myself so kindly, should be the most beautiful look of love.
One winter when I was a teenager, my grandmother got sick and needed an infusion. Grandpa held the infusion set in one hand from beginning to end, allowing the liquid to warm up and flow into Grandma's veins, while the other large hand covered the needle in Grandma's hand. At that time, I thought: Grandpa is really good to Grandma, will I meet such a good man?
Grandpa's back
It is said that love should have ideological resonance, grow together, and achieve each other, and Grandpa may not know how to achieve each other. But his love for his grandmother was so single-minded, and even after having many children, he also put his grandmother first.
In the family's affairs, Grandpa took care of most of them. In my memory, when I went to the field to do farm work, the figure of my grandfather, the figure of my uncle and aunt, the figure of my aunt, the third aunt, and the little aunt all have traces in my mind, but the figure of my grandmother is rare. Grandma was at home responsible for three meals a day, washing clothes, and being a proper housewife. These chores are much easier than farm work. Grandpa was reluctant to entrust the farm work to Grandma.
I had occasionally heard my grandmother complain about my grandfather, but I had never seen my grandfather have any dissatisfaction with my grandmother. Wash the pot casually, sweep the floor, fold the quilt neatly, these things for Grandpa, is his own pleasure, who makes him reluctant to let his woman do it?
When I was a child, I slept with my grandmother, and at night my grandfather turned on the lights; on a cold winter night, the cat did not want to get up in the warm bed, the coal-burning stove, my grandfather would always get up in the middle of the night to see it once or twice; it was too cold, and sometimes even the housework of getting up to do breakfast was robbed by my grandfather.
Grandma will never ride a bicycle in her life, and Grandpa is Grandma's legs. As long as there is time, I will take my grandmother to the market. There are always fixed days for large and small markets in the countryside, and catching up with the market is the biggest entertainment life for the countryside twenty or thirty years ago.
At the age of 70, my grandmother fell, her pelvis was broken, and she has been bedridden for ten years. Before Grandpa got Alzheimer's disease, whenever there was a stage singing in a nearby village, Grandpa would also find a way to take Grandma to the liveliness and listen to the play. He didn't want his wife, whom he loved all his life, to be left in that little bed. He took his wife to see their world as far as he could.
How did you find out that your grandfather had Alzheimer's disease? The meat in the refrigerator freezer smelled bad, and he completely forgot that there was still meat in the refrigerator; after he fed his grandmother the medicine, he gave her medicine to eat, fortunately, there was a grandmother reminding...
Now Grandpa's memory is getting less and less. Just finished eating, maybe 5 minutes later forget, after a while, just watch him open up to cook again; of course, the medicine he just took will also forget, so the medicine at home is hidden by his mother, because I don't know when he will find it again to eat...
This Spring Festival back, all the people's grandfathers still recognize. However, as far away as Beijing, in my grandfather's slap on his face again and again, I deeply felt my grandfather's fear, self-blame, and denial of himself. He was afraid that one day he would forget us; he blamed himself, and one day he would not be able to take care of his wife any longer and drag down his children.
He doesn't allow himself to be a useless person.
A man, all he wants in his life is self-reliance, self-esteem, and taking good care of his lover, but in the end, Alzheimer's disease will take away everything from him, and finally give him not even a little dignity.
But for us, this man is already the best husband, father, grandfather, grandfather, even grandfather, grandfather, he is stronger than everyone.
Even though Alzheimer's disease will take away all of Grandpa's memories, the life he has lived has long since become a brand of our descendants. He never told us to be independent, to be brave, to be self-reliant, but he used his long life to write his own life legend little by little.
I want to tell my daughter how good a man can be, and how good she is to have a grandfather.