Ma Yili said in her review of "Broken Eggs": The value of women's lives in society is not to become a mother, but to become herself. Ma Yili's words have inspired many independent women in the new era, and Ye Haiyang is one of them. This northeastern girl broke through the shackles of the times and ran this sentence through her life.
In August 2019, an article titled "Chinese beauty CEO spent 500,000 yuan to the United States to buy a mixed-race daughter of 5 countries, and was bitterly criticized by netizens" caused heated discussion among netizens. Some people think that this is irresponsible for children, and some people say that this is a private matter of others, and others should not interfere more.
Pictured | Ye Haiyang with her daughter
There is some truth to both of these arguments, but no matter what, the cyber pressure on Ye Haiyang, the protagonist of the incident, is still huge, and even her contact information and home address have been exposed. So why did Ye Haiyang make such a decision under the pressure of huge public opinion, and what was the hidden reason for this?
The history of the wayward president
Ye Haiyang was born in 1988 to an ordinary family in Changchun, Jilin Province, northeast China, to factory workers.
As the only child, Ye Haiyang's parents gave her enough love, they did not want to let Ye Haiyang have any future success, only hoped that she could be healthy and healthy, safe and secure. But Ye Haiyang knows that it is her parents who work hard and save money to provide for her own study and life, so she is very strict with herself, whether it is study or life, she tries not to let her parents worry.
This also planted a seed in the heart of little Ye Haiyang, and when I grow up in the future, I must make more money to repay my parents.
Figure | ye ocean at work
Unfortunately, the sky is not the way it should be. An illness caused Ye Haiyang's not rich family to collapse directly, and she knew that her parents were not easy, so she offered to quit school to work.
Although her parents were very relieved after listening to it, they really couldn't bear to watch their precious daughter enter the society so early, nor did they want to see her running for her livelihood like herself. Her parents still hoped that Ye Haiyang could change herself by reading, so she refused Ye Haiyang's request.
I thought that after surviving this period, the difficulties at home would improve, but I did not expect it to increase. Forced to do so, Ye Haiyang's father had to agree to Ye Haiyang's request to withdraw from school. But Ye Haiyang is still relatively clear about her future plans, and she is keenly aware that the economy in the south is developing rapidly, especially in Guangzhou, which is called "Yangcheng".
Pictured| Ye Haiyang, who has the daughter of a mixed race of the Five Kingdoms
From the poor small county to the metropolis of "Ten Mile Ocean Field", there are many young people who are immersed in the life of this drunken fan, and although some are not addicted, they are also disrupted by the fast-paced life here, and they are slowly smoothed out by life and lose their original intentions. Success belongs to a small number of people, of course, Ye Haiyang is this small group of people - following his original dream, down-to-earth, step by step struggle.
In Guangzhou, where the market acceptance is very strong, Ye Haiyang has a keen insight into the extremely hot cosmetics industry, and she knows that she belongs to the flat shoulder blowing fire in this regard - she does not know anything, but Ye Haiyang, who has a strong personality, still chooses to go down resolutely.
The ideal is very good, but if you want to make a career, you must work hard to absorb relevant professional knowledge.
So Ye Haiyang refused the various "temptations" emitted by Guangzhou City and threw himself into the study of cosmetics. She firmly believes that she will be able to achieve something (the exclusive quality of the successful). Finally, the emperor did not pay off, with the continuous reserve of relevant knowledge, as well as the in-depth understanding of the industry, Ye Haiyang became an elite in the industry from a small white, and had a considerable income.
Pictured| Ye Haiyang who is being interviewed
With the experience accumulated by Ye Haiyang, he can completely stand alone. So with his observation of the cosmetics market, Ye Haiyang decided to use his savings for two years to give it a go. She chose to leave the company and start a new brand on her own. Throughout the five thousand years, no successful person's entrepreneurial path is smooth, and Ye Haiyang is no exception. The plight of the childhood family and the helplessness of the parents seem to be in front of them, the teeth are lost, the throat is in the stomach, and the pain is only known to themselves. My parents were also so hard at the time, but they didn't say a word, and they could do the same. Thinking of this, Ye Haiyang felt that everything was worth it.
The effort will eventually pay off, Ye Haiyang's cosmetics business has improved, the scale has become bigger and bigger, she completed her original idea, she succeeded.
With the passage of time, in the blink of an eye, Ye Haiyang is 29 years old, and in the eyes of her relatives and friends, she is a successful person, but in the hearts of Ye Haiyang's parents, Ye Haiyang is her own daughter, and she is a girl who needs the pain of "outsiders". Because of this, the second elder had the idea of letting his daughter find a boyfriend, but it was not that they were anxious to hug their grandson, but they just felt that it was not easy for their daughter to be alone.
Ye Haiyang's former classmates, as well as most of the peers around her, are already married and have children, and there are really not many strong women like her who are bent on their careers.
Ye Haiyang, who was "urged to marry" by his parents, resigned: "Taking advantage of my youth, I want to work hard for a few more years, and I will talk about marriage later." ”
Ye Haiyang's mother said with concern, "You have an idea when you were young, and your mother knows." But a person working hard is definitely very tired, if there is a person around, you can also help each other. ”
Pictured| the leaf ocean in life
But no matter how much his parents persuaded him, Ye Haiyang always shirked it for various reasons. Slowly, her parents also understood that their daughter was unwilling and that no amount of talk would help.
In fact, Ye Haiyang didn't envy the people around her who had children, but she had her own ideas.
Go to Chongyang to "buy sperm and have children"
It is said that marriage is the graveyard of love. This is true, if you choose a wrong marriage, it will indeed become the pain and regret of the second half of your life. Nowadays, more and more women are reluctant to marry, and some even believe that women are always victims of marriage and family. Ye Haiyang was almost 30 years old and had not yet married, so naturally she had become a leftover woman in the eyes of others, but Ye Haiyang never bothered others for saying that she was a leftover woman, on the contrary, she felt that it was very good. As a very independent, very capable woman, hard work until now, have a car and a house, live a colorful and rich life, want to buy what bags and clothes to buy, and from time to time can come to a trip that can be said and left.
Figure | leaf ocean
Under this general trend, Ye Haiyangdi gradually developed an idea of skipping the marriage procedure to have children, which is what we often call "buying sperm and having children".
Ye Haiyang had paid attention to this aspect before, but because the domestic sperm bank was not open to single women, he could only go to the other side of the ocean to achieve it, but he had not yet figured out how to tell his parents about this matter, which made Ye Haiyang fall into a situation of overwhelm. She would love to have a child by herself, to have a little angel, but to go abroad to find a solution, to give birth to a mixed-race child, can her parents accept it?
Figure | ye ocean where relevant inspections were performed in the United States
After thinking about it again, Ye Haiyang still decided to tell his parents what he thought. Surprisingly, her parents did not show extreme resistance after listening to it, but told her that this is not a small matter, must be carefully considered, although the economy will not cause pressure on her, but the lack of paternal love in the future children's lives will not cause shadows to the children, this is a question that must be clearly considered.
For the problems mentioned by her parents, Ye Haiyang has also thought about it, but she believes that compared with these, children need an independent personality, strong will and healthy psychology, which makes Ye Haiyang, who has been working outside for many years, feel that she is fully capable of giving children.
The support of her parents also gave Ye Haiyang a lot of confidence, and after learning more about IVF, she also knew that there were many precedents in China, and they were all supported by relevant policies. Now that everything is ready, only the "East Wind" is owed, so Ye Haiyang began to actively communicate with American hospitals. Finally, in 2017, Ye Haiyang contacted the IVF agency in the United States, and after arranging the company's affairs properly, he went to the ocean alone.
Here, I would like to say that as early as 2003, the Ministry of Health's "Human Assisted Reproductive Technology Specification" clearly stipulated that "it is forbidden to implement human assisted reproductive technology for couples and single women who do not comply with the provisions of the national population and family planning regulations and regulations"; in short, surrogacy has not yet been legalized in China. Therefore, under the restrictions, some women who are allowed by economic conditions have set their sights on overseas and started the journey of "selecting sperm and having children" in the United States, Russia and other countries.
Figure | Ye Haiyang, who is reporting the process to netizens
After Ye Haiyang came to the IVF institution in the United States, he found that the various conditions of the donor can be chosen by himself, and Ye Haiyang is also very cautious about this kind of thing that may be once in a lifetime. She made a series of requirements for sperm donors' academic qualifications (Ivy League colleges in the United States, such as Harvard, Yale, Chicago, etc.), skin color (requiring white skin tone, brown eyes, yellow hair). And also added requirements: cheerful and lively personality, good at helping others. According to the doctor, the donor screened according to Ye Haiyang's conditions was a four-country mixed race, so coupled with Ye Haiyang's Chinese ancestry, this baby will be a five-country mixed race, born must be very handsome, which makes Ye Haiyang very excited.
Ye Haiyang is no different from an ordinary mother, and she will also experience normal pregnancy reactions. Money can buy IVF, but it can't sell the pain of being pregnant in October. During pregnancy, due to the inability to get the care she deserved and being unaccompanied, Ye Haiyang suffered from prenatal depression, and her weight rose sharply. She began to become more and more inferior, and began to doubt whether she could take good care of her children, for fear of being laughed at by others. But all this disappeared after the baby's smooth landing. Ye Haiyang even gave his daughter a sweet English name - Doris.
Figure | ocean of leaves during pregnancy
Doris was born and was criticized
Ye Haiyang knew that she would not hesitate to spend a lot of money to go to the other side of the ocean to buy a fine child, which attracted much attention, so she was afraid that everyone would also reject her daughter, which also made her doubt herself more. But looking at the brown eyes in front of her, the cute baby, Ye Haiyang seems to be not afraid of anything, and under the action of motherhood, her personality has gradually changed from tough to gentle. After giving birth to her daughter, she began to learn to cook and do housework, and gradually began to take on the responsibility of "motherhood". On weekdays, no matter how busy she is at work, she will take time to spend time with her daughter.
Pictured | Ye Haiyang with her mother and daughter
Such a huge change surprised everyone around Ye Haiyang, and everyone unanimously felt that her child was really right. But this matter has caused a lot of controversy on the Internet. Some people say that although Ye Haiyang is both a mother and a father, he will certainly not be able to give the child enough fatherly love, which will undoubtedly have a serious impact on the child's psychology.
Others say Ye did this for his own self-interest — to sell his own cosmetics. Who would joke about their body and their daughter? However, this kind of groundless speculation did bring a lot of trouble to Ye Haiyang's body and mind during that time, but the woman was weak, the mother was just strong, and Ye Haiyang, who was known as a strong woman, would not be defeated by these gossip, and she quickly responded positively: "I gave birth to a child myself, I lived behind closed doors, and did not affect other people, and I was trying to give her mother and father's love, I did not feel that I was selfish, I was doing hard, I was trying to live, can this also call me selfish?" ”。 Ye Haiyang stepped out of the shadows, and she no longer cared about other people's opinions. She understood that as long as her daughter could be healthy and safe, she would be happy.
Pictured| Ye Haiyang with her daughter Doris
Healthy families are better than sound ones
Influenced by traditional ideas, it is natural for women to marry and have children, and children to have fathers. At the same time, many people believe that children can only grow up healthy in families where both father and mother exist. But in fact, there are many children today who cannot grow up safely and healthily, even if they live in a sound family. Therefore, what children really need is a substantially healthy family, not a superficially "sound" family. Although Ye Haiyang can't give her daughter a sound home, she will give her everything and give her daughter all her love. And that, perhaps, is enough.
There are no wonders in the world, and under reasonable and legal conditions, we should understand and respect everyone's ideas. You say, right?