Big New Year's Day, please don't "add blockage" to young people's hearts!
Every festive season, coinciding with the reunion, is the "good season" when parents and elders urge young people to marry and force their children.
Usually graduates and young people, either busy with work and socializing, or holding mobile phones and computers all day, let alone going home, even if they sit at the same table with their parents and family to eat, the elderly want to talk to young people, it is more difficult.
But as soon as the New Year comes, it is too easy.
These office workers who nod their heads in front of the leaders on weekdays, in order to return home for the Spring Festival, drag their families to run thousands of miles, not only to calculate the day to grab tickets, but also to buy oil and rice, spend two or three months of salary, and bring a warm blessing to their parents, families and families.
Therefore, under the premise of the huge "sunk cost" and the difficulty of going home, the "marriage urging forced son" that young people usually dislike the most, even if it is awkward to listen to and uncomfortable, most young people can only frown, skim their mouths, and listen to their parents and elders with sad faces after saying those bitter words.
After all, once a year, the Spring Festival, "the big New Year, there is no need to add to the heart of the elderly."
01
But is it easy for today's young people?
Unlike twenty or thirty years ago, when the older generation of college students graduated, they were divided into jobs and houses, and now college graduates are everywhere, and they have to produce 10 million more every year. If you can't find a satisfactory job in the first year of graduation, and you have to compete with the new 10 million college graduates in the second year, can the employment pressure be less intense?
House prices are not cheap, whether it is a first-tier city like Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou, and Shenzhen or a second- or third-tier city, the houses below 8,000 yuan per square meter are really getting less and less.
As for education, pension and medical care, it is even more expensive, training an undergraduate student of a 985 university, counting food, clothing, housing, tuition and tutoring, how to get two or three hundred thousand. Most of the young people after the 80s and 90s are only children, and when they enter middle age, they are bound to face the ruthless reality of a couple supporting 4 elderly people and 2 children.
In this way, a family can only rely on the salaries and savings of the young couple to survive, if the pension and medical insurance plans of the elderly in the family are not well-planned, this small day is simply unimaginable how to live.
Therefore, if some parents and elders want to talk to the young people at home during the New Year, it is best to have a little more kindness and accumulate a little morality, after all, the cost of living is getting higher and higher today, and many young people want to make more money and save more money to resist the heavy pressure of holidays, education, pension and medical care.
It is not that young people do not want to work hard and only want to relax and entertain, but now if they want to get married, start a family and have children, the money and price they need to pay are getting higher and higher, resulting in the age of young people getting married and having children continue to be postponed, and the desire to marry and have children is constantly decreasing.
It can even be said that the reason why many young people are reluctant to get married and have children is actually two words: no money.
02
In fact, the so-called "marriage urging" is originally a selfish thought and behavior.
Some fifty or sixty-year-old people, their marriage feelings and mother-in-law relationship is a mess, when they were young, they quarreled, quarreled and divorced all day, and when the couple was old, their personality, temper and edges were smoothed out, they forgot the pain and regret in the marriage, thinking that their feelings and family were happy and successful.
For them, no matter how the socio-economic culture develops, marriage and having children are the preferred and compulsory choices of life, and the late marriage and late childbearing of young people under the influence of economic pressure and self-concept are the stupid behavior of "not listening to the old man's words and suffering losses in front of the eyes".
But in fact, many young people are afraid of marriage, in addition to economic factors, but also because of childhood awareness of love and marriage.
Decades ago, "arranged marriages" abounded, and some parents were able to get together as a couple and work together for decades, not by warmth and tacit understanding, but by pain and patience.
Born and raised in such a family environment, there are too many post-80s and post-90s young people, from a young age to see the quarrels between parents, and even fight, especially for young people who have already entered the age of marriage talk, there is a deep-rooted concept:
Love must be beautiful, but marriage is not necessarily happy.
Just like the slogan of a marriage platform: "Love should not be settled". It is precisely because of the countless quarrels, contradictions and injuries caused by the discord between parents and families and the failure of marriages from childhood that today's young people are more eager to love each other and work together, and they are more eager to know each other with their other half who truly respect and understand and identify with themselves.
That is to say, young people crave more harmonious, perfect and warm love, rather than a marriage where two people get together through blind dates, matchmaking and coercion.
If you marry only because you have reached the age when your parents think you must get married, isn't it too sad to have such love, marriage, and life?
03
Love and marriage are choices that a person should be extremely cautious and sober.
Many elderly people nag and advise their children when they return home for the New Year, on the one hand, because it is difficult to see the young people at home, on the other hand, when the family is busy during the New Year, they want to give more pressure to the young people and "force them to obey".
Therefore, I would like to advise you to urge the older generation of parents who forced their children to take exams when their children were young:
When children are young, they pay too much attention to reading and learning, ignore the cultivation and improvement of their own quality and emotional intelligence, and cannot find a partner when they reach the marriageable age, which is not the fault of young people, but the sins of the older generation!
The so-called educational anxiety is deeper from generation to generation.
How painful the children of the past are, how confused the students of today are. When more and more parents and families regard their children's academic performance and certificates as the only criterion for measuring the success of a young person, and even want to control and manipulate their children's love marriage, is it not enough for young people to say a "no" word, is it not grateful?
It is true that most elderly parents "urge marriage and force children" for young children out of selfishness and love for their children.
After all, everyone can only understand the things within their own cognitive range, and it is ridiculous for elderly parents to summarize their own concept of marriage and family as the "age responsibility" of school-age children going to school.
Just as every child gradually learns to speak, walk and read after birth, every young person's cognition of self, feelings and life is not completely consistent in age. Some people can be sure of their lifelong love when they are students, while some people can only harvest their marriage and happiness when they are thirty and forty.
Many elderly people think that with their own urging and arranging a blind date, they can let their young children "get back on track", and like the young people of other families, they can successfully marry at the age where they should be married.
When his child goes to school, who makes him "turn his ears out of the window"?
Because of the good relationship with the same table, who is forcing the child to transfer?
Who is it who instills in their children "wealth for others" all day long?
It is these elderly parents who still have to "urge marriage and force children" for young people during the Spring Festival!
But I would like to ask, the elderly parents who control their children's reading and learning, affect their children's love and coexistence, and also manipulate their children's marriage and family, are you really just because you love your son?
In the New Year, middle-aged and elderly parents are sitting at the same table as the "single dog" young people to eat, please be a little more kind, accumulate a little mouth morality.
Today's Topic:
Why do you think many parents urge their children to get married and have children early? Please tell everyone in the comments section.