No filial piety, once this hat is fastened on someone's head, this person will be pointed out by thousands of people, spurted by people, and will drown him with a mouthful of spit.
Indeed, filial piety is an evil deed and an intolerable act. If your parents hadn't given birth to you and worked hard to raise you, you wouldn't have had the opportunity to see the world and have a good life.
Your parents have raised you, and it is your duty to honor your parents, support your parents, and let them live in peace as much as possible in their old age. If you only want to enjoy the love of your parents, but be a white-eyed wolf and do not honor your parents, you really don't deserve to be human.
However, as there is a saying in the "Yan Family Training": those who are weathered by husbands are also those who walk from the top to the bottom, and those who are applied to the latter from the beginning. If the father is not kind, the son is not filial, the brother is not friendly, the brother is not respectful, and if the husband is unrighteous, the woman is not smooth.
If the parents are very loving and do their best to raise their children, even if they cannot provide a rich and noble life for their children, but they have fulfilled their obligations, honor their parents, and strive to provide their parents with a stable old age, the children have an unshirkable responsibility.
However, if the parents are not qualified, the parents are not loving, nor are they qualified to ask their children to be filial, really, without the suffering of others, do not persuade others to be good.
In the eyes of some parents, children must respond to their needs and do things exactly according to their requirements, and even the other half of their children must be like this, which is considered filial piety. If the children or their other half dare to say a "no" word to their parents, it is a great rebellion, that is, filial piety, they will use the identity of the parents to suppress the children, stage moral kidnapping, and make the children feel very painful and helpless.
Some parents do not want their children to be filial, but their behavior really makes their children filial piety impossible.
Mr. Qian has such parents, every three to five was scolded for filial piety, but Mr. Qian felt very helpless, but also felt very wronged, asked the people around him: "Give my parents 1500 a month, once a year for physical examination, they still scold me for not filial piety, what do you want?" Am I really not filial piety? ”
01.
"Your parents are too bitter, tired for most of their lives, it is really not easy to save money for you to go to school, when you grow up, you must honor your parents and repay your parents' nurturing grace." 」
From childhood to adulthood, Mr. Qian's relatives would always say similar things to Mr. Qian, telling him that his parents were not easy, and he must have a grateful heart and honor his parents.
Indeed, Mr. Qian's parents were not easy, getting up every day before dawn, working in the fields, and returning at ten o'clock at night, but despite their hard work, the harvest was still not good, and the family lived a tight life.
Poor children have long been in charge, Mr. Qian was very sensible when he was very young, knew how to share some housework for his parents, studied hard, and strived to get into a good university and find a good job. In the end, he also lived up to everyone's expectations, was admitted to a university, and ranked among the best among his family peers, fiercely fighting for his parents.
"After being admitted to college, I was full of confidence, thinking that I had survived and could give my parents a good life in the future, and I could repay my parents to the fullest." However, when I came into contact with society, I realized that I was just a small shrimp rice, far less powerful than my parents thought, and could meet all their requirements. I couldn't even take my parents to town and live with them. ”
This is also the biggest reason why Mr. Qian's parents scolded their sons for not filial piety, but if they did not accept their parents, Mr. Qian also had to do it.
02.
7 years ago, 25-year-old Mr. Qian married his lover, bought a house in the provincial city, because Mr. Qian's family is not well-off, can not come up with so much money, most of the down payment is from the girlfriend's parents, the real estate deed is written on the name of their couple, together to repay the loan.
"My father-in-law and mother-in-law paid most of the down payment, and only came to live in my house a few times, one of which was to serve my daughter-in-law's confinement, my parents did not serve my daughter-in-law to confinement, and second, they did not take care of my daughter-in-law, and they also asked to live in my house to enjoy happiness, how did I open my mouth?"
The reason why Mr. Qian's parents do not serve their daughter-in-law to confinement and do not bring their granddaughter is only because they believe that only grandchildren are the seeds of the Qian family, and only the daughters-in-law who give birth to boys are worthy of being called to serve. After hearing this, how good can the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law be?
In recent years, the relationship between Mr. Qian's wife and in-laws has been in a state of tension, not to mention living under a roof, even if it is a phone call, you can quarrel without saying a few words.
"And spawn? Don't they know that we don't make as much money and can't afford to raise so many children? Don't they know that the decision to give birth to boys and girls is not in my hands? What happened to my daughter? I can't think through it, your mother is not a woman! Why look down on my daughter? ”
"Still want to come and stay?" You see, even if we are not under the same roof, separated by a hundred and eighteen thousand miles, just through a phone, we can argue incessantly, then, if they come over, do you think this family can not be scattered? ”
"Honoring your parents is your duty, you have an unshirkable responsibility, and I will not stop you." But I want you to remember that you are not only the son of your parents, but also my husband and the father of my daughter. ”
Fortunately, Mr. Qian is not extremely confused, not foolish enough to ruin his marriage, so he refused his parents' request, so he bore the name of unfilial piety.
03.
"I'm not filial? I pay 1500 alimony to my parents every month, they are less than 60, and many of my colleagues' parents are as old as my parents, making money in factories, and some subsidizing their sons. I don't nibble on the old, don't want them to subsidize, give them money back, don't I still have filial piety? ”
"I was worried about their bodies, worried that they were too tired in the past, hiding certain diseases, and it was too late to be discovered, so I arranged for them to come to the city for a physical examination once a year, and the money was all out of me, wasn't it enough?"
"Every New Year's Day, I have to wear out my mouth and persuade my wife to accompany me back to my hometown to see them, the furniture and appliances in the family are all changed at my expense, in order to do this, how difficult it is for me, do they know?"
Speaking of this, Mr. Qian felt extremely broken, and after listening to it, people around him also talked about it, but no one said that Mr. Qian was not filial piety.
"It's not that you don't honor, it's that your parents are too dissatisfied, they only know how to use the identity of your parents to suppress you, and even want to suppress your daughter-in-law." I don't want to think about it, they have no grace for your daughter-in-law, no help, no grace with a baby, and they still favor sons over daughters, so why move to your house and let your daughter-in-law serve them? ”
"You are not filial piety, but you are too weak, do you understand what is called rejection?" If you hadn't been so rejecting them and reasoning with them, they wouldn't have succeeded in moral kidnapping! ”
Mr. Qian was even more confused, not knowing whether he was at fault or not, and how to treat his parents.
04.
Not knowing how to refuse is a common disease of many people, especially in the face of people close to each other, in order to maintain each other's affection and not let the other party have dissatisfaction, it is more difficult for us to say the words of rejection.
As the Japanese writer Osamu Dazai wrote in his novel "Human Disqualification": "My misfortune lies precisely in my lack of ability to refuse, and I am afraid that once I reject others, I will leave a rift in each other's hearts that can never be healed." ”
However, the more you do not refuse, the more the other party has to inch forward, the greater the appetite, sooner or later there will be a day that you can't bear, at that time, he has become accustomed to taking benefits from you, asking for you, you refuse again, he thinks that you owe him, and he will turn his face and be ruthless.
Instead of going to the point where people and money are empty, it is better to refuse early, even if you can't keep each other's feelings, you can also protect your interests, in fact, when he opens his mouth to you to make unreasonable demands, he has long since stopped taking this love seriously.
END.
XiaoQi asked you to comment: What do you think is the biggest problem with Mr. Qian? Feel free to share your views in the comments section.