At the wedding, the bride accidentally put a fart, and the emcee immediately hit the round field and said: The bride farts, great luck! Then the bride let go of another fart, and the celebrant said: The bride lets out two farts, auspicious and so

At the wedding, the bride accidentally put a fart, and the emcee immediately hit the round field and said: The bride farts, great luck! Then the bride let out another fart, and the emcee said: The bride let go of two farts, auspicious and satisfactory! Unexpectedly, the bride let go of the third fart, and the emcee said: The bride let go of three farts, rejoicing! As soon as the words fell, the bride let out a string of stinky and loud farts, and the emcee shouted: Relatives and friends quickly flash away for me, I see this is going to be pulled!

A colleague, back from a business trip ID card lost, all kinds of rummaging, and finally desperate, planning to take time to make up, a week later morning, as soon as I arrived at the office, I ran excitedly to the desk, saying: Last night I dreamed that I found my ID card, just behind a book! After a while of rummaging, the time came to verify the miracle, and it was really found by this boy, Emma, this science is not !!!

2. At the class reunion, the man wore a Rolex in order to highlight his identity, and when he was worried about how to show it, a classmate suddenly asked what time it was. The man was overjoyed, and calmly took out his mobile phone to dial the phone: "Manager Wang?" I bought a rolex from you, right, gold watch, I want to ask, what time is it? ”

3. One day, the wife got up early and left 200 yuan for her husband to put on the table. After work, the wife guessed that her husband was up, so she sent him a text message: Husband, there is a service fee for you last night on the table. Husband: Full service is only 200 yuan? Find a rich woman tomorrow!

4. The brother-in-law who graduated from HIT has been in a first-tier city for 5 years, and he is still alone at the age of 30! The mother-in-law was anxious to find a matchmaker, Aunt Li: "Help me introduce a girl who is willing to marry naked!" The matchmaker Aunt Li almost laughed out and teased the young man: "You are so handsome, my family has a daughter who can marry you!" My brother-in-law was pleased: "Is it true?" Matchmaker Aunt Li said: "I don't need a penny for the bride price, but I will charge you 100,000 yuan for the introduction fee!"

5. My family is a rural person, and I was the first college student in our village to be admitted to Tsinghua University. On the day I was dropped off at school, the village chief deliberately lent my car to my dad, the best Santana 2000icon in our village at the time. Recently, I had a rich second-generation boyfriend at school, who was particularly handsome and did not dislike me. The first time I took him home on this day, my mother saw him and suddenly smiled: Boy, what's your name? Where is home? Boyfriend: Auntie, my name is Jason, and my home is near Tsinghua. Mom: What? deliver goods? Why is there such a name? Ha ha. To avoid embarrassment, I hurriedly dragged her into the back room: Mom, what a midwife, her English name was Jason. Mom sinks her face: What is the name of a foreign name for an elegant Chinese? I disagree with both of you...

The sister left her brother-in-law at home and came to her mother's house to eat and drink for half a month. Today I went to visit my brother-in-law's house, and mushrooms grew on the water pipes in the kitchen. At noon, my brother-in-law left me to eat, and after a while he brought a plate of mushrooms, I put down the chopsticks and asked my brother-in-law: "I heard that you resigned to paint professionally at home?" Brother-in-law: "Well..." Me: "How is the painting now?" Did it sell? Brother-in-law: "At present, I have sold the car, and it is estimated that I will sell the house." ”

3. A reporter interviewed the director of the psychiatric hospital: "May I ask, what method do you use to determine whether the patient is recovering?" The dean said, "We put a bathtub full of water, next to a soup spoon and a large bowl, to see how they drain the water out of the bathtub." The reporter said disapprovingly: "Of course, it is a large bowl!" The dean looked at him and said slowly, "Normal people are pulling out the plug of the bathtub..."

4. My brother is a courier who often comes into contact with rich people and is very envious of their dashing lives. Secretly determined to raise children well, in the future also let their daughter become rich! After delivering the courier once, he said to his niece in a serious tone: "Child, study hard, when you grow up, you can become a rich second generation!" The niece said unconvincedly: "You are not a rich generation, how can I be a rich second generation?" Brother: "You can give me the money you earn in the future, so that you will not become a rich second generation." The niece narrowed her eyes, her face turned red, and she said in half a day: "Dad, can you order your face?" ”

5. Today the boyfriend's brother came to my house for the first time, and my mother stewed a chicken and put the chicken feet in a bowl for him to eat. Mom: You just started working. Eating chicken feet means catching them quickly. Boyfriend: Auntie, you still give me chicken thighs. I ate chicken thighs and pushed hard up. I think pushing is faster than scratching. My parents agreed to our marriage on the grounds that he was resourceful, cheeky, and not socially disadvantaged.

6. I drove my newly purchased Audi A8icon to my mother-in-law's house. My brother-in-law was very envious when he saw it. My mother-in-law asked me, "How much is your car?" I said, "About 700,000." The old man asked again, "Where did you get so much money to buy such a good car?" I said, "I only need to pay 70,000 a month, and this car will be mine immediately." The old man said, "Get out and think about that good thing." You want me to give you 70,000 yuan to buy a car, I can't afford to give you money, unless in the next life! I said, "I'll go." Who says you should pay? The old man said, "What do you mean, I only need 70,000 pieces?"

My eldest sister-in-law is divorced and lives in my house temporarily. It happened that my wife was on a business trip, and I was at home with my eldest sister-in-law! The eldest sister-in-law was very welcoming. I took care of all the housework at home. He also went to the bathroom to wash all the dirty clothes and dirty pants. Because there are my panties inside. I was embarrassed to let my sister-in-law wash it. So when she didn't pay attention, she sneaked out her panties. Tucked it into the pocket of my clothes. Unexpectedly, the eldest sister-in-law turned around and found it. She said in amazement. I didn't wash it. When I wash it for you, you take it and wipe your mouth, feeling that she thinks I put a handkerchief in my pocket. I cried and laughed. It's all right, I'll wipe my mouth for another day and let you wash it tomorrow.