Close your eyes and think: What do you remember about the past? What are the happiest memories for you?
The first experience of going to another country; being carried by my father on a bicycle, walking on a sunny road; running with my friends on the grassy grass filled with the fragrance of grass; the aroma of my mother's cooking; the first time I met my lover, shy and happy; the first time I was a mother, my hands were busy, but I was happy and satisfied...
These are more than 1,000 happy memories from more than 70 countries around the world, from a global survey conducted by Mike Wiggin's Happiness Research: the Happiness Recall Survey.
How are memories made up? Why can some things be remembered and some things cannot be remembered? How to create more happy memories of ordinary days? I recommend reading mike Wiggin's Why I Only Remember You.
Mike Wiggin was called the happiest man in the world by The Times. He founded the world's first Happiness Institute in Denmark, and is the CEO of the Happiness Academy, specializing in exploring the causes of happiness and working to improve the quality of life of people around the world. His books and research have been reported in more than 500 media, including "Why Danes Are Happy" and "Deliberately Letting Go: Learning Happiness from the Happiest People" into more than 20 languages and selling 2 million copies.
In the book "Why I Only Remember You", he summarized 8 raw materials and 22 tips for creating happy memories, which can help people create more happy memories and let people remember the happy moments of ordinary days.
A novel experience with "magic"
Our lives have experienced countless firsts, the first time we left home; the first time we traveled alone; the first job we got; the first house we owned... The first memory is always novel, novelty means lasting, and happiness studies found that 23% of people's experiences are related to novel experiences.
I still remember the first time I cooked, when I was 7 years old, the rural kitchen was in the yard, it was the kind of big pot that burned wood. After a long time after noon, my mother has not returned, I am at home with my 4-year-old brother, my brother said he was hungry, I decided to make something to eat.
The tomato egg soup I made, now that I have forgotten the taste of the rice, I only remember that I almost lit up the kitchen, and my mother came back to know that I made the meal with a smile, that is, since then I have fallen in love with cooking. Until now, my mother often talks to my children, with helplessness and relief.
The experience was thrilling, but I wasn't scared at the time. There are many similar experiences, all firmly in my memory, no matter what the situation was at the time, it will always bring me back to growth.
So if we want more happy memories, we can create more firsts and set ourselves some goals. For example, every year I go to a place I have never been, or a foreign country, or a small town park.
Multi-sensory, let the memories three-dimensional
Studies have shown that 62% of the memories we collect are related to various senses. Sight, hearing and smell can make memories three-dimensional, use all the senses to taste unique tastes, sounds, touches, treat happy times with heart, care for him, and easily store happy memories.
Lemon-flavored Italian ice cream, a piece of "madeleine" cake, the smell of dried seaweed; a bottle of perfume; a piece of music; a picture can all evoke your memory. In order to create more memories, we can be exposed to a variety of different "tastes".
The famous Andy Warhol changes a bottle of perfume every 3 months, he said that he will change a bottle of perfume every once in a while, and when he revisits the previous perfume, he will recall what happened at that time, and the perfumes he used have become the collection of his smell museum.
Unforgettable and meaningful moments
Studies have shown that 37% of happy memories are given special meaning by people, and only meaningful things are remembered. For example, on the day of marriage, the day of the first date with a lover, and the day of the birth of a child, most of these special days are when connecting with relatives and others.
And our connection to others, our connection to nature, our connection to the world, speaks to the meaning of our lives. Being able to be full of hope for the future life, be satisfied with the current life, and be able to reconcile with the past self is a meaningful and happy life.
A meaningful life can promote people's growth, complete an important goal, reach an important milestone, and when all their potential is realized, it will allow people to experience the meaning of life and the happiness of making dreams come true. For example, if you are finally admitted to university, you will pass a particularly difficult exam.
Therefore, setting more milestones and recording them is also a way to create happy memories.
Unforgettable peak experience and struggle process
Studies have shown that peak experiences are hard to forget, with 22% of happy memories having peak or difficult experiences. Like a successful speech, it took a lot of hard work to find the object of your choice.
The results are good and it feels better, so when it comes to creating memories, it's important to remember the ending and the peak. In order to reach the peak, we need to work hard.
I remember the feeling of being tired and broken when I worked overtime for 10 days in a row, and I remember the sense of accomplishment and satisfaction when I got the benefits, and if there was something similar, I still chose to do it. The harder the struggle, the sweeter the success, and the peak experience and the struggle process are equally impressive.
Memory outsourcing makes happiness eternal
Does it show that memory is particularly important to us when there are photos taken by people from all over the world, most of which include photo albums, when their house is on fire?
Photographs are the keys to the treasure trove of memories, without which memories may be sealed forever. Our brains have limited memory, and we may remember certain special moments, but we can't remember all of them.
In addition to photos, diaries can also help us record special moments in our lives, as long as they are not lost, and recall what happened at that time the moment we see it.
In addition, the book also introduces many other methods, such as collecting old things, compiling their memories into stories, peak-tail effect, threshold effect, etc., and readers who like it to dig it out for themselves.
The Washington Post says Why I Only Remember You is a book that you can read at will and dig deeper into, depending on what you want to get out of it. What do I want out of it? Is it the ability to be happy in the long run?
Mike Wiggin believes that long-term happiness depends on the ability to describe your past life in positive language. I think that memories are not only descriptions of the past, but also shape the self-perception of the present, affect emotions, and determine the future.
As "Downton Abbey" said: Life is a process of constantly collecting memories, and in the end, only memories accompany us. So collect more happy memories, live ordinary days into poetry, and when you recall them, you can taste the taste of happiness.