The local tycoon took his wife back to his hometown in the countryside for the first time, the lady urinated urgently on the road, let the local tycoon let himself wind, and the lady went to the field to relieve himself. As soon as he came out and met the eldest master, he asked his wife, "Big sister, you are us."

The local tycoon took his wife back to his hometown in the countryside for the first time, the lady urinated urgently on the road, let the local tycoon let himself wind, and the lady went to the field to relieve himself. As soon as he came out and met the eldest master, he asked his wife, "Big sister, are you from our village?" Madame was particularly embarrassed, but fortunately the local tycoon came over, and Madame asked him who this uncle was? The local tycoon took one look at it and said, "This grandson who doesn't know!" Madame pulled his clothes and made him speak more politely. Unexpectedly, the uncle saw the local tycoon and actually greeted him happily: "Second grandfather, are you home?" ”

2. The spring tour held by my son's kindergarten is far away, which takes 5 hours long. Suddenly a parent said anxiously: My son wants to pee, who has an empty bottle, borrow me to use it! When I saw that there was no squeak from my parents, I drank half a bottle of my drink and handed him the bottle. Half an hour later, I asked the driver with a look of pain: Master, are you almost at the service area? I... I can't hold back!

3. The daughter-in-law of a rich man thinks that the rich man only earns 100,000 yuan a month, and there is not enough to spend, so she throws the rich man out of the house. Ten minutes later, his daughter-in-law called: You are coming back, there are snakes in the house, I am afraid. The rich man hurried home in a hurry to drive Paramela and threw the big python out of the window. Later, my son quietly said to me: Dad, I put the snake, I failed the exam, you have to persuade my mother not to beat me!

4. Although I myself am a poor single dog, I have a heart of adult beauty. Today I was running in the school playground and there was a little couple in love. The girl looked down and played with her mobile phone, and the man sat helplessly next to him. I yelled, "There's bugs! The girl wowed and went into the man's arms. I thought to myself, "The senior can only help you get here." "I didn't expect the man to push his girlfriend away and run faster than a rabbit!"

5. Yesterday I was off work alone and had nothing to do, so I found an Internet café to play games. At that time, there was a small couple sitting next to me who were opening the black. At noon, the girl shouted that she was hungry and clamored to eat potato meat shredded rice. At that time, the man couldn't help it, so he went out and packed a meal and came back. At this moment, the girl actually came to say: I don't want to eat. If it were my daughter-in-law, I would be angry. Only to see the man look at it with disdain and say: "Don't guess that you won't eat it, I bought my own pot of meat!" I went, decisively true love!

6. On this day, the brother planned to cross the river by ferry, and he quickly drove to the port after work, but he was still one step late and found that the ship was more than three meters offshore. Because he didn't want to miss it, the brother didn't say a word, locked the car door, and immediately jumped on the boat at a speed of 100 meters, and the whole action was completed in one go, without any pause. His actions frightened the whole ship. The captain said strangely, "Sir, the ship has not docked yet!" “

7. After taking a shower, I am ready to turn off the lights and go to sleep. Daughter: Mom, your clothes are hanging on the closet door, as if standing alone, I'm afraid! I can't even open my eyes: there's something terrible about the clothes, Mom wraps you up and sleeps, don't talk! Woken up in the middle of the night by urine, I got up confused and went to the toilet. I turned my head and saw a figure on the closet, Mom! It scared my hair up and the floor was wet.

8. When I was a child, my grandmother basically took care of me, so I was very close to her. This year Grandma is seventy and eight. Once, my boyfriend and I went out on a spring outing. When I got home in the evening, I showed my grandmother the pictures I took on my phone. I patiently preached to my grandmother: After you see a photo, you can touch the phone and gently flip it from right to left, so that you can change the next photo. When I saw my grandmother turning over the second one, she actually used her index finger to dip a little spit!

 #Funny# #搞笑段子 #