The older I got, the more I hated my parents, and I felt the hurt of my childhood rush up at once. It's definitely not an isolated case, in fact I am.
Even to this day, I still remember the nightmares of my childhood, to what extent, have you ever seen going to the toilet at lunchtime?
This is not a vice, but my mother is chattering on the side of 1, saying that my studies are my upbringing, saying that I am all kinds of things, and that she will criticize me at any time, and that I am useless.
Do you have to say that I am crying, to what extent I cry, to cry so that I must admit my mistake, what is wrong? It is nothing more than that the academic performance in the school has declined, and the relationship with the classmates is not very good.
So from the time I was young, there was a psychological shadow, every time I ate at noon, I always felt very panicked in my heart, and I didn't know why I was panicking, so that at that time I began to think independently.
How to not let my parents say anything at lunchtime, especially not to let my mother say bad things about me at the dinner table, I finally thought of a way.
That is, seize the time to stuff two bites of food in your mouth, and then run to the toilet to eat only in the toilet, so that you will not be reprimanded by your mother.
It went on for about two months, until two months later, when my mother asked me with hindsight.
Why when it comes to lunch you go to the toilet, what is wrong with you, I tell you, and then if you are hungry, I will knock you on the head with a stick.
But the strange thing is that when I heard my mother's reprimand, I didn't dare to say anything, I just said that I felt a little stomachache and wanted to go to the toilet.
But is that really the case? Please, I just want to put two mouthfuls of steamed buns in my mouth and go to the toilet to have a quiet lunch.
This topic is a bit dirty, I can understand, even some friends will feel sick, so I am deeply sorry.
In school, as long as I had a conflict with other classmates and had a disagreement, my parents could call me without saying a word.
The reason is very simple, you don't bully him, how can he bully you, you must be bullying him, this pure logic without any reason, directly led to my elementary school to high school, these 10 years have been the object of bullying.
Sometimes I even understand that this little boy in front of me can knock him down with one punch, but I don't dare.
Why? What I am afraid of is not the handling of the school, nor am I afraid of the discipline of the school, and what I am afraid of is not the punishment brought to me by the school.
I was just afraid that my parents would be chattering and reprimanding, and it would be a reprimand without reason or principle.
Yes, if I don't bully him, how can he bully me, but my parents seem to have overlooked a part, this part of the person is naturally willing to bully others even if you don't bully him, he still wants to bully you, in the face of this I can only endure, in order to just ask for a few less parents.
When I was young, I had a good relationship with my neighbors and chatted and bragged together, but my parents said don't be so big and small, do you know what these elders say about you behind your back.
I didn't bother to chat with the neighbors, and after a long time, my parents said, why don't you chat with these neighbors, when you see those uncles and aunts, you must say hello.
How do I say hello, aren't they saying bad things about me behind my back? So I developed a character that was both withdrawn and relatively open.
Sometimes I feel that I am about to split, and when I meet those elders, on the one hand, I think of my parents asking me to say hello, on the other hand, I think of my parents, and I am happy to say that these elders said bad things about you behind your back yesterday.
Point 1, Why do you hate your parents the more you get older?
Everyone found that instead of some people slowly increasing their age, they would hate their parents more and more, not only their own parents, but even their father-in-law or in-laws.
One of the main reasons is the age limit, when we were too young to make subjective decisions about our future.
What our parents say on the sidelines, we subconsciously think it is, just like me, and my parents initially said not to talk to the elders after meeting them.
Because the elders told you bad things, or what happened to them behind your back, and the reason why my parents told me this was only because my parents had a small friction with the elders.
But when they told me all this, I couldn't control it at all, but then my parents said, how can you be such a lonely person, you should greet those elders.
Didn't you let me say hello before please? Why are you asking me to say hello again now?
In the previous days, because high school could only take one vacation per month, I thought about the day of the holiday, I cleaned up the house, and it was also a contribution to the family.
But my parents saw this and pointed directly at my nose, and scolded me for half an hour.
Don't you forget what you did in high school, to make you clean up? You immediately put these things in place.
My parents, in order to argue with me that they should not clean up at this time, actually spent up to two hours to reason with me, instead of encouraging me to do another service for the family.
I am so, and I think some of my friends are even more so, and even more so. This is definitely not alarmist.
Rather, in the process of growing up and experiencing, a person is slowly able to exert his own subjective initiative, and when his consciousness and values have strong conflicts and differences with his parents, the inevitable result.
Point 2, how do you think about this?
If this question had been asked to me 5 years ago and 10 years ago, I would have been extremely angry and said, such parents don't want it, it's a big deal that in the future they go their way, I go my way.
But then I suddenly understood a truth, when did I understand it? Not long ago. A particularly amiable old woman I knew.
When buying vegetables, he sneakily dropped others on the ground and carried three dollars into his pocket.
From that time on, I realized that no one in this world was a saint, not even Confucius, who also looked down on peasants.
So when we demand that our parents be perfect, it is a misconception in itself, and this so-called requirement, parents to achieve aesthetics has neither logic nor reason to speak of.
None of us will be perfect in the absolute sense of perfection when we become our next generation of parents.
And the only thing we can do is accept our parents, just as we accept our imperfections from our parents.
Although there is friction in the middle and contradictions in the middle, we are a family after all, of course, there is a premise, that is, parents are worthy of our acceptance.
And we've been accepted by my parents for a long time in the past, so as I get older, the hurt my parents have done to me may have come rushing up at once.
Especially the hurt of childhood, but then I think, alas, who is not a parent for the first time, my parents may not have the experience of being a parent.
But from the perspective of educating their children, at least they are doing a good job.