The eldest sister-in-law is beautiful. Divorced today. Move to my house. After dinner in the evening, the eldest sister-in-law wants to take a bath. My wife was afraid that I would peek at my sister-in-law taking a bath and told me to go out and hang out. I'm indignant

The eldest sister-in-law is beautiful. Divorced today. Move to my house. After dinner in the evening, the eldest sister-in-law wants to take a bath. My wife was afraid that I would peek at my sister-in-law taking a bath and told me to go out and hang out. I said indignantly, Am I that kind of person? Then I went out the door breathlessly. Just after arriving at the door of the community, a strange young woman pulled me aside. The young woman said that she had come here for a tour, and that her mobile phone and wallet had been stolen. Tell me to do well and lend her 50 bucks. She was hungry and wanted to have dinner. I was surprised and said, does it cost 50 yuan for dinner? I'll give you ten bucks, there's a bun shop over there, two bucks for a meat bun, and you can buy five. The young woman nodded and said, ten dollars is also OK.?

2. I have been working hard for my career, and not getting married at the age of 38 has become my mother's heart disease. Today the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law next door quarreled, very fierce kind. I said to my mother: Now the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in society is getting more and more serious, and the daughter-in-law's daughter-in-law is cursing her mother-in-law again. The old mother said grumpily: "As long as you can bring me back a daughter-in-law, don't say that you quarrel every day, even if you beat me and scold me, I am very happy."

3. I was a class teacher at Foxconn at the age of 30, and recently there was a female college student who had just graduated from college in the workshop. She was very pretty, and she pursued me, and today the workshop was off, and she invited me for coffee. She asked me: How do you feel about me? I said: You are very smart, but I like girls who are a little stupid, and if girls are too smart, I am afraid that in the future, the children will not have food to eat, and I will treat you as a brother. She slapped me hard, scolded the rogue, and ran away crying. Hey, girls are too smart to worry about it!

4. Dad ran away with 3 million mesh bags, and in order to help him pay off his debts, I went to KTV as a waiter. After working for a while, I found that the landlady treated me very well. A few days ago, the landlady's husband divorced her because there were other people outside. The landlady was very upset and asked me to accompany her to the bar for a drink. Finally, the landlady drank heavily and I drove her home. When I arrived at her door, the landlady suddenly said to me: I have a mouth ulcer and my mouth hurts. I said with concern: What then, do you need me to buy you some medicine? The landlady smiled, put her mouth together and said: It's okay, you can cure it with your saliva. I understood it at the time, and said generously: Then you wait, I will immediately fill you with a bottle.

5. Opened a snack bar in a pedestrian street, and recently a handsome guy came to eat every day. There was no one in the store that day, he hadn't left yet, and he ordered several dishes for me to sit down and eat with him. I suddenly got a little flustered when I listened, and after sitting down, I looked at him with affection. He also looked at me with embarrassment and said: You see I have been coming to your shop to eat for so long, and there are many beautiful women around you, can you help me introduce one?

6. Today my mouth is a little hungry, go to the hamburger shop downstairs and order a burger, and a coke. While eating, I watched a man with his child buy a lot of things. Dad watched the child take two bites and then stopped. Dad: Shall we pack up and eat at home? Child: Well, take it back to your mother. As soon as the words stopped, his father ate the rest of the food, and while eating, he said: I took you so hard, you don't remember your father's good, even if you think about the mother who has nothing to do at home all day!

7. When I was in junior high school, one of my classmates was particularly miserable. As long as he makes a small mistake, the class teacher will catch him and beat him up. This made us wonder, and later learned that the class teacher was his mother! After being beaten once, the director of the instructions passed through the corridor. The classmate grabbed the director's arm and complained, and the director beat him again. My friends and I were confused, and the class teacher said weakly: "Husband, it's time for class!" Go home at night and fight again! ”

8. I was a salesman at the Ferrari 4s store, and today I met a white fumi to buy a car, and I saw her fall in love at first sight. Day and night to create surprises for her, after two years of unremitting efforts to catch up with her, the next day after the first day of dating, she took me to meet her parents. Before that, I dressed up in a suit and leather shoes, and I also wore a green water gem watch. When I got to my girlfriend's house, my future father-in-law looked at my watch and said to me, "Boy, can I exchange my purple clay pot suit for your watch??" I immediately said, "No!! The future father-in-law immediately turned his face: "If you don't change, you will break up with my girlfriend!" "I hesitated to say it again, but I had to agree!! After all, my Green Water Gem was bought in Pinduoduo, and it only cost 9.9 yuan!! #Funny# #搞笑段子 #