1. Teacher: Hello parents, your child's grades have come out: Chinese 46, Mathematics 38, English 19. Parents: Already playing! Teacher: To what extent? Parents:

1. Teacher: Hello parents, your child's grades have come out: Chinese 46, Mathematics 38, English 19. Parents: Already playing! Teacher: To what extent? Parents: Recover in the summer, it is estimated that it will not affect the next semester class!

2. A man is willing to pay two bucks for something worth a dollar and is what he wants... A woman is willing to pay a dollar for something worth two dollars but not what she wants... Women expect him to change after marriage, but he won't... Men expect that she won't change after marriage, but she will... The woman was worried about the days ahead until she found her husband... The man never worries about the days ahead until he finds a wife... Married men live longer than unmarried men, but married men want to die...

3. A girl and a boy are on a blind date, and when the girl sees that the boy is tall and tall, she is overjoyed and asks the boy, "How many meters are you tall?" The boy laughed. The girl knew she was asking inappropriately, and her face was flushed. Busy changed his mouth, "I'm asking how long are you?"

4. In the evening, the husband returns home with a happy face, still holding something in his hand. Seeing his wife come out of the bedroom, the husband smiled and said, "Honey, I have bought you all the cosmetics you want, so you should buy something for me!" The wife listened to the thing in her hand as she ran over and took a look at it and smiled. He hugged her husband and kissed him, smiled and said, "Of course, the big bag of laundry detergent in the bathroom was bought for you!" ”

5. See your roommate with a sad face. I asked him, "What's wrong?" He said: "The past month has been too tense, and this month we have to tear down the western wall to make up for the eastern wall." I said, "You are wrong, it should be the demolition of the east wall to make up for the west wall!" He said, "Brother, you don't understand, it was demolished once last month!" ”

6. Birthday is approaching, and a senator goes to the state psychiatric hospital to offer condolences. Patients throughout the hospital listen to senators in the auditorium. After talking dryly for half a day, I couldn't hear the applause of the people in the audience. The senator was embarrassed and had to talk about it with enough spirits, trying to inspire applause from everyone in order to step down. Suddenly, a patient stood up and shouted to the people around him, "Don't listen to this kid's nonsense. He was a lunatic who had just been sent in the morning. ”

7. I deliver takeaway at the restaurant. There is a customer who always likes to order takeaway from our store. At one point, he asked, "Your takeaway is not expensive, but your chef is an old cook, right?" Me: "Yeah, experienced, the dishes are first-class, the taste is different, you can also eat this is the old chef's craft?" Customer: "I can't eat the old chef's craftsmanship, but I can always eat white hair!" ”

8. Come with me to the construction site to move bricks, two cents a piece, a thousand in the morning no pressure, a day small four hundred, a month twelve thousand, a year to get 140,000 two years a suite three years a car, serious rich and handsome work, but also exercise, the money in the gym are saved. Don't say I made money first #Funny paragraph #

9. Me: "Husband, I boiled the tea eggs, come and taste them." The rich husband ate one: "It's delicious." Me: "Delicious, huh?" Cooked 10 with that pack of Pu'er you bought yesterday. Rich husband: "Those two or two Pu'er... Wife, this tea egg 2000 pieces, I am reluctant to eat, the remaining half put in the refrigerator I slowly eat. Me: "Good to know the goods, I am a Chinese egg, 1980 a piece, your bag of tea is only 200 pieces, some waste this egg." ”

@ Tea Salt Moon Color

10. I am now studying Sanda, and I have recognized a master at the martial arts hall, and I have survived kung fu. Once I invited the master to drink with me, and I said happily: Master, I plan to follow you for the rest of my life. The master said: You have been kicked in the head by a donkey, what can I do with it? I weakly replied: Master, if I remember correctly, my head seems to have only been kicked by you in my life... (Source: Network) Comment: I have no intention of being different, how to be tasteful.

11. When the beast finally returned to the cage and sent his little nephew to school in the morning, he said: Aunt, today is 520, has anyone asked you out? I smiled and shook my head, and the little nephew said: Aunt, I have mastered 52 skills of coaxing babies, you hurry up and give birth to a baby. I said: Your aunt has mastered 52 kinds of babybirth skills, you hurry to find me a boyfriend!

#Funny Funny Funny Anecdotes#

12. Do you know the term account period? There is also a called long-term interest-free loan = free. How many capitalists and large corporations are not indebted? For example, we all have 1,000 yuan, we all bought a five-hundred-yuan commodity, you pay it in full, there is no money on hand, but I used six interest-free periods to buy this commodity, I have five hundred yuan in hand, equivalent to I borrowed 1,000 six-month interest-free loan, my five hundred dollars even if it is placed in the balance treasure, there is an annualized interest rate of 3% income. And we made a difference, you're not in debt, and I'm in debt. In the small, debt is not so terrible.

#今日笑料 #