If someone asks you "what did you eat this morning," most people can give an accurate answer. But if you are asked what you ate in the morning a month ago, let alone you, it should be said that almost no one can answer. After all, we have to meet many people every day, contact a lot of things, it is impossible to remember, most of them can only rush through, become passers-by, in the end how much can remain in our hearts, become indelible memories? Maybe a lot, maybe not much? And even those left behind, most of them are painful and sad.
In Why I Only Remember You, author Mike Wiggin makes an interesting statement about memories: Whether a person is happy or not has a lot to do with that person's memories. He believes that long-term happiness depends on the ability to describe their past lives in positive language, that is, when a person's memories are full of happy, beautiful people/things, she/he is more likely to feel happiness.
In response to this proposition, he also conducted a survey on "happy memories", collecting more than 1,000 "happy memories" from more than 70 countries around the world – they come from people of different genders, ages, regions, and even different languages. From these treasures of memories, the author discovered the code to create happy memories, and for this reason, the author, Mike Wiggin, was called the happiest person in the world by the Times.
So, if you want to become happier, want to lock in moments of happiness, and be a long-term happiness person, you may wish to try to use these keywords: novelty, multi-sensory stimulation, attention, meaning, emotion, storytelling... Create happy memories with the author.
First, the magic of the "first time"
Research shows that our brains are more likely to remember those new, unusual days, and that "firsts," apparently, for most people, are new experiences, memories that are easy to remember. If you don't believe me, you can try to reminisce, such as your first love, your first speech, your first job... Even if the impression is not deep and the process is not necessarily pleasant, most people will leave some memories.
In the book "Why I Only Remember You", the author also confirmed the magical power of "the first time" through interviews and research. Therefore, we may as well make good use of "first time" to create happy memories for us. For example, the author suggests that we can go to a place we have never been before every year, and while increasing our experience, we can also let the memory of life sprinkle every corner of the world.
In addition, we can also use the magic of "first time" to impress others on us. For example, when doing the year-end summary, take a durian to the stage and amaze everyone.
Second, use multiple senses
When it comes to memories, food is also one of the many factors that can make people have good memories, and this result is not unfounded. Delicious food fully mobilizes our sense of sight, taste, and smell, and uses multiple sensory stimuli to impress us.
Therefore, learning to use multiple senses to understand a thing is also the key to creating memory points. This method not only helps us create happy memories, but also helps us to remember important things on a daily basis. For example, many people have read a book and have not remembered anything, at this time you can try to mobilize multiple senses and make associative memories to improve the reading effect.
Third, outperform the forgetting curve
In the book, the author summarizes the methods of creating happy memories from more than 1,000 memories, which can actually be divided into two categories: (one) deepening memories; (two) avoiding being forgotten. The aforementioned "first time" and "use of the senses" are ways to deepen memories, while the book mentions wrapping memories with stories and recording happy memories on self-media accounts is a way to avoid forgetting.
From this, it is necessary to mention a concept about memory that can never be bypassed - Ebbinghaus's "forgetting curve". If you think about it, you will find that both types of methods are ultimately racing against "memory", that is, with the curve of oblivion. Therefore, there is another stupid way to create happy memories, and that is repetition.
Repeat according to the Ebbinghaus memory curve. Whether you want to remember a word, or you want to remember someone, or you want to remember something... As long as you repeat it following the forgetting curve, you will write it down. This method is stupid, but it is expensive and simple.
In the same way, if you want to forget something, such as painful, embarrassing memories, you can also use the forgetting curve. For example, don't think about it and mention it repeatedly, it will only make you continue to fall into pain, but you should become indifferent as much as possible, stay away from the people, things and things that you want to forget, and let them go away with time.
At the beginning of Why I Only Remember You, author Mike Wiggin said that a great philosopher of the 20th century, Winnie the Pooh, said: "We have always known only to play without emotion, but we never realized that we were making future memories." "How do you feel about this sentence?" If you don't understand it, you can re-read it again, and if you understand it, then you may smile lightly, harvest an inexplicable strength, and know how to make your life full of joy and happiness.
If you look at the name of this book alone, it is easy to think of it as a chicken soup for the soul. But in fact, the whole book revolves around the keyword "happiness", and the entry point is also very unique - "memory". The author argues that whether a person is happy depends on whether his memories are happy or whether he can capture happy memories. If you think about the past now and don't remember most of the things, or most of them are sad things, then it is better to open this book and learn to tap happiness, remember happiness, and control your own happiness.
Finally, the old year is about to go away, and the new year is coming, so let's make a happy and unforgettable annual planning table together and welcome the new happiness together
In January, a sense of ceremony is created. Open the newly purchased calendar, find out the days that are important to you, and plan special events according to festivals, anniversaries, etc.;
In February, face the fear. There are always regrets in life, it is better to be bold this time, to do a few things that have not been afraid to do, do not be afraid, list them first, and do not lose, as for doing or not doing, it is up to you;
In March, connect happiness. Always busy running, many friends may break contact, but the older you are, the more lonely you will feel, take advantage of being still young, it is better to enhance your feelings with others, and begin to create meaning for life;
In April, deliberately create a happy atmosphere. Learn to give up, give up those useless and tedious things, and let your surroundings be filled with people and things that make you happy;
In May, make a record of unforgettable moments, so that every day has a trace to follow;
In June, revisit the place and walk around the places that give you happy times;
In July, go out, feel the power of nature, and empower yourself;
In August, try to disrupt your daily routine, such as a trip that you can walk;
In September, find a mountain worth climbing, constantly challenge and innovate, in order to continue to grow;
In October, stay away from the Internet, sleep well, have fun, and enjoy the release;
In November, I will put what I want to try, what I want to buy, who I want to meet, what I want to fulfill... Make a list;
In December, select your happiness top 100, if you feel too much, you can write top 10 to help you remember happy moments.
Life is not a wasted life, and "Why I Only Remember You" will teach you how to remember what you should remember and forget what you should forget.
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