At a press conference on November 20, 2021, a popular search article - "The birth rate on the mainland fell below 1% last year!" The news said that for the first time, the Chinese population has experienced negative growth; at the same time, "after the introduction of the strictest birth policy in history, the national average birth sex ratio is close to 1:1.54." This figure was released at the end of December 2020. That's an amazing number! It is also the lowest birth rate in China's history of 43.
The low birth rate is also accompanied by a low marriage rate, and the first marriage rate in the mainland in 2020 fell by 12.2% compared with 2019, the lowest in recent years.
Under the extreme pressure of life, this generation of young people chooses to lie flat, not to marry, meditate and meditate on "breaking away", living a Buddhist life, and "afraid of marriage" has become a high-frequency word that appears on social platforms.
Although afraid of marriage, but you see that human cub, soft cute attributes up to 200%, girls rarely do not love, if not men do not get married, just have children, do you dare?
Ye Haiyang, who did not contribute to the marriage rate, but contributed to the birth rate, is pregnant with her second child this year.
Watermelon small public lift
Once, Ye Haiyang bought a large watermelon, dug out the pulp of the watermelon, put his little daughter into the shell of the watermelon, and took a series of photos. When the daughter saw this, she was very happy and asked, "Mom, where did you come from?" Ye Haiyang smiled and said, "It was Dad who picked it up from the watermelon!" "My daughter was very happy to hear it. She didn't know if her daughter would ask her later, "Mom, where am I from?" She clicked on the picture, showed it to her daughter, and told her: "You are a little public lift made of watermelon!" Mom buys a watermelon, cuts it open, and you're out. ”
Of course, this was limited to her ignorance, and when she grew up and sensible, she would tell her daughter the truth.
The truth is that daughters are the product of love and lack thereof.
Ye Hai was born in 1988, has a very strong personality, in his hometown of Changchun, Jilin Province, basically a "foreign man and internal woman" family model, many girls are called "victory men", and there are girls like Ye Haiyang who name boys.
Ye Hai's face is full of vitality, short hair, usual sportswear and sneakers, the appearance is full of aggression, but it is a supplement to her strong personality.
After graduation, she came to Beijing for the first time, lived in a small basement, lived a 996-year social animal life, and dreamed that one day she could live in a big house, have a car, and buy things without looking at price tags.
Eventually Beijing failed to realize her dream, and Ye went to Guangzhou, where she built a cosmetics factory from scratch.
She was smart and hardworking, familiar with every department of the factory, and within a few years the company was profitable.
In 2017, Ye Haiyang, 28, was the CEO of a cosmetics production company, she had a house, a car, savings, and pure male friends, just no love.
During the day at the factory, Ye Haiyang wore a white overalls and a blue sanitary hat. She checks the production of cosmetics from one workshop to another. As soon as she got outside, she checked the order and contacted the customer.
After a busy day, the home was empty, and the quiet of the night exacerbated the loneliness, filling every corner of the room, mercilessly dragging her into the abyss of loneliness and cold, Ye Haiyang couldn't help but think: "What do I do with so much money?" ”
Now that she had everything she had dreamed of in her basement in Beijing, she suddenly had no reason to work so hard, and her life seemed to have lost so much, but what was that?
Ye Haiyang stood on the balcony, looking at the brightly lit city, feeling lost.
Downstairs, she heard the crisp laughter of a child, and looked down at a couple holding a birthday hat with a little little person carved on it, presumably a family returning from the restaurant to celebrate the child's birthday.
That kid, how cute!
As her home grew farther and farther away, Ye Haiyang's heart moved, and what she lacked was a home.
No love was found, but she still had the maternal love of a woman, not even the maternal love of a child.
This is the reason for the birth of "Watermelon Little Gongju", she was born without love, and she was born without the leaves of maternal love.
Your talent is holding you back from life
In 2017, Ye Decided to cross the ocean to the United States to buy sperm, and she bought three tubes of sperm from two highly educated healthy extroverted men for more than $1,000 each.
From the selection of sperm to ovulation, egg retrieval, embryo transfer, obstetric examination, embryo implantation, etc., a total of 500,000 yuan was spent before and after.
After selecting sperm, they began to promote ovulation, egg retrieval and the formation of early embryos that were implanted without anesthesia, and Ye Haiyang woke up to see an extra white spot in her uterus through a B-ultrasound image.
Ye Li's eyes were moist, looking at the little white dot, it was her child, it was her gift to her lover, it was the bond for the rest of her life.
The embryo was successfully transferred, well developed, Ye Haiyang was pregnant, she was very happy to be a mother, very happy, she did not dare to make big moves, and carefully cared for the small life in her belly.
After three months of pregnancy without any reaction, Ye Haiyang finally relaxed.
In the second trimester, as the number of obstetric examinations increased, the smile on Ye Haiyang's face became less and less, not because the baby had problems, but because she was too lonely.
Every time she went to the obstetric examination, the other pregnant women had their husbands around. Ye Haiyang has no husband, and her mother is also around.
Whenever I saw another couple together, my mother's eyes were always swirling around the couple's body, emitting a silent sigh, and Ye Haiyang bowed his head and his heart was empty.
She felt depressed, the sky was gray every day, she didn't even want to look in the mirror, she couldn't believe that the fat woman with the big belly was her.
During pregnancy, she gained 186 pounds and had a big belly. She lost faith. She cried and asked her mother, "Mom, is this the end of my life?" ”
At that time, Ye Haiyang's wish was very simple, she just wanted to get the child out quickly and be healthy.
After the baby was born, Ye Haiyang lay unconscious on the delivery bed under anesthesia and anesthesia, and when the doctor brought the baby to Ye Haiyang's eyes, the first thing she noticed was the baby's black hair. Yellow? white...... She didn't know what was going on. How was Ye Haiyang discovered? What's the problem? Why does hair have color? Is there really a secret of heredity? The father of the child is of mixed race, why is the child's hair black? Or is her genes too strong? So the child is black haired?
With a series of questions, Ye Haiyang left confusedly, and when she woke up, she saw the gentle and cute little baby in her arms, and her heart was full of love.
No matter what her daughter looks like or what color her hair is, as long as she is healthy, she can do it.
She named her daughter Doris, a word from the Greek word meaning gift. She wanted her daughter to soar freely like the ocean. In the process of growing up, Ye Haiyang gave her daughter a lot of love and help. After his daughter grew up, Ye Haiyang trained her daughter to become an excellent female designer. In Ye Haiyang's view, a daughter is a gift from heaven, a daughter who makes up for the lack of love in her heart, and a daughter with a family.
Double life
Now it was just her and Doris, who had wanted to marry a man and become Doris's nominal father, but she felt like she was cheating on her daughter, and if he couldn't be with her long enough, leaving the family in the middle would cause irreparable emotional damage to Doris.
Ye Haiyang also wanted to tell her that her father was a soldier in a foreign country and did not have time to go to China to see her, but this inevitably made her feel abandoned, because her father had been working and did not want her.
Ye Haiyang thought about it, but he didn't know whether he had made the wrong choice, whether he shouldn't have a daughter, and whether he was mentally capable of taking on the responsibility of another life.
No answer.
Day after day, having a daughter is a very happy thing, and the children's small acts of frowning and smiling have brought countless small blessings to Ye Haiyang's life, and her life is full and sweet.
But taking care of children is a very hard thing, children eat, drink, cry and cry are uncontrollable, can happen at any time.
In the process, she found herself torn between raising children and earning money to support her family, just as she was torn between motherhood and fatherhood.
If so, why indulge in the unthinkable? She was an ordinary rural woman. But that doesn't mean she's not a "problem woman", but because she has a kind and sensitive heart. The answer lies in her, she is both a mother and a father.
With this in mind, Ye Haiyang decided to be both a father and a mother, giving Doris the greatest love, and since she chose not to have a daughter, it was her duty to love her.
She has endured tremendous pressure from all levels of society and the invisible pressure of her own spirit, but she has to face it bravely.
In 20195, Aha video interviewed Ye Haiyang, Ye Haiyang told in detail about the whole process of buying and buying sperm girls, in the video, Aha also walked into his own cosmetics factory and home, and filmed his daily work and life with Doris.
This 12-minute interview video went viral on online media such as Station B, triggering discussions among countless netizens, who asked: "How about Ye Haiyang buying a jingsheng girl?" ”
Some people accused Ye Haiyang of being selfish, saying: "It is selfish to buy sperm just because you want children." ”
"A family without men is incomplete," one man scolded, "and a child has not had paternal love all his life." ”
Some speculate that Doris will be "mentally unsound" in the future.
Others dismissively say, "No man wants that?" Why spend $500,000 on sperm? Isn't there a place to spend? ”
Although Ye Haiyang was full of doubts, he was still conscious and said, "I gave birth to a child and didn't bother anyone." My daughter and I lived our lives behind closed doors, giving our daughters maternal and fatherly love without feeling selfish. ”
Ye Li knew exactly what she was doing, and for her daughter she would learn to drive, just to take her out for convenience. She used to love extreme sports as the only passion of her life, but now, for her daughter's sake, she gave it up because it was too dangerous.
Now she is the pillar of the family, and she must protect her life for the safety of her daughter.
Half a century after Chairman Mao proposed in 1955 that "women can live for half a day", many people still reject strong women from their bones and are unwilling to sit on an equal footing with women. In fact, women also have certain powers, but their power is more reflected in a social status than an individual's rights. In our traditional culture, "women do not marry men" is a matter of course. Whether a woman has children or not, and who has children and how many children there are, is a matter for men.
In a scene from the documentary "On Earth," a mother lies helplessly in a hospital bed, and she and her husband are discussing with relatives whether her unborn child will be born vaginally or by caesarean section, and she listens for a moment and whispers, "I think..."
Her husband rudely interrupted her: "Don't say it, I'll give birth to whatever I say."
Ridiculously ridiculous, the child is clearly in a woman's womb, and in the eyes of many men, this woman is not even qualified to speak.
"It's not a matter of men dominating reproductive rights," Ye said, "and if I were a man raising children alone, there's a good chance someone would say 'Dude, you're cool.'" ”
Many people also know this, and one person explicitly expressed his support when commenting on Ye Haiyang buying a girl who bought a sperm, saying: "She has a child from the womb and uses her own money to raise it, which is really selfish." Some people think that Ye Hai's behavior is selfish; some people say that she is a good mother, but more people think that she is a bad mother; some people say that Ye Hai is a good father, but there are also many criticisms. Ironically, the real selfish ones are the fathers who neglect their duties.
In 2021, Doris will turn 3 years old, and when she walks on the catwalk, Ye Haiyang will hold her hand.
Ye Haiyang felt that it was time to have another child, and she had been worried that if she did not have a father in the future, Doris would have to face the world alone.
But if Doris can have another child, she will have another blood relative in this world in the future, and at any time, the children will have someone to support each other in the storm of life.
In May this year, Ye Haiyang decided to go to Russia to buy sperm to give birth, and after consultation, the Russian fertility agency airlifted Ye Haiyang's fertilized eggs previously stored in the United States to Russia, so that Doris could have a half-brother and sister at a cost of about 158,000 yuan.
As early as November 2021, Ye Haiyang posted the news that her second child is also a daughter on social platforms, which triggered many people's blessings for her: "Two daughters are winners in life!" ”
"Ye Haiyang", who was 7 months pregnant, had to go to Russia every once in a while for examinations, and she was also carrying heavy luggage to prepare for the birth of a new life.
After returning home, in addition to skin care products, she also started her own brand of children's clothing collection, and now, her biggest hope is to walk on the catwalk with her two daughters, and when they leave the catwalk, the three of them will return to a normal and sweet life.
She looked forward to the day when her two daughters grew up and would say to her, "Daddy, you've worked hard. ”
She's been calling Mom for years, and "Dad" is a way for girls to understand how hard it is for her to be both mom and dad.
"If they call me 'Daddy,' it's worth my death," Ye said.