Author: Si Tong, Editorial Board of Wei Magazine
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Some time ago, Ye Haiyang announced the good news of the birth of a second child on Weibo.
Again, the production process was still carried out by her alone.
Speaking of ye haiyang's story, I think everyone must still have an impression.
In 2017, she rushed to the United States to spend 500,000 yuan to "buy sperm", and then gave birth to her eldest daughter Doris.
Now, once again, she welcomes her second daughter, Hatti, in the same way.
Turning over her social platform, there is no mother-in-law contradiction, no dispute between husband and wife to raise children, and some are just full of love between mother and daughter.
Suddenly, it turned out that this controversial "unmarried mother" had already become a winner in life.
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The time is set back to 2017, when Ye Haiyang was still a single young woman.
She has been strong since she was a child, and after graduating from college, she rejected her parents' arrangements and drifted north alone, insisting on breaking out of a career.
After living in the basement and suffering all kinds of hardships, fortunately, her efforts were not in vain, and soon she accumulated the first bucket of gold in her life, and founded her own cosmeceutical brand in Guangzhou, realizing economic freedom.
But Ye Haiyang, who is a big step ahead of his peers in his career, has not made much progress emotionally.
She has a big grin and a neutral dress, and inadvertently treats the opposite sex as a brother.
But in fact, in his bones, Ye Haiyang is a gentle and sensual person.
Every day when she came home from work and looked at the huge room, she always felt empty in her heart.
I don't want to be in love, and I don't want to be alone.
After much thought, Ye Haiyang made a bold decision: "If you have a child yourself, start a small family first." ”
Since he decided to give birth, he had to do it well, and before acting, Ye Haiyang carefully considered the feasibility of this matter.
Her parents are enlightened and supportive in her pursuit of the life she wants.
The wealth accumulated by their own financial independence can fully ensure that their children grow up in a carefree environment.
Mentally, there is also ample preparation for the arrival of new life.
In this way, Ye Haiyang naturally rushed to the United States and carefully selected a three-high man from the "sperm bank" as the biological father of the child.
Induction, egg retrieval, embryo transfer, obstetric examination, before and after the total cost of more than 500,000 yuan.
On the day of the implantation of the embryo, Ye Haiyang did not use anesthesia, and when she watched the small white dots being pushed into her body from the B ultrasound machine, her tears could not be controlled at once.
"Just this little white dot will be a bond for my whole life in the future."
With excitement and longing, Ye Haiyang began his own path of raising a fetus.
What she didn't expect, however, was that parenthood was such an easy process.
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After becoming pregnant, Ye Haiyang even became cautious when she walked, watching her stomach grow bigger day by day, her heart was very complicated.
Although there are not many pregnancy reactions, every time others go to the obstetric examination, they are accompanied by their husbands, and they can only walk alone, and it is inevitable that they will be aggrieved.
Coupled with the fact that his weight once soared to 186 pounds, ye Haiyang, who was optimistic by nature, was prenatal depressed.
During that time, she often cried for no reason, and she was also very unconfident in herself, and the only thought that could support her was "hurry up and be born".
The day the baby was born was a cesarean section, and the first time he saw the child, Ye Haiyang's heart melted.
"No matter how much suffering is worth it, nothing else matters, just health."
She named her daughter "Doris," which means "a gift from the sea."
And this kind of "coupleless parenting" also means that Ye Haiyang must be both a mother and a father, and he has to pay more hardships and difficulties than others.
During the day, she is busy with the operation of the company and the factory, and when she returns home at night, she also has to breastfeed, go to bed, early education, and various accompaniment.
After the child grows up slowly, in addition to the concern for life and education, the psychological Ye Ocean also pays great attention.
In order to protect her daughter's childlike heart, she bought a large watermelon, hollowed out the melon, and then put her daughter in it, and carefully took a group of photos as proof.
"In case Doris asked later, I said I bought a big watermelon and cut it open to find her inside."
She also wrote many letters to the family, incorporating love and teaching into the text.
But although Ye Haiyang did not disturb the lives of others, the matter of having children out of wedlock was still condemned by many people.
Someone said: "Single parenting, there are many inconveniences in life, women can not live without men..."
It is also said: "Single-parent families are not conducive to the growth of children, this practice is too selfish." ”
In this regard, Ye Haiyang replied: "I have a child myself, I don't bother other people, close the door to live our lives, as a woman, I will try my best to give her mother's love, to her father's love, I am trying to do it, try to live." ”
She has also proved with her actions that even in single-parent families, Doris can grow up healthily.
And Doris, who is 5 years old this year, does not have inferiority because of no father, she is sunny and healthy, lively and cute, obedient and sensible, and confident and cheerful.
On the other hand, many people around us always marry for the sake of getting married, and have children for the sake of having children.
Often in the end, they do not live a satisfactory and happy life.
Instead of maintaining the dignity under the illusion, it is better to follow your own heart and face marriage and children like Ye Haiyang.
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Today, Ye Haiyang's second child is about to have a full moon.
Some people are also puzzled: "It is so hard to take a child alone, why do you have to have a second child." ”
She confessed: "I don't know how long I can spend with my daughter, I hope that after many years, I will return on my own, and the children will not be alone." ”
In fact, for the matter of having children out of wedlock, Ye Haiyang is not the first, and naturally will not be the last.
Some time ago, there were also media reports on another "unmarried mother" - Li Xueke.
Li Xueke, 32 years old this year, has worked as a model, but also worked as a micro-business, relying on his own accumulation to successfully become the boss.
Similarly, she doesn't want to get married casually, but wants to have kids of her own before she turns 30.
In 2018, she chose to go abroad to find sperm donors and do IVF.
After two embryo transfers, more than 140 injections to protect the fetus, and experiencing various pains such as morning sickness, compression, insomnia, etc., she gave birth to mixed triplets.
The hardships of unconventional parenting are self-evident, not to mention the need to take care of three children at once.
But whenever someone asks about Li Xueke, she always firmly says: "I am very happy and have no regrets, I just chose my favorite way to live." ”
The story of Ye Haiyang and Li Xueke always reminds us of the term "widowed parenting".
It is often assumed that even if a father is rarely involved in the child's development, this role must not be missing.
Because, "incomplete family = incomplete love".
But the truth is that a marriage that compromises for the sake of the children will only bring greater harm to the children.
Of course, I don't encourage "having children out of wedlock," much less tout this lifestyle.
But it is hoped that everyone can be cautious and responsible in the choice of "marriage and family".
Just like Ye Haiyang said: "The purpose of marriage is not to reproduce offspring, and the matter of having a baby should not necessarily be based on marriage, and it is what we should think about and do to face life rationally and be responsible for it." ”
And Yu Ye Haiyang himself, we also see another way of life: a life that will not be done can really create infinite excitement.
On the road ahead, there are difficulties and controversies, but I believe that Ye Haiyang and his two children will be happier and happier.
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