Do you remember your name when you became a mother?

After becoming a mother, do you remember your name?

Who are you?

In the past few years, friends around me have successively had children, and basic life revolves around children.

Seventy percent of women would change their name to xxx mom.

In those years, the screen name that had been painstakingly thought out was not important.

The other day, I received a lot of private messages, almost all of which are:

I am a mom of several children and I want to how to...

I went to look at their homepage, almost all of them are xxx mothers, and the children are more than one word of the child's name spelled together.

So, who are you, besides being xxx mom?

It is xxx's wife, xxx's daughter-in-law, or the daughter of her parents.

Do you remember your own name?

Remember who you are? Is my childhood essay "My Dream" really just an essay?

Because, I am the mother of several children, in order to accompany the growth of children, I sacrificed my career, dreams, is willing, only mothers can understand this helplessness.

Admittedly, you are a great mother, but you are touched only by yourself.

When the child is older, if you ask him, do you want such a mother?

Probably most of the child's answers will break you down and he doesn't want to.

When my son was four years old in kindergarten, one day after school, my son had to walk and play with Yaya, the most well-behaved person in the class.

Yaya took my hand and said,

Auntie, you are so pretty, fragrant, Yaya can also dress up beautiful when she grows up.

Four-year-old doll, I teased her, then you tell me how beautiful auntie is?

Yaya said:

Auntie has a good smell of oranges (I use a fruity perfume), she also wears lipstick, her eyes are also boling (bright eyeshadow), and she can wear high heels, which is how beautiful princesses will dress up.

I continued to ask her, isn't Mom pretty?

IELT THOUGHT FOR A MOMENT AND SAID:

Mom could only cook, never dressed up, didn't wear skirts, wasn't a pretty princess.

Yaya's mother was embarrassed for a moment, smiled and said:

I take care of you every day, you still have two brothers, where do I have time to take care of myself, I don't feel sorry for my mother's hard work, and I hate my mother for not being beautiful.

Later, in a small talk, Yaya's mother complained:

I think I am like this when I am a daughter-in-law, very qualified, and when I return to my hometown in the New Year, I can still kill pigs!

You said that I save money to eat and use, do not wear makeup, save money to buy a house for my son, and save a dowry for the girl What is wrong?

Now that my two sons are older and both go to college, they don't like to go home and don't like to talk to me, and they think I'm nagging and uneducated.

My daughter thinks I don't dress up or be pretty.

My husband and I have nothing to say, I think communication is difficult...

Yaya's mother's last sentence made me particularly heartfelt:

When the children were young, they were particularly sticky to me, and how they grew up, they all began to alienate me...

Children will grow up and will leave you, but what about you? Will you be willing to find yourself after leaving your child's dependence?

When the child is young, we do have to pay more effort to take care of the child.

No one can deny the greatness of a mother who gives her child wholeheartedly.

But you have to remember your name, remember yourself.

In the process of the child's slow growth, it is reasonable and decent to withdraw from the child's life.

This so-called withdrawal is to give the child and himself a reasonable space, let the child solve the difficulties he encounters, and he will come to you for help when he needs your help.

And you, remember that whether you work or not, you must have a favorite thing to do, if you really can't do anything, even if it is reading, you are precipitating yourself.

As the children grew up, they cared more about and were more proud that my mother was the most capable.

Once when I was taking my son full-time, the kindergarten had a sharing session every month, and I specially bought a cartoon-shaped cake machine and made small pastries with my son.

My son will proudly say when he shares:

It was created by me and my mom.

Unlike other children who buy snacks, let children have a sense of participation, the envy of other children will make him feel great, will feel that the mother is better.

Later, when the children were older, I started working, picking up my son from school at 4:30 every day, all of which were me.

Later, I started my own business, opened a shop, and my time was more free, and I took my children with me when I was busy, and I was busy doing crafts or playing with toys.

By the third grade of this year, in order to accompany him to write essays, I began to write articles from the media headlines, and occasionally shared some experiences with him.

My son's good friend Zhang Bao, whose parents divorced in the first grade, can go to school by themselves, finish school, complete their homework, and go to the snack shop to order food by themselves.

He was also brought up by his mother, but his mother ran the clinic herself, and she was very busy, and there was no time to take care of him.

Since then, children have become particularly independent.

Now Zhang Bao is nine years old, in the fourth grade, and can already cook for his mother.

Zhang Bao said:

I'm proud to take care of my mom.

Although they are our children, they are also an independent individual, they have the right to grow independently, as parents, we must properly learn to quit, to give children enough free growth space.

Remember there was a joke that used to say:

The stupid bird flies first, the most annoying kind of person who does not fly himself, and lays an egg to let the child fly hard.

Many moms have said things like this:

Mom has a dream, for you to give up, you must help your mother realize this dream in the future.

So your dream is a child's dream?

Don't make too many decisions for your children, this society scolds Mom bao men on the one hand, and does not let go of its own children on the other.

Take care of your children while doing something you love.

Remember your own name, and remember your child's name.

You're not just xxx mom, you're yourself.

The child is not just your child, he is himself, he has his life to live.

In this world, more important than hard work is love.

Infect the child with love and enthusiasm to do what he likes and is right.

From the moment the child lands on the ground, it means that he has the right to grow freely like you.

We should be mothers, be children's friends, teachers, and be his strongest backing, but please don't be your child's planner and let your child live according to your expected life.

The end of life is always the same, long or short.

In the end, whether it is worth it or not is up to you.

What you think is good is not necessarily what I think is perfect.

It's hard to come to this world for a while, why not be hot once, brilliant once, and strive for your love once.

Woman, remember your name.

You are a unique being in this world that cannot be replaced.

Love children, starting with learning to love yourself...

#2021城事 #