Why: After the parents are gone, the siblings are "separated"?
preface
In our Chinese blood relationship can be said to be the most core contact of a family.
A family parent or elder is the person we most admire,
When there are parents and elders, the whole family is complete, and brothers and sisters can also get along harmoniously.
However, many families have very little communication with each other when their parents leave.
Even the feelings between brothers and sisters are like strangers, and little by little they begin to drift apart.
Now all this is starting to change, and there are very few families living in harmony.
There is a saying that goes well: "Parents are here, life still has a place to come, parents go, life is only the way home."
Parents are there, brothers and sisters are one, parents are not there, brothers and sisters are scattered in the end of the world. ”
This sentence also speaks to the feelings and inner voices of many people.
Many parents want to have a second child when they are young, in order to let their children have a companion when they are old.
After all, feelings that blood is thicker than water can support each other and rely on each other.
But the ideal is very full, the reality is very bone,
Many children get along well when they are young, but when they grow up, their relationships are very cold.
After their parents leave, the brothers and sisters run to each other, and it is good to practice their feelings once a year.
Even in my opinion, family affection is not as important as friendship.
This question is worth pondering for each of us, and it is also caused by the following three reasons.
One. Have their own lives
As we get older, everyone has their own family,
Therefore, after the parents are gone, they will run and busy with each other for their families, and the contact with their brothers and sisters will be less and less.
We all know that feelings need to be constantly cultivated, whether they are relatives or friends.
If one day you are far away and don't often get together, the feelings will eventually fade.
This is also a very normal phenomenon and reason, but after all, the kinship of blood is thicker than water cannot be changed.
When I was young, I lived together every day, and there were many common topics between them, so the feelings were also very good.
When you grow up, everyone has their own things to do, and the uncommon common topics become less and less common.
Two. There is no way to resolve the contradictions that arise between them
Many brothers and sisters had conflicts when they were young.
If there is no reasonable solution, it will lead to frequent conflicts between the two people in the future.
When parents are there, they will force their faces to smile for the sake of their parents' faces.
When the parents left, the mood became cold and they were not even friends with each other.
When the parents are in conflict, the parents will coordinate in the middle,
After the parents are absent, once one party feels that they have suffered losses, they do not want to meet with the other party again.
Such relationships slowly faded and even parted ways.
So brotherhood is really important and precious to me.
After all, it is a family, so there is nothing we can't solve.
Let's say give each other a chance to change, because in addition to our parents and siblings are the people closest to us.
Three. Contradictions arise because of interests
Siblings seem to be very close, but when a conflict is not resolved, resentment will arise.
For example, when I was young, my parents preferred sons to daughters, which led to conflicts between two children.
Or parents who are unfair to their children will feel resentful of each other.
Such a long-term accumulation, after the absence of parents, the conflicts of interest between brothers and sisters are increasing.
In the end, everyone is dissatisfied with the other half, and there is no need to meet.
It will even become what we call an enemy.
There is a saying that goes: "Parents are here, and there is still a place in life." When your parents go, there is only one way back in life. ”
So we often lament that our parents are at home, and our parents are scattered when they are not at home.
So each of us should cherish the life of our parents when they are there.
We must also cherish the best wealth and future that our parents have left us.
Conclusion
After all, the family is connected by bones, and no matter how jealous they are between brothers and sisters, they are also brothers of a mother.
Therefore, every family has a difficult scripture, and we should not affect family affection because of a small matter.
After all, the parents are gone, and the brothers and sisters are the closest people to each other.
On the contrary, they should be united as when their parents were there, and they will also impress others.
Whenever there is jealousy and jealousy in a family, selfishness will break up the family.
Therefore, we must keep this wealth left to us by our parents.
Parents and children are advised to correctly guide the contradictions between parents and children.
At the same time, we must also learn to resolve contradictions peacefully, let alone be biased.
In this way, when the child grows up, the feelings will get better and better and unite together.
Otherwise, when you are young, you will feel jealous and resentful, and it is difficult to maintain this family relationship.
END
Today's Topic:
What happened to your life after your parents left?
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References | Psychological medicine