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If a woman doesn't want to find someone to marry and doesn't want to miss the golden childbearing age, what should she do?
There are always women who are mavericks and design a satisfactory answer to this question.
In 2017, Ye Haiyang, a 28-year-old northeastern girl, made a jaw-dropping decision.
She traveled to the United States to buy sperm and became pregnant on her own.
Egg retrieval, embryo transfer, before and after the total cost of 500,000 yuan.
(Ye Haiyang and eldest daughter Doris)
Ye Haiyang made this move just to get a complete home.
At the end of 2017, daughter Doris was born, and she officially became a single mother.
Now, 5 years later, how is Ye Haiyang's life now?
How does she explain to her children the fact that there is no father?
Ye Haiyang was born in 1988 and grew up in Changchun, Jilin Province.
From an early age, she was outgoing and independent, and she was different.
At the age when other girls wore flower skirts, Ye Haiyang changed into neutral clothes early and transformed into a "little boy".
After graduating from college, Ye Haiyang's strong personality was even more apparent.
Before I could find a job, I had a disagreement with my mother.
Her mother wanted her to work in the local system, stable and idle.
Ye Haiyang, who is not willing to be ordinary, directly carries his luggage and embarks on the train, becoming a "North Drifter".
(Ye Haiyang and eldest daughter Doris)
As we all know, ordinary people's days of drifting north are not good.
Without enough money, Ye Haiyang could only rent a dark and damp basement and nibble on steamed buns with pickles every day.
Even if the savings are maximized, she still often worries about living expenses and rent.
At that time, Ye Haiyang's greatest wish was that he could live in a large villa, drive a luxury car, and buy things without looking at price tags.
However, after several years of hard work, despite all my efforts, life still did not improve.
She gradually realized that her career had long been in a bottleneck.
No matter how hard she tried, she wouldn't be able to achieve her life goals.
Instead of continuing to burn, it is better to come out and go it alone and start over.
In this way, she came to Guangzhou again and started her own business.
Based on the experience accumulated in Beijing, Ye Haiyang quickly found a direction for entrepreneurship, started from scratch, and established a cosmetics company.
From production and processing to sales, she has been busy and busy, all of which she has experienced herself.
With this hardship, the company quickly made a profit in just a few years and gained a firm foothold in the market.
But she did not limit her gaze to a single field, in addition to cosmetics, but also involved in the children's clothing industry, multi-line development.
Soon she achieved financial freedom and became the CEO of a company worth tens of millions, living in a mansion every day, driving a luxury car, and not being beautiful.
(Ye Haiyang)
But in front of people, she is a strong and cold female president;
After returning home, it is still difficult to escape the marriage chain of my parents.
As soon as Ye Haiyang came home, his mother kept nagging:
Now that you are old and stable, it is time to think about lifelong events.
His parents urged more, and Ye Haiyang also took his heart with him.
But love has always been unattainable, coupled with her perennial busy career, traveling everywhere, where there is time to fall in love.
Abundant material, fill the empty heart.
Especially after a busy day, back at home, I was greeted only by coldness and silence, and there was no bit of home that should look like.
Ye Haiyang fell into deep thought and kept asking himself:
Why do you make so much money?
At that moment, she suddenly felt that her struggle had lost its meaning.
At the same time, she realized that what she lacked now was not money, but love.
She desperately needs a partner, and the two work together to form a happy home.
And not just luxury houses, and expensive luxuries.
But where is that person?
Seeing that he was getting older, his sweetheart did not appear for a long time.
Ye Haiyang panicked.
One night, she lost sleep again because of emotional problems.
Suddenly, a thought came out of my mind:
Can you have a child and start a small family?
At first, she was frightened by her own thoughts.
But after careful consideration, Ye Haiyang found that this plan was still feasible.
Because as long as she finds the right sperm, she can get pregnant at any time.
But when love comes, she doesn't know.
The next day, Ye Haiyang told his mother about this "strange" idea.
In fact, she had long been mentally prepared to meet her mother's mental attack.
I also thought about how to move with affection, and I knew how to persuade my mother with reason.
But to her surprise, her mother chose to support her directly.
Ye Haiyang was both happy and touched.
With the strong backing of her mother, she suddenly had confidence in her heart.
Although she had long understood the difficulty of pregnancy, when the pain struck, the strong Ye Haiyang was still unbearable.
(Ye Haiyang)
In 2017, Ye Haiyang went to the United States to buy sperm and give birth.
When she arrived at the hospital, she learned that the price of sperm was more expensive than she thought, a thousand dollars a tube.
Looking at a large list of sperm, Ye Haiyang thought:
Since it is so expensive, I must choose the best quality.
After strict screening, she finally selected a "father" with mixed ancestry from five countries and an extroverted personality.
On the day of implantation of the embryo, Ye Haiyang unconsciously tensed up and kept asking the doctor:
Are you sure it's that number?
The doctor felt her nervousness and reassured her again and again:
I'm sure, it's a girl.
Ye Haiyang looked at the small white dot on the B super screen, and little by little was pushed into his body.
She suddenly began to worry, afraid that she would not be able to take care of her children, afraid that she would not be able to become a qualified mother.
After getting off the operating table, she became cautious even when she walked:
I was afraid she would fall out.
This seemingly inconspicuous little white dot has also become a bondage for her life.
And this time to ask for "love", counting all the costs, a total of 500,000 yuan was spent.
Ye Haiyang once said:
Of all the things I've done in my life, not once was the had to, everything was my choice.
Growing up, she never regretted any of her decisions.
But this time, she began to question her original choice.
(Ye Haiyang)
In the middle of pregnancy, Ye Haiyang was sentenced to two people before, not only was he out of shape, but he also weighed more than 180 pounds.
The most irritating thing for her was every time she went to the hospital for a maternity check-up.
Ye Haiyang saw that the other pregnant women were accompanied by their husbands, and only he was alone, looking lonely and helpless.
She had nowhere to talk about these pains, and could only endure them silently.
But if there are more grievances, it is easy to breed psychological problems.
At its worst, she suffered from depression.
During that time, I don't know why, she always cried for no reason, and her eyes were swollen like two walnuts.
Under the double torture of body and spirit, Ye Haiyang's emotions were on the verge of collapse.
She no longer had too many expectations for her child as she had when she first became pregnant, and only had one thought: it was good for the child to be healthy.
At the same time, she also kept doing psychological construction for herself:
A family is not a complete number of people, but the ability to look at family love.
After experiencing the bitterness of pregnancy in October, on December 14, 2017, her daughter Doris fell to the ground.
Ye Haiyang lay weakly on the hospital bed, and the doctor held the child and slowly walked to her.
The swaddled baby was full of energy and was crying.
Ye Haiyang smiled happily in the hospital bed.
A laugh, a cry, outlines the most beautiful scenery in the world.
(Ye Haiyang and eldest daughter Doris)
Afterwards, she recalled:
At that time, I looked at the child's face and felt that all the suffering was worth it.
But what she didn't know was that although it was hard to have children, raising children was more tiring.
As a new mother, Ye Haiyang struggled.
In the first few months of giving birth to Doris, she had to get up every two or three hours to feed her.
It was fine during the day, but the hardest thing was at night.
As soon as the alarm went off, she didn't even open her eyes, so she hurried out of bed.
And this kind of feeding life day and night, she lasted for a whole year.
Later, Doris began to eat porridge.
No matter how she feeds, her daughter just doesn't eat it, preferring to hold it rather than swallow it.
She was in a hurry and asked over and over again:
Aren't you hungry?
After having a daughter, Ye Haiyang will remember his daughter no matter where he goes on a business trip.
When you are busy every day, you need a video to be at ease.
Once, she went on a business trip to Macau for a month.
When I drove home, I saw Doris waiting at the door early, and he also took the initiative to open his arms to her and asked her for a hug.
At that moment, she felt like the happiest person in the world.
But this kind of "mateless" parenting, some people envy and recognize, some people can not understand.
(Ye Haiyang and eldest daughter Doris)
Since Ye Haiyang gave birth to Doris, the outside world's approach to her has been controversial.
Many people say that she is selfish and bluntly say:
How can a woman raise a child, such a child must be born with an unsound mind.
Others complained:
Single parenting, there are many inconveniences in life, women can not do without men.
Having children without marriage is too different and unacceptable to the public, and children cannot lift their heads for the rest of their lives.
Waves of questioning came pouring in, all saying that her small family was incomplete without her father's involvement.
Many people believe that even if children can grow up healthy, their psychology is not sound.
In fact, Ye Haiyang had considered this problem at the beginning.
At first, she even wanted to find a nominal father for her daughter to piece together a seemingly complete family.
But this idea was quickly rejected.
Because in this way, it is undoubtedly a deception of Doris.
One day in the future, the lie will be punctured, which will only bring deeper harm to the daughter.
She told Doris on a blog:
You are not a necessity for any accident or marriage, you are the only one that your mother loves with all her heart.
For the negative remarks in society, she is even more explicit:
I had a child myself, didn't bother the rest of the society, closed the door and lived our own lives.
As a woman, I will try to give her father's love and mother's love;
I don't need to be ashamed or sorry, I'm trying to give her the best life possible.
In Ye Haiyang's view, from the moment he decided to give birth to Doris, he decided to be responsible for the child's life.
In fact, it is also true that Ye Haiyang is trying to be perfect, both economically and emotionally.
First, she had to explain to the child the problem of not having a father.
Especially when Doris is 3-6 years old, that is the stage when children's curiosity is strongest.
In order to protect Doris's childlike heart, Ye Haiyang intends to tell his daughter:
You jumped out of a big watermelon.
To this end, she also bought a large watermelon, dug up the melon, and put her daughter in it.
And took a set of photos as proof, just to convince Doris.
(Ye Haiyang and eldest daughter Doris)
In order to keep his daughter from harm, Ye Haiyang can be said to be racking his brains and wanting to give her a complete childhood.
But this reason, can not deceive Doris for a lifetime, she will mature sooner or later.
Therefore, Ye Haiyang wrote a family letter to Doris early on, leaving it for her to read when he grew up.
Mom is sorry not to give you a dad, but I will teach you to be brave and protect you like dad, and will also give you gentleness and encouragement like mom...
In terms of companionship, Ye Haiyang has reduced the number of business trips:
As soon as she finished her work, she would rush to her daughter's side.
Pick her up and drop her off at an interest class and play with her.
Before Doris was 3 years old, Ye Haiyang basically never left her.
Before giving birth to her daughter, she was particularly fond of extreme sports: skydiving, sailing, surfing.
But because these sports are too dangerous, her mother has been advising her to "stop it."
After having a daughter, Ye Haiyang never participated again, because she was no longer alone.
What should my daughter do in case she has a safety problem.
(Ye Haiyang and eldest daughter Doris)
In terms of education, although she is gentle, she is principled.
Once, Ye Haiyang took his daughter to a restaurant for dinner, and Doris saw a couple at the next table.
The girl held a bouquet of flowers, and Doris pointed to the bouquet of flowers and let her mother see it.
This small move was immediately stopped by Ye Haiyang.
Instead of getting angry, she gently told her daughter, "It's rude to reach out and point out to someone." ”
After that, the palm of the hand is demonstrated, and the movement of extending outward is demonstrated.
She told her daughter that it was the right thing to do.
Doris did not learn at first, Ye Haiyang taught repeatedly, and did not get impatient until the church.
After having a daughter, she became careful and gentle, and the whole person was much softer.
In order to record his daughter's life, Ye Haiyang posted his and his daughter's daily life to the public platform.
When Doris grows up, seeing these videos is also a precious memory.
But I thought that It was enough for Ye Haiyang to have Doris, until because of one thing, ye Haiyang was prepared to have a second child.
In 2020, Doris is 3 years old and is leaving Ye Haiyang for kindergarten.
On the first day of sending her daughter to school, she actually felt the pain of separation anxiety.
What hurt Ye Haiyang the most was his daughter's performance.
Doris did not cry like the other children, but obediently walked into the school door, quickly adapted to the new environment, and had a good time with the children.
But Ye Haiyang stood outside the school and hid behind a tree to spy on his daughter, unwilling to leave for a long time.
Back in the car, she broke down and cried.
Ye Haiyang realized that he couldn't accompany his daughter for a long time, and at best he could only accompany her for a while.
Sooner or later, Doris will grow up and face the world alone.
She will also slowly grow old, facing life, old age, illness and death.
Ye Haiyang thought, if in the future, he had to leave and could not continue to protect Doris, what should Doris do?
Ye Haiyang didn't dare to think.
If Doris can have a younger brother or sister, the two can still be with each other until he leaves this world in the future.
As the old saying goes, parents love their children, and they have far-reaching plans for them.
Ye Haiyang is like this.
In 2021, she flew to Russia alone.
Like the first time she bought a sperm child, she had long been prepared, took several large bags of luggage, and arrived at the hospital after many twists and turns.
(Ye Haiyang)
Despite the tedious process, she is willing to endure the suffering of the past again.
For the sake of her daughter, she thought it was worth it.
This time, she spent 160,000 yuan, the second child is still a daughter, and Doris is the same father.
It just so happens that the sisters are the same father and mother, and there will be no estrangement between family and blood.
After conceiving her second child, Ye Haiyang's care for Doris is still meticulous.
Outside of work, she would take her daughter to a picnic and would wear her own clothes and walk on the catwalk together.
And Doris is also looking forward to the arrival of her sister, and she will have new relatives in this family.
After netizens learned that Ye Haiyang bought sperm again, they no longer wantonly accused like the first time.
In its place were blessings, envy, and concern for her body, telling her to be safe abroad.
During the second pregnancy, perhaps because of Doris's company, Ye Haiyang obviously did not feel as painful as the first pregnancy.
Even the emotions are very positive.
In February 2022, Ye Haiyang's second daughter was born, and she named the child Hatti.
(Ye Haiyang and eldest daughter Doris)
Before giving birth to her second child, she and Doris had many communications.
She told her eldest daughter that she would not snub her because of her sister's birth, and would still give her the same care and love as before.
Therefore, after Hatti was born, Doris did not reject it, but took the initiative to help Ye Haiyang take care of his sister.
While Hatti was sleeping, she would sneak up to her sister's room and gently shake the crib to make her sleep better.
Those who were not optimistic about Ye Haiyang in the past also changed their views when they saw the picture of the warm life of their family of three.
In fact, there are no absolute standards in this world, let alone specific rules.
And Ye Haiyang is not the first woman to choose to have children independently out of wedlock.
Liu Yuling, the star of the American drama "Deadly Woman", chose to conceive and have a child just 9 years ago.
There is also a 33-year-old female model Li Xueke in Hangzhou, who also gave birth to three mixed-race babies with super high appearance through the purchase of sperm.
Not only can women have children out of wedlock, but even men can raise children alone.
For example, a certain Internet celebrity single father Ah Yu and his daughter Pocket.
In the eyes of the outside world, none of them have a complete home.
But their children are living very happily, smiling.
And single parents like Ye Haiyang have not given their children any companionship.
(Ye Haiyang and eldest daughter Doris)
660,000 yuan, two half-born daughters of the same father and mother.
Behind this, it is Ye Haiyang's strong financial resources that support her "willfulness".
As the CEO of a cosmeceutical brand, her maverick life path is not something that every woman can replicate.
As she sends the path she has traveled to the public platform, more and more people, supportive, skeptical... They all came to her.
Her life has thus added another label, it was originally a "CEO with a net worth of tens of millions", "an unmarried daughter", and now there is an additional "Internet celebrity".
And the life that cannot be copied is due to her unremitting efforts.
So, sometimes, many people want to live willfully, why willful?
The answer is that only by working hard can you have the qualification to be wayward.
See clearly, it is "there may be", not "must have", so, what qualifications do you have not to work hard?
Regarding family and love, many people believe that a complete family represents complete love.
But in fact, there are many seemingly harmonious families that still give children indelible harm.
For example, the popular term "widowed parenting" in recent years.
It looks like the marriage is complete, there is a father and a mother, but behind the integrity, it is full of devastation.
It can be seen that a seemingly complete marriage may not be able to raise children of sound minds.
What is more important than a complete family is that as a parent, you should give your child enough care and companionship.
For example, Olympic champion Gu Ailing, she also grew up in a single-parent family.
But because she received enough care and love, she made herself strong.
Instead of focusing on the integrity of the family, the focus should be on the company of the child.
With enough love, children can thrive even if they are born into a single-parent family.
Do you approve of Ye Haiyang's choice?
Welcome to leave a message to discuss.
Author: Zhu Xiaolu & Jiang Yige
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